Active discussions

Meet the Other Phone. A phone that grows with your child.

Meet the Other Phone.
A phone that grows with your child.

Buy now

Please or to access all these features

Talk
Pedants' corner
Original poster

We need the annual "teachers' howlers in reports" thread...

84 replies

UnquietDad · 03/07/2009 20:37

I'll start off...

My DD apparently has "a flare for storytelling."

It would be useful to know where she is hiding this distress rocket. It might come in useful.

OP posts:
oldspeckledtam · 04/07/2009 22:46

"Oldspeckledtam is good at environmental geography". Knowing I was useless at all things geographical, Mom queried it at parents evening. The teacher's response? "She looks out of the window a lot!"

I'm paranoid about anything I send home to parents and check everything! Touch wood, I've never had anything returned.

oldspeckledtam · 04/07/2009 22:46

"Oldspeckledtam is good at environmental geography". Knowing I was useless at all things geographical, Mom queried it at parents evening. The teacher's response? "She looks out of the window a lot!"

I'm paranoid about anything I send home to parents and check everything! Touch wood, I've never had anything returned.

DaisymooSteiner · 04/07/2009 22:46

LOL Rustybear, probably!

oldspeckledtam · 04/07/2009 22:48

Saying that, I did once write in a childs book, "Well done, Chloe, you are writing of the sentence"
No idea what I was trying to say.

merryandmad · 05/07/2009 07:20

1990
My brother's French teacher wrote in his report:
"X must first learn to speak English before he can master French"

RupertTheBear · 05/07/2009 07:59

My favourite 70s report comment which I have wanted to use for many children is "x is able but idle."
I always proof read my reports but a mistake gets past me every year. Ours go out tomorrow so I am waiting for the parents to tell me what the error has been this year.

goygoy · 05/07/2009 09:51

My DD (Reception class) had a comment in her homework book "well done, you must OF listened well" instead of "must have". Was tempted to correct it (with red pen of course!) and send it back.....

flatcapandpearls · 05/07/2009 10:18

I have been known to write x is able but idle in my reports over the past few years. I can't see the point in writing a report that does not tell the truth.

gingertoo · 05/07/2009 15:54

Ds2's report was fine until about half way through where it said 'Excellent work Jacob!'.
Ds2's name is not Jacob.....

Wonderstuff · 05/07/2009 17:58

We have to use a comment bank at my school. My niece recently won the 'Walk to School Award' at her primary. She lives about 3 miles away and gets driven in every day

When I was at secondary I go
'Wonderstuff is not as bright as she thinks she is' How rude!

soyabean · 05/07/2009 18:57

This is making me nervous - it's my first year teaching and I am good at spelling etc but am scared I was so relieved to get them done, that I may not have checked them enough! And I assumed they would be proofread by the office staff but it seems they may not be... fingers crossed

CrochetDiva · 05/07/2009 19:12

These are my favourite comments that I wrote this year:

"I am very concerned by X?s behaviour in class. Her continual disruptive behaviour not only prevents her from concentrating in class but at the same time disturbs her fellow pupils. This has led to her gross underachievement in French. She is totally disinterested and makes a great song and dance about being asked to attempt the smallest task. A radical overhaul in attitude would be of great benefit to X."

Z is an extremely able young man, who, I am afraid, is wasting his talents. His frequent disruptive behaviour not only prevents him from concentrating in class but at the same time disturbs his fellow pupils. What saddens me the most about this is that Z is a very able student, and could be achieving at the highest levels. A radical overhaul in attitude would be of great benefit to him. I look forward to seeing Z?s true potential next year.

Now I know it won't make the slightest bit of difference, but it made me feel better!

MamaHobgoblin · 05/07/2009 19:14

My mother was known to correct poor spelling in the teacher's comments in my exercise book, and send it back in with me... Surprised I managed to get out of school alive, really!

Littlefish · 05/07/2009 19:44

This year, I wrote something along the lines of...

X has perfected the art of talking and listening at the same time. Whilst this is a great talent, it has the unfortunate effect of interfering with his classmates' learning.

smartiejake · 05/07/2009 20:45

littlefish that is priceless!

samsonthecat · 05/07/2009 21:13

Littlefish that is fantastic I think I might use that one myself if you don't mind

CrochetDiva · 05/07/2009 21:17

Ooooh Littlefish - I like it!

Goblinchild · 05/07/2009 21:18

Crochetdiva, my inner teacher nerd would want to point out the difference between disinterested and uninterested.
Sorry...
< sneaks off to pedants' corner >

CrochetDiva · 05/07/2009 21:19

Thank you ... duly noted for next year's reports!

iamtrufflepig · 05/07/2009 21:20

It is part of my job to proof read these. The best one I have seen is "must make use of the dictionery" from an English teacher.

PortAndLemon · 05/07/2009 21:21

Shouldn't that be uninterested, CrochetDiva? Given that this is Pedants' Corner and we're discussing teachers' howlers and all...

CrochetDiva · 05/07/2009 21:21

Just to add though, that nobody - including the professional proof-readers school pays to check all of our reports - picked this up ...

Making excuses, me? And there's me, supposed to be a linguist!

SoupDragon · 05/07/2009 21:26

I think reports now are, in a way, more inventive than before. DS1's is always positive but, reading between the lines and knowing my own child, every one has managed to say that he is loud, opinionated and doesn't stop talking

TigersChick · 05/07/2009 21:43

Rofl @ these

Many years ago a collegue of my Mum's sent out many reports saying "He handles his equipment well" ... the double entendre was not pointed out until another collegue, who happened to have a child in the school, received her DS's report

Littlefish · 06/07/2009 07:25

Smartiejake - I was wondering just the other day how the festival had gone. I'm so glad it went well. Thanks for letting me know.

Samson - feel free to use it! I was rather pleased with it myself. I suspect the irony might be lost on the parent concerned, but I felt better for having written it!

Crotchetdiva thank you!