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Need support in remaining in UK with my family. Can you help?

251 replies

englishgarden370 · 10/10/2015 23:31

Hi Everyone,

I am an American citizen. My husband and two children are British citizens. I am having to make an application for Leave to Remain in the UK with them and as a precautionary measurement I have started a petition to aid in my application to remain in them. It used to be that anyone who married a British citizen had the right to stay in the country with them but so many immigrants have taken advantage in the past just to gain citizenship that the government has made it much more complicated and expensive now. My three year old son had autism and Sensory Integration Disorder. I am everything to him and my family is my whole world. If any of you could possibly take a second to read my petition and if you were happy to sign it, in support of my application to remain with them, I would be extremely grateful!

Thank you so much for your consideration!

Need support in remaining in UK with my family. Can you help?
OP posts:

Bakeoffcake · 11/10/2015 00:44

Well I'm glad to see I've xposted with some sympathetic human beings. Thank goodness for that!


StormBraver · 11/10/2015 00:45

The OP is undoubtedly in a difficult situation but that petition is clearly written to tug at the heart strings. The non-disabled child is hardly mentioned...


Bogeyface · 11/10/2015 00:45

He already is, Bogey. He's a full-time carer from the sounds of it

No, he works. That has been said to you several times. The OP is the full time carer and if she had to leave then he would have to leave his job in order to take that on.


LunchpackOfNotreDame · 11/10/2015 00:47

I wouldn't move to a non EU country with my complex health needs and marry a person with residency then "forget" to sort my own out or ensure we had the funds to ensure mine were sorted. I'd fully expect my visa application to be turned down if I didn't meet criteria


swimmerforlife · 11/10/2015 00:48

Er yes to put emphasis on the fact her son is dependent on her and without his mum he could severely struggle.


expatinscotland · 11/10/2015 00:50

It's nowhere in the petition, Bogey, that he works other than as a carer. Nowhere in the OP's posts, either. Just that they are on a low income. And she leaves as it is because she has to go to the US and then come back. The visitor visa means you can only stay 6 months out of every 12. And yet he still manages to work somehow.


expatinscotland · 11/10/2015 00:52

Her son is legally entitled to enter and leave the US at will, he is a US citizen by descent. So is her daughter. They have known about this for at least 3 years, that is when the big changes came in. But again, let's get a petition so we can sidestep the rules every other fucker has to watch out for and follow, as long as I'm allright, Jack.


MissFitt68 · 11/10/2015 00:52

I don't know how MN will cope with posts from refugees in the future.... They will likely want to bring family members over here to live. So 20,000 vulnerable refugees due ( the fit healthy ones have gone to Germany, we will get thevulnerable ones and the benefits bill too) so that 20,000 has potentio to double if not triple

And MN tonight struggles with the thought of one lady staying


swimmerforlife · 11/10/2015 00:53

Well as long as the children are with their mum and not their dad then that okay then..


Tiggeryoubastard · 11/10/2015 00:53

'A mother comes on here asking for help to be allowed to stay with her two children and Husband and about 90% of the people on the thread are being so unkind and unsupportive.'

A feckless (at best, going by the visa she has, dishonest as well) person comes on here asking for help to try to emotionally manipulate and bully the Home Office to be able to circumvent/avoid the unless and regulations that everybody else has to adhere to.
No, the truth doesn't have the same ring to it, does it. Far less convenient.


GiddyOnZackHunt · 11/10/2015 00:54

It's all well and good to slam people as inhumane and unsympathetic. But the law is there. If the OP had been shoplifting to support her child or burgling houses would you be keen to sign? There are a thousand heart breaking stories out there. Hundreds of thousands. Wherever you draw the line, somebody will be hard done by. I trust there's a corresponding appeal to the US?


LunchpackOfNotreDame · 11/10/2015 00:54

As I said right at the start.

Why don't they go to the states and the dad move with them. Sounds like he has sole custody of his son.

Could it be because their immigration rules are tougher than ours?


GiddyOnZackHunt · 11/10/2015 00:56

Miss a Syrian refugee bringing a dependent here is within the law. And frankly the OP isn't escaping from hell.


Viviennemary · 11/10/2015 00:57

Why don't you all live in the USA. It's probably a nicer life there than in the UK.


GiddyOnZackHunt · 11/10/2015 00:57

And the healthcare Lunchpack


AliceDoesntLiveHereAnymore · 11/10/2015 00:57

We'd probably all do the same in her position. Well, no, actually some of us followed the rules to the letter, which is why we're not in her position right now.

Don't misunderstand - I'm sympathetic to her situation. But it's frustrating. They knowingly went around the rules, willingly cut the corners, and are now upset because they're caught out.

I think the OP's solicitor gave her bad advice. Publicising this particular situation is likely going to incur public wrath because they tried to get around the rules and now want help to get a pass because of it. This is not a "miscarriage of justice" situation and is not likely to get a sympathetic response from many people because of that.

Surely the solicitor should be able to put this through on humanitarian grounds to get your ILR.


TheFairyCaravan · 11/10/2015 00:59

This thread makes me ashamed to be a Mnetter, it really does. Not many weeks ago a large number of us signed a petition to allow refugees into this country. Now tonight people are kicking off and having a tantrum over one woman staying here with her family. Her severely disabled son would suffer immensely of she had to leave. Some of you need to give your heads a wobble.

I wish you all the best OP. I've signed your petition, I truly hope you get to stay. Flowers.


MissFitt68 · 11/10/2015 00:59

Will be hellish for those kids without their mum tho


Fairenuff · 11/10/2015 01:00

I think your solicitor has advised you very badly OP. You've put your dishonesty on social media now.


LunchpackOfNotreDame · 11/10/2015 01:01

The kids surely have dual nationality and can go with her?

I didn't sign any petition


GiddyOnZackHunt · 11/10/2015 01:01

Her choice though. How many Syrians chose to have their lives fucked over? Op should have sorted this out rather than lying.


Fairenuff · 11/10/2015 01:03

Now tonight people are kicking off and having a tantrum

Just a tad overdramatic there Grin


madwomanbackintheattic · 11/10/2015 01:03

Erm. How long do you get in the UK on a visitor's visa? I thought it was 6 months? No mention of traveling backwards and forwards to comply with the immigration requirements in the petition?

Op, I am confused. Which visa have you been living on in the UK on since 2012? If you have traveling backwards and forwards as suggested up thread, then your petition is a bit misleading, as you and your husband (and children) clearly have been managing for the timeframes you are out of the country. Your petition makes it sound as though you have been here constantly as a doting mother....

I don't want to sound unsympathetic. At 3, my third child wasn't walking or talking, and the hoops we had to jump through to emigrate were substantial. I know lots of couples who take extreme care to determine which immigration hoops they need to jump through in order to be able to get married and live together in whichever country is applicable. Some of these take a good couple of years to get set up. It's no fun. But they are responsible enough to investigate and understand the legal process, and are prepared to live apart in separate countries to fulfil the requirements while the paperwork goes through.

The difficulty here is that it sounds as though you are being disingenuous, and trying pull on people's heartstrings in order to shortcut the rules. Lots of us have disabled children. A fair amount of us are immigrants or emigrants from the UK. And most of us are sensible enough to understand the rules and follow them, or at least admit that we have fucked up. I'm not even sure if you have been in the country legally, as you are not really being open.

And having dealt with millions of bloody immigration lawyers in relation to our own case, I have never once had one suggest that I should just start a petition to emotionally blackmail the govt.

You are kind of right about the mn club aspect though - we have a great SN kids board that could have been a great support to you. It's a shame you didn't think to use it, instead of treating mn as an easily accessible service provider for petition names. You are still welcome. We're lovely.

Maybe tell us the real story, and we'll be able to offer some sensible advice that may be helpful. But don't just pitch up, want signatures, and get flouncy when you are asked some questions.

If it helps at all, I shortly have to apply for citizenship in my new country. There is a definitive chance that we will be refused (because of my youngest child's disability). We have always known this may happen, but have tried to ignore it. If it does, we are fucked. Grin but I know the rules. We'll be selling the house, giving up our jobs, pulling the kids out of school and getting on a plane. We have been here for six years legally. I don't even want to think about trying to integrate three kids, including one with a disability, into a different school and health system.

Hopefully you will choose to share the reality behind the story (yes, yes, Betty's is lovely blah blah) and get some support.


Jackie0 · 11/10/2015 01:09

" we are all mothers here"
No we aren't , don't be fooled by the name, we are people, all different sorts of people. Mothers don't have the monopoly on compassion anyway.
If your solicitor really advised the course of action I would be concerned. Can you get a second opinion?
This soliciting for names on a petition is making you look dodgy as hell.


NoisyOyster · 11/10/2015 01:10

Apply through the normal government channels as you're supposed to do Hmm

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