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Original poster

It has finally happened & I'm heartbroken. One of our dogs has bitten Ds1....... :0(

109 replies

LadyOfTheFlowers · 05/03/2007 10:46

As some will know, I have two female black labradors. They have always been fine with the kids, no probs at all.
When my ass was turned this morning, for a minute, ds approached one of them, crouched down to pet her and she lashed out and nipped his arm. I am pretty sure which one it was as she is sulking now and wont move.
I feel partly responsible as I don't take them out as often as I should, it's not easy. They are so strong and with the twin buggy it is a nightmare. They are very intelligent and energetic and I think she is probably frustrated.
I called dh and he said seperate them from the kids obviously and we will discuss when he gets home.
Anyone had any experience of this?
I'm totally heartbroken.

OP posts:
Mossie · 05/03/2007 11:42

Halti leads are just under a tenner I think, don't know where pet smart is but I know they sell them at Pets at Home, and most pet stores.

Original poster
LadyOfTheFlowers · 05/03/2007 11:43

thats it! pets at home, they changed their name to petsmart here!

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ipanemagirl · 05/03/2007 11:45

I think pets are a massive commitment and there's a problem if your commitment to them competes with your commitment to you children.
This is just my opinion but these dogs sound a little onerous to you - they need so much energy from owners to be truly happy. If they are a essentially a bit of a drag then I would wonder: why not rehome?!
They are such hierarchical creatures and whatever anyone says, there is so much evidence for dogs feeling competitive with young children for the Boss's attention.
My father's dog bit my step sister's child on the face (she's still scarred years later) and they didn't have the dog put down - I find that impossible to understand!

Wags · 05/03/2007 11:45

Yup any good pet shop has them. They are black webbing material and go over their nose and you clip the lead to them. Some dogs will try and scratch them off but persevere. They are not muzzles and would not stop them nipping or biting or anything, just a tool to stop them pulling. The pet shop will explain. My 2 would pull me over in a second and I am tall and big!! With these on its like having 2 yorkshire terriers on the end of the lead. Other things which you may already do, don't allow dogs upstairs, don't allow them on the sofa, all helps with dominance issues. Try and give the dogs a 'safe' area maybe where the kids can't get to them so they can sleep without fear of being prodded. It is hard I know, little kids are so fast. Do try and check out the pain issues though. My dog did a warning snarl when DD crawled towards him when she first started moving and we had him checked out first by the vet then contacted a dog behaviourist and got a lot of help that way.

Mossie · 05/03/2007 11:46

Personally I think (and this is only imvho) that you can sort it. But it does take effort as you say it's also remembering all the usual stuff like going through doors first, etc. etc. and sticking to it, and making sure your ds and your dh stick to it too.

Also I do think daily exercise is vital, but I can only imagine it must be a mare with a twin buggy. But I also think that once they are back "in their place" so to speak (the language of dog training does sound quite harsh sometimes!) they will become more controllable on walks anyway... bit of a chicken and egg situation though!

Wags · 05/03/2007 11:51

I don't think they sound beyond repair AT ALL. It is just such hard work to do the repair that maybe you haven't got the time to sort the problem out. If you haven't got time to do the basics like walking them then it really might be the best option to explore finding them a new home. No one will think any less of you, its a hard decision. I really feel for you. My kids were 22m apart and although they are now 3.9 and 22m I STILL really struggle with them, the dogs and getting everything done and keeping everyone happy.

Guard · 05/03/2007 11:54

You poor thing it's so tough. We have a female black lab too, and you must be devastated. Think separating them is essential and I really hope you can sort it out. Really good luck.

Original poster
LadyOfTheFlowers · 05/03/2007 11:56

i have 14m between theboys.
i will put all ideas forward to dh tonight and see what heppens. i will let you know tomorrow.

thanks all.

OP posts:
ipanemagirl · 05/03/2007 12:00

good luck, it's a tough decision!
but FWIW having grown up with a dog - I personally believe the happiest dogs are the ones who live predominantly outside in the country or where there is loads of space.
I think this urban house dwelling dog thing is for us - not for them. I know they adore us but being stuck inside so much... I just wonder how loving it really is to domesticate them this far? I think farm dogs and working dogs and dogs with space are the happiest dogs. Cats seem much better adapted to lying about in houses all day!

piglit · 05/03/2007 12:01

LOTF - I am so sorry to hear this. We have a 3 year old lab. She is a total angel (so far) with our dses but I know we are very lucky. She has 2 good walks a day - one with dh in the morning and one with me in the afternoon. She is also a working dog in the winter. I understand what it's like with a double buggy and one dog so 2 must be really hard. However, we hardly ever put our dog on a lead - she is trained to walk to heel - and as we live in the New Forest she has wonderful walks and romps with other dogs. I really do think that exercise is the key to it all - our lab snoozes for most of the day and gets up and walks away when the dses are being too noisy/annoying. Dh hinted about getting another dog but I said no. We've been so lucky with ours and there's no way you can guarantee another one like her.

If you feel that you can't sort the situation out then rehoming does sound like an option, although it may have been a "warning nip" rather than a full on bite. There are lots of people who'd love a couple of labs and would give them a good home.

Good luck with whatever you decide.

piglit · 05/03/2007 12:02

And LOTF - I really understand where you are coming from - I have 12 months between my dses. Shame we don't live near each other - we could meet up and get our dogs and boys to tire each other out!

Original poster
LadyOfTheFlowers · 05/03/2007 14:07

that would be ace piglit, if only!

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ShinyHappyPeopleHoldingHands · 05/03/2007 14:09

As you weren't watching, could DS have done something that could have hurt the dog, even accidentally, like stood on her tail or something?

Over Christmas, our little niece's lovely affectionate young cocker spaniel nipped DS2 on the head at FIL's house. BIL took her home immediately and was full of apologies but the fault was entirely DS's of that I am in no doubt. He has SN and is a micheivous little wotsit and was in right bugger mode, making it his mission to try and drag the dog about by her paws. She was on the lap of our 10 year old neice when he succeeded in getting hold of the dog's foot and giving it a good yank which when she finally snapped at him. Obviously during future family get togethers we will keep them apart because DS cannot be relied upon to learn lessons like a "normal" child might.

I know you can't take chances with dogs but in some situations I think you have to exercise some common sense (not saying you aren't!) so I think you are right in using this incident as the point at which you make changes, ie.. more exercise for the dogs/more supervision around DS etc.

Hope it works out.

HeyBert · 05/03/2007 14:10

haven't read whole thread

but sorry have to comment on use of word 'nipped'

it bit him

HeyBert · 05/03/2007 14:11

but sorry you have this decision

Enid · 05/03/2007 14:11

we don't have a dog

but dh has always been adamant we would get rid of any dog that bit

so sad I know

Original poster
LadyOfTheFlowers · 05/03/2007 14:13

she pinched him,she didnt sink her teeth in iyswim?

OP posts:
clumsymum · 05/03/2007 14:14

Are you sure your dog wasn't provoked!

I was about 4 when I was bitten by our westie. It was a nasty bite, I still bear the scar, but it was my fault, because I was trying to put him into a cardboard box, he had told me he didn't want to go in (got out twice, then growled at me) but I persisted and he bit my arm.

I learnt to respect him more (still bandaged his legs together, and painted his nose red in subsequent years tho') and he NEVER did it again.

Maybe your dog was eating? or might ds have caught her eye or something?

Obviously, your children have to be safe. But your dogs need love and respect too. So make sure ds knows what happened, and don't assume that your lab has suddenly become an habitual child biter.

hatwoman · 05/03/2007 14:18

I think you have two options

  • give the dogs the attention they need - the daily exercise they need and obedience classes
  • or rehome
It's really not fair (to the dogs or yourselves) to have big dogs like labs and not make daily exercise as much part of your routine as brushing your teeth. come rain or shine. come trantruming/hungry/tired dcs (or adults ) Perhaps if you don;t have the time a lab needs you could look at another breed?
HeyBert · 05/03/2007 14:18

but clumsymum, isn't that waht kids do

and therefore isn't it a better idea to not have dogs that bite in the same house as children?

HeyBert · 05/03/2007 14:19

(play with dogs, somtimes roughly)

Original poster
LadyOfTheFlowers · 05/03/2007 14:20

maywell have been, i didnt see.

OP posts:
sniff · 05/03/2007 14:26

If you need to give her a new home I would have her I have one black lab already I hope you manage to sort it out though best of luck

clumsymum · 05/03/2007 14:28

No heybert, you teach your child what is appropriate behaviour with a dog. Otherwise No house would ever have a fireplace/radiator, step without a stairgate, or younger child, because kids don't instinctively know what is safe/unsafe, you teach them.

My guess is that this little boy now knows not to poke dog in eye/ear, pull tail or whatever he might have done, because the result hurts.

BTW I knew after my experience that as soon as Prince walked away to his bed, that I had to leave him alone.

Original poster
LadyOfTheFlowers · 05/03/2007 14:28

very kind of you sniff!
what do you think about me parting them? molly, who would come to you would be ok with your lab, but bella would be left here on her own.
i think she would be ok and love it tbh but how would i know?

OP posts: