Ivf refusal

[Rachelwhiskey]

Ladies I call to you all for help. I'm a 30yr old woman who is in a steady relationship, last year I got diagnosed with endometriosis quite severely and my Fallopian tubes are completely blocked, meaning the my only chance of having children is ivf, I got refused ivf on the nhs because my partner has a child by a previous marriage even though he does not live with us, the problem lies with me not him and according to the hospital I can not appeal my right to be a mother because he has a child. I believe the law on this to be wrong and I know there are a lot of people in the same position. I call on you all for help to get the law changed. If you could support my cause and sign my petition at www.gopetition.com/petitions/every-woman-has-the-right-to-be-a-mother.html I would much appreciate it. I have wanted nothing more than to be a parent please help me and many others like me. Thank you for taking the time to read this. Rachel

Does every child have a right to a parent? Would money be better spent on boosting the adoption rates?

(being controversial on purpose)

Rachael - I actually think it's very unfair to deny you treatment just because your partner has a child with someone else. That child has nothing to do with you (in a biological sense) and I really don't see the logic, you deserve to have a child of your own just as much as anyone. I absolutely think the law should be changed. How has your partner taken the news?

I think you have every reason to take this further, why should you have a chance to be a mother taken away from you because your partner and his ex have a child?!

Ridiculous.

Best of luck!

Agree with ww83.

Extremely unfair.

Are single people entitled to ivf? Could you just not mention your partner?

Devastated hence why we have contacted our local mp and started the petition to get the law changed. I'm so upset and angry because I feel that I can not have the right to be a mother just because he is a father

Peeapod - are you suggesting those with fertility problems should be pushed to adopt rather than give them a chance to conceive with treatment?

More funding for adoption would be brilliant, but adoption isn't suitable for everyone... And why should those needing fertility treatment lose out?

But then they'd fertilise her with a random man's donated sperm wouldn't they?

Yes ww83 they would use a sperm donor so it would not be our child

Anybody who wishes to support me can do so at the following link (www.gopetition.com/petitions/every-woman-has-the-right-to-be-a-mother.html) also I have added this link to Facebook and am getting a lot of signatures towards it, if you wish to share on fb you can also. Thank you all for your support

Isn't this a postcode lottery issue?

Dh and I were referred for ivf and I had a dd from a previous relationship. (Amazingly we found out we were naturally expecting ds the same day the ivf appointment came through!!) We are in South norfolk.

Peepod that was extremely "unhelpful".

OP, you might get more of a response on the Conception and Infertility boards. There are many folks over there going through IVF. I'm sorry for the position in which you find yourself. I agree that everyone (not just women) should have the opportunity to experience parenthood, if possible, and that the NHS should treat fertility problems as it treats other (non-life threatening) health problems.

Peepod I do agree men and women both for fertility I don't just mean it for women, and fairy lea I don't want money for it I think the law should be changed x

sorry. i belong to a world were I am allowed my opinion. Rightly or wrongly I do believe that those going through fertility treatment should be counseled through the other options available to them before going through such an invasive and horrendous procedure that isn't always guaranteed to work.

Adoption isn't for everyone, but I think everyone should consider it at least, especially those who are desperate for a child at 'any cost'.

What price genetics?

What a ridiculous law i cant believe they would refuse to help you have your own child just because your DP has a child from a previous relationship. i have signed your petition and i really hope you get to be a mummy soon

Thank you so so much firstbaby it is greatly appreciated

What do you mean, you don't want money for it OP? This is a financial issue.

Very best of luck for the future. I think you've got a very raw deal.

Peepod should everyone be counselled about adoption before they conceive or just us infertiles?

And frankly I would be astonished if anyone got to the stage of fertility treatment without being aware that other options exist and considering them. I've posted on the Conception board for several years and seen many people (including myself) ttc for several years before making the hard decision to move to assisted conception. I have not seen one poster make that decision lightly.

im not suggesting its a decision made lightly..

Is that "the law" though?

peeapod's point is completely irrelevant and should not derail your cause.

rachel Dh and I have child conceived with donor sperm and he is definitely our child.

Yes finances play a huge part in all this, I myself work very hard as does my partner, we can afford to save up for the ivf my argument is why should every person not be given the chance at being a parent before being forced to pay thousands. There are women and men out there who can not and never will be able to afford it. The law should be changed

So you're not campaigning for yourself, but for poorer couples in the same situation. Fair enough.

Good luck with the IVF.

Peeped, how many children ave you adopted?

Yes bemybebe it is, the minute you state that either of you have a child your automatically struck of without any further thought. That came straight from there mouths to. And cuddle fish I need to correct what I said I meant that the child would not biologically be our if from a sperm donor of course yes we class the child as ours any person with a heart would