Constant incorrect use of the progressive tense for "to sit" and "to stand" is turning me into a monster

[applesauce1]

My professional background includes copy writing and teaching, although these issues can be traced back to childhood when I had form for occasionally (and very rudely) correcting the grammar of my friends' parents. I don't know what is wrong with me and I want to change.

I can't stop noticing the frequency with which people use the incorrect progressive form for "to sit" and "to stand". When I hear friends and colleagues say, "I was sat there" or, "He was stood at the bar", it completely distracts me from their anecdote. I start mentally musing that by using the passive form, it changes the meaning of the sentence. What a horrible dick I am.

I know that I need I let it go. I need to stop noticing. There was a recent thread about aeroplane seating that I struggled to read due to the constant mentions of, "I was sat".

I don't want to be this way. I'm not a teacher anymore. Of course, I would never bring this up with anyone, but I want to stop noticing altogether. I don't want to be this horrible person.

This isn't the only common mistake that irks me, but it has the greatest effect.

Please help me.

I can't help you - I am the same. I just scream to myself, inside my own head. I imagine people find grammatical 'assistance' pretty rich coming from a scouser, too, even though I speak correctly (with an accent many find appalling).
Embrace it. If we don't uphold standards, the world becomes unintelligible. I was also a teacher, once upon a time, and the poor English of some of my colleagues was both surprising and upsetting.

Ok so this will out me as being horribly undereducated.

But if I got up from my seat. Then returned to it and someone had taken it and said "sorry, I was sat there" in my head that doesn't sound wrong?

What should I say? "I was seated?" "In sat there"? Because "I sat there" is there wrong tense for that situation.

"That's my seat"?

"Was" can drive me mad if it's "we was" but doesn't annoy me in my example as I didn't know it was wrong

You can call it a "common mistake" if you want, but to many speakers of English, this is a dialect variation, not a mistake. ie some people use a slightly different form of English from Standard Received Pronunciation and Grammar.

You are hearing it more nowadays, not because more people are speaking incorrectly, but because more people are brave enough and confident enough to use their own dialects.

@CarrieFour I'd say "I was sitting there".

It hurts my ears too!

I hear you. There are spellings on here, twitter and everywhere that make me want to spoon my eyes out.

I am a twat.

So I remind myself that the important thing is that people are communicating and the content of the message is what's important, and then I think of how much of a dick I would be to post something.

Related, my own SPAG has shot downhill!

Every now and then, I close my eyes, think 'que, on route, ect' and silently scream. It helps.

CarrieFour - "I was sitting"

[quote BlackLambAndGreyFalcoln]@CarrieFour I'd say "I was sitting there".[/quote]
Ah yes. Ok now I get it.

Funny how normally I'm quite the pedant too but this one totally goes over my head.

Can take the girl out of London I guess.

The ones that get me are

"Haitch" for H

Brought/bought

And "should of" "could of"

And yes, I realise I'm a terrible person.

Are you my MIL, OP?

That one doesn't irritate me too much but the incorrect use of 'your' drives me nuts and I seriously judge people.

I hope your well! Argh!!!!

The one that drives me mad (and I don't think it's actually incorrect) is using gift as a verb instead of give. I see it everywhere

I gifted her the book - I gave her the book
It was gifted to me - it was given to me
I want to gift her something special - give her her something special.

Nothing wrong with it but it really grates on me. I wish it didn't.

We need a support group. For those of us who Can't. Let. It. Fucking. Go.

I mean, I wouldn't go on someone's thread and say "Actually, it's lose " but I think I could do with some help not to mentally roll my eyes.

I apologise to anyone who was triggered and now needs therapy for whatever mistakes I've made. That is not a pisstake. I feel your pain.

Borrow/lend as in 'would you borrow me that?'

Loose/lose (only happens in written form)

Go/went as in ' did you went there?'

Was/were 'we was there first'

Could care less instead of couldn't care less (again from across the pond)

Would of/have

I am beyond hope.

I don't think "I was sat there" is incorrect, but it doesn't necessarily have the same meaning as "I was sitting there". The former is a simple past tense in the passive voice, and could mean something like "I was made to sit there", implying a lack of agency on the part of the speaker. "Sit", like "stand", may be transitive or intransitive; however, note the intransitive verb "to seat" - "I was seated" is fine, but "I was seating" is not, unless used transitively, eg: "I was seating the guests in their allocated places".

I don't understand what you mean OP by "incorrect progressive form" as the examples you then give don't contain a progressive, correct or otherwise.

Current syntax theory recognises that the use of "I was sat" etc should be analysed as a simple adjectival verb use of "to be" rather than the passive that it looks like. Or, simply put, it's not an error, or a mistake.

With regards to "haitch", there was a very long and heated thread yesterday which I imagine was deleted due to the nasty "racist" undertones that always get thrown into the aitch/haitch debate. I know when I last looked at it a lot of the more virulent anti northern Irish posts had been reported.

@Wheresthebiffer2

You can call it a "common mistake" if you want, but to many speakers of English, this is a dialect variation, not a mistake. ie some people use a slightly different form of English from Standard Received Pronunciation and Grammar.

You are hearing it more nowadays, not because more people are speaking incorrectly, but because more people are brave enough and confident enough to use their own dialects.

Just because it's common in a dialect doesn't mean it's correct. Where I live "I done" and "I seen" are commonly used variants in our local dialect. They're still wrong.

While it's reasonable to use these dialect oddities when speaking, or other casual communication, I think correct grammar should be used when writing anything vaguely formal (e.g. emails, letters etc.).

There's a difference between dialect variation and incorrect usage.
Descriptive linguistics is your friend if you can't tell the difference.

It’s any more, not “anymore”, OP.

I’ll get my coat.

"Current syntax theory recognises that the use of "I was sat" etc should be analysed as a simple adjectival verb use of "to be" rather than the passive that it looks like."

I don't understand this. What's an adjectival use of "to be"? How could any adjectival be placed in the position "was" takes in this sentence?

I think what you meant is that "sat" functions as an adjective in this sentence. It's certainly true that past participles can often be used as adjectives, for example, "I was tired" or "the fallen women", but I'm not convinced that "sat" works like that. Note that you wouldn't say "the sat women", although "the seated women" is fine.

I don't know the terminology but I really struggle with reading "needs gone." Or needs cleaned or similar.

Also the present participle "sitting" can be an adjective, as in "the sitting MP"

I don't think "I was sat there" is incorrect, but it doesn't necessarily have the same meaning as "I was sitting there".

Spot on. My husband picked me up and physically placed me on the seat = “I was sat there”. And is perfectly correct.

This is the seat I was occupying until I left it to get a coffee = “I was sitting there”. Also perfectly correct, but has a different meaning.

@EasilyDeleted
The ‘gift’ thing drives me crazy too. Why can’t we just give people things.

I really struggle with reading "needs gone." Or needs cleaned or similar.

I've never come across this, but there's another recent thread about exactly that. It should be either "needs cleaning" or "needs to be cleaned", ie, needs can be followed by a gerund (cleaning), or an infinitive (to be), not a past participle (gone or cleaned).

One thing I’ve noticed recently but don’t know the name for:

People who say for example ‘I looked at her jealous’ instead of ‘jealously’

Also people who say ‘it’s really addicting’ instead of ‘addictive’.