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Original poster

Should I give one of the cats back to the Cat Rescue?

42 replies

MurmuringClothDoll · 10/02/2012 09:25

We adopted 2 brothers 10 months ago...they were 6 years old then. According to the rexcue they were well adjusted and affectionate and suited to a home with children.

They ARE affctionate but they are not doing as well as they should. ONe of them has been domineering with the other since day one...he pees on the bed every other day and we have replaced the duvet three times.

I have had them both checked for UTIs. Apparently the cat is insecure.

He is always looking for attention...fine...I will happily stroke a cat...but when his brother seeks attention he then attacks him...this has made his brother very jumpy and last week after getting bitten on his shoulder he ran into the coffee table in a panic and knocked his fang out.

The dominant brother then goes and pees on the bed...as soon as ONE thing annoys or upsets him...such as I put him out for a while or his brother gets to sit on my DHs lap....or his dinner is late...he pees. ALways on our bed.

I tried feliway and provide the litter they alwayas had but no improvement.

I have done with it. Last nght I got into bed where my three year old was asleep and the cat had pissed on the bed whilst she slept in it. I changed the entire bed and then went to sleep.

I woke up this morning and my DH had left the door open and the cat had pissed on the bed again while we were all asleep.

I contacted the rescue 4 days ago and then before that too and they have not got back to me...I explained the problem and indicated the cats should probably be separated....no reply. What do I do???

OP posts:
ragged · 10/02/2012 09:29

I would probably give him back, too, presuming nobody else can come up with good ideas for you to try first.
((Expect us both to be flamed))?
I was up front with CPL when we adopted about things that I could imagine meaning I'd have to give them back. My CPL lady was fine about that, I think she appreciated me taking things seriously!

From the articles CPL put in local freebie paper I think they'd rather you gave him back then run the risk of find the situation so intolerable that you snap, or his quality of life strongly declined.

ragged · 10/02/2012 09:29

ps: is there another rescue in your area?

CogitoErgoSometimes · 10/02/2012 09:32

Reduce access. Keep the cats out of the main part of the house. Assuming you have a cat-flap, allow them access to one or two rooms only (preferably ones with a hard floor that you can clean easily), the world outside and keep your bedroom doors shut. No need for cats to be in bedrooms

Sparklingbrook · 10/02/2012 09:36

It sounds like both cats (and you) aren't happy. You have tried for ten months and I totally understand how fed up you must be about the pissy beds situation. I would consider rehoming him TBH. Then his brother will be a happier cat and he will too.

Original poster
MurmuringClothDoll · 10/02/2012 09:36

It wasn't the CPL but a smaller local one....I think I said at the time of adoption that I would give them back if there was trouble...they asked me to.

I don't have a cat flap cogito they only go in the garden as they are nervous of the local cats...and we have french doors that are glass.

I dont see how to keep them in one room....their litter is n the hallway downstairs and in the batroom upstairs...I try t keep the bedroom door shut but DH and the Kids keep forgetting ALL THE TIME I am fuming now.

OP posts:
lesley33 · 10/02/2012 09:38

YANBU. Cats are actually solitary animals naturally. Some cats do fine sharing a home with other cats, but other cats really need to be the only cat living there.

ohbugrit · 10/02/2012 09:41

YANBU.

Cats don't always cope well living with other cats - it may be that these two never got on but the change of environment when they came to you was the last straw. It sounds like the 'dominant' cat is actually a very anxious character, and should be rehomed alone.

Sparklingbrook · 10/02/2012 09:41

Please don't beat yourself up Cloth. You can't be dealing with this every day. He probably wouldn't do it if he was the only cat in the house. It sounds like he is marking the house as 'all his'.

ohbugrit · 10/02/2012 09:42

Cross posts :)

mummymccar · 10/02/2012 09:42

How many litter trays do you have? Multiple cats should have a tray each otherwise they will fight and try to dominate each other. (voice of experience!)

Sparklingbrook · 10/02/2012 09:42

All in agreement ohbugrit. Grin

peggotty · 10/02/2012 09:46

I agree, the dominant cat should be an 'only' cat possibly but have you considered that it may be another cat entirely (other neighbourhood cat perhaps?) that might be causing your cats behaviour? This might be causing the cat to be generally stressed and taking it out on his brother?

pepperrabbit · 10/02/2012 09:46

I agree rehoming the dominant cat seems sensible. In the meantime you'll need to be strict about the doors.
My cat has never been allowed upstairs, but even at 13 she'll saunter past if she thinks we're not paying attention Hmm.
We shut her in the kitchen overnight and when we go out, to prevent any access upstairs, this also makes it a grown-ups responsibility to shut the last door. I know it's yucky but could you temporarily put the litter tray in the kitchen just overnight? One with a lid/hood?

pepperrabbit · 10/02/2012 09:48

Also we had 2 sisters, sadly Doris got run over about 8 years ago and Daisy changed personality overnight. She went from being the stand-offish cat to being so affectionate, it was quite a surprise to see how she must have been curbed by her sister.

Original poster
MurmuringClothDoll · 10/02/2012 10:10

mummy as mentioned...I have 2. ONe up and one down. They use the same one each with the dominant cat using the downstairs one.

Pepper I will. I will begin that tonight. I have called CPL and they were very good....the rescue that I got them off have ignored me three times now so as far as I am concerned they've waived their right to be involved.

The CPL assured me that a good looking breed cat...which bless him he is...will find a nice home quickly.

I may keep him here until a home is found...we've put up with his habits this long and the CPL are stretched.

I will do the kitchen thing.

OP posts:
TheCuntwormUnderfoot · 10/02/2012 10:22

Good decision. We have a neurotic cat who isn't above peeing everywhere when stressed. He is lovely though.

He HATES other cats. Fine with dogs! If he had the misfortune to be homed with 'another cat for company' he'd be a basket case and so miserable. He can also be very dominant and is often in fights with other cats.

The most caring and responsible thing to do is to re-home one of them and make SURE that one is re-homed to a place where he can be an only cat. Many cats really need this. They are solitary by nature and need their territory to be all their own. Your poor dominant cat is thoroughly miserable.

ChickensGoMeh · 10/02/2012 10:26

YANBU. The peeing thing would drive me batshit, and you've tried for 10 months. Sounds like everyone will be happier if the dominant cat lives elsewhere.

GetOrfMoiiLand · 10/02/2012 10:27

Oh poor you. You really have tried with your cats, but I don't blame you for being in despair about a cat pissing on your bed all the time. It really counds as if he will be better alone. I am glad the CPL are able to help you.

I LOVE the names Doris and Daisy for a pair of cats.

I have 4 cats, and although they are all affectionate in different ways, I know one of the cats would be delighted if the other 3 got run over by a bus, he would prefer to be a lone cat. We have to make a fuss of him regularly, in a room with the door closed and the other cats far away.

None of them piss anywhere though, thank god.

mrsjay · 10/02/2012 10:34

Cats are terrritorial they usually like to be alone I dont think yabu to take a cat back if it isnt working out , cats have a mind of their own and will do what they want , I would keep room doors shut keep the cats to a certain room for now . speak to your vet first see what they say before you give the cat back ,

mrsjay · 10/02/2012 10:37

In my cats younger days she would scrap and hiss at anycat daring to come into HER garden and would bring down the biggest of tom cats that lived round here It was huge and Jaycat would pounce she wasnt a lady Grin its sad now she is elderly and cats wander in and out of the garden now she seems to have lost her dominance some cats cant bare to be near other cats ,

Ambersivola · 10/02/2012 10:41

We returned a male Siamese to CPL because it only liked male members of the household. It would attack females. It sunk its fangs into me and my daughter's ankles.

glitzy · 10/02/2012 10:48

You could also try door closers. You put them on the door (spring type things) that will automatically close the door after you - then the cat cant get in.

glitzy · 10/02/2012 10:50

we have ones like this - works a treat Door closer

Tmesis · 10/02/2012 10:59

YANBU. You're not just doing it for your own convenience; the cats are unhappy being together and it's not fair on them to make them go through another ten years or more of that when each of them could be blissfully happy if they were separated.

Sparklingbrook · 10/02/2012 11:02

That sums it up very well Tmesis.