Need support in remaining in UK with my family. Can you help?

'It's cheaper all round for the uk to keep op here. With SN kids involved, who would care for them if she had to leave?'

Their father, Miss.

It might be missfitt but the system doesn't think that way. It's more black and white.

The reality is the visa should be sorted before you have 1 kid let alone a 2nd together.

I feel sorry for you yes but you have to take some blame too

And get your husband a 2nd job for 6 months and then apply

And? They didn't consider all this in the 5 years she was pinging back and forth? And before they had not one but two children?

expat he works

So he gives up working to become a carer to 3 DC.... And claim benefits

And how is he going to work expat?

He wont be able to so will have to quit, go on benefits and that family will cost the state a lot of money.

As it is, they get the same tax credits as everyone else, the OP doesnt work but she doesnt claim anything either. If she leaves that will mean Income Support, HB, CTB, CTC ./......

Lots of lone parents work, miss. He is also entitled to all benefits for his children.

They deliberately tried ot step round the rules and are doing so now. And that means it's getting harder and harder for everyone else who doesn't.

How do they manage for the 6 months of every year that the op has to go back to the US because that is the time limit on a visitor visa.

'It's cheaper all round for the uk to keep op here. With SN kids involved, who would care for them if she had to leave?'

Their father, Miss.

You've not read the petition have you Expat? You've not read that the OP has a disabled son who can not talk, whose only word is Mama and leads his mother to want he wants. It would be cruel to take his mother away from him.

Ohhhh so there's childcare available full time for a 15 year old with SN as well as a 3 year old with SN? Great. Yes. Let that Lone parent get on with it then

How is it supposed to work? He ups his hours or gets a second job to make the financial requirements.

And who cares for his severely disabled teenage son whilst he 'ups his hours' expat

Well, Miss, they knew that. They knew someone had to work or have resources to bring a non-EU national here to live. The rule changes are not new. But they chose to step round them and still doing this by abusing the visitor visa. So I won't be breaking out my violin.

Well yes expat which is what a lot of PP's have suggested.

We are simply pointing out that lack of joined up thinking on the part of the government when it comes to things like this. He must earn (say) £25k for her to stay. If he earns £24k she is deported and due to his childrens needs that can not be supported in normal childcare, he gives up his job, claims the raft of benefits, costing the government far far more than the £1k deficit between what he earns and what they demand he earns. Its ridiculous.

The little boy is completely dependant on his mother. He won't even let his father bath him or put him to bed.

I can not believe the attitude of some of the posters on here right now. This is a desperate woman trying to do all she can to keep her family together. She might not have gone about it the right or logical way but do you know what? Who cares? I don't. We'd probably all do the same in her position.

I have no idea, Miss, because she didn't tell us what support he had in place. There were five years to sort this out rather than plane hopping. It's expensive, that. Could have gone towards other things. But hey, rules apply to everyone else.

I had to go through all the hoops, pay all the visa fees, the ILR fees, all of it. It was expensive and stressful sometimes to navigate, but done now, as I have ILR. On one hand, I understand how worried the OP is, but I also am frustrated that they tried to circumvent the proper channels, which is why she and her family are in this situation now. It is people doing precisely what you've done that makes the government continually up the ante for those of us who want to live here from non EU countries.

A decent immigration solicitor could possibly get your ILR put through on humanitarian grounds.

But for heaven's sake, follow the rules from now on.

Spot on Fairy.

'If he earns £24k she is deported and due to his childrens needs that can not be supported in normal childcare, he gives up his job, claims the raft of benefits, costing the government far far more than the £1k deficit between what he earns and what they demand he earns. Its ridiculous.'

He already is, Bogey. He's a full-time carer from the sounds of it. And no, she's not deported, but denied the visa and has to re-apply.

The government's aims in this was to prevent people coming over and sitting on benefits. They increased the length of Leave to Remain, the requirements for ILR and naturalisation, the age at which you can bring a non-EU spouse to the UK, the rules surrounding marrying in the UK.

They made it a royal bitch for a lot of people because too many people were pisstaking . . .

Well it's good to see more are signing the petition and offering some support

There's a real person behind this screen you know. With young children as well as a dependant teen. She's messaged me privately and is very hurt by this thread.

She's maybe made mistakes but are we all so perfect that we haven't? Support costs nothing

Mumsnet at it's best hey

A mother comes on here asking for help to be allowed to stay with her two children and Husband and about 90% of the people on the thread are being so unkind and unsupportive.

Yes she should have done things differently in the first place, but have you so little empathy that you can't be arsed to write anything supportive! Hope you sleep well tonight after being so nasty!


I with you all the best OP and hope you're successful in being allowed to stay here

I think you need to stop being so snotty and take down the petition.

The time for stamping of feet and petitions is when you have ILR refused and have gone through the appeals process. I think you have been badly advised by your solicitor

The thing is, there are hundreds of desparate people trying to get into the uk and stay in the uk so they have to follow the procedures. If the Home Office allow one person to stay because of her children, then it sets the precedence and people can start having children as a means to staying.

OP should have applied before they had any children, when the earning threshold would have been lower, rather than risk being separated from them

OP was irresponsible in that respect. She and her dh had children full in the knowledge that they may not be able to stay together. What kind of parent does that?

Yeah, it's a fortune now, Alice. FLR used to be 1 year, and FREE, and you could marry on a visitor's visa. ILR was £150 and no test and you applied after 1 year. Then 11 months after that you could naturalise.

So when you came into the UK on multiple visitor stamps, what did you say when the Immigration Officer asked you what the purpose of your trip to the UK was?
If you said 'Holiday' then damn right you did something wrong. So don't play the innocent. You have repeatedly lied to the Immigration officials in order to gain admittance to the UK. You're doing voluntary work in contravention of your landing conditions. You have breached the law. You don't get special consideration because you got away with it.
Yes you're a parent but parenting involves making difficult decisions. It involves teaching your child to understand rules apply to them.
You've now put it out there on social media that you've been flouting Immigration rules for years.