Mispronounced words that drive you mad

[puds11]

Just overheard someone ordering an ‘expresso’

What mispronounced words drive you mad?

Definitely Pacific instead of specific, drives
Me mad.

The person who wrote privacy isn't pronounced pry-vacy, how is it pronounced because I've only ever heard it pronounced like that.

Jala-fucking-peno

THE J IS SILENT YOU FUCKWIT

(Actually it's a voiceless velar fricative if we're being pedants)

REEsearch instead of reSEARCH. Although it's possible both are right now.

could of instead of could have
my cousin says maintainance instead of maintenance
your instead of you're, mostly on text.
My son says timestables instead of timetable lol

@Greggers2017 privacy with the 'i' as in 'it (in British English).
Some of these are Americanisms.

Hearing someone point out someone else's 'wrong Pronunciation' will get me every time.

Oh -

And 'ek-cetera' for et cetera

Again not a mispronunciation but the use of ‘he did amazing’ grrrrr

Hallaloolia
Makes me feel stabby

Di-sect

Mispronounciation

Self-depreciating

And 'ek-cetera' for et cetera

Yes, and I think it must be this mispronunciation that makes people write 'ect' instead of 'etc' (because in their heads the c comes straight after the e sound).

Haitch instead of aitch.

@Palavah in 36 years living in both Yorkshire and the midlands I have never heard it pronounced that way 🤷‍♀️

Jala-fucking-penoTHE J IS SILENT YOU FUCKWIT

Is that not just an English pronunciation of a foreign word? We wouldn’t say that we were going on holiday to Euro Disney in Paree?

Pron-oun-ciation, of course. Especially when someone is complaining about someone else's mispron-oun-ciation!

Texed as the past participle of 'to text' - "I texed him earlier".

Paraletic, for someone who was really drink. It's 'paralytic', and unless they were physically incapable of movement, they definitely weren't. "He was running around absolutely paralytic"!

I cannot stand mischeev-i-ous. Grrr. Or chimley.

And, a very seasonal one, how many people have been bringing good tidings 'to you and your king' over the last few weeks?!

Two of my pet hates are

Mataland (rather than Matalan the shop)
paintent (instead of patent, the shiny shoe finish!)

The dictionary actually gives two definitions of paralytic

1. Paralysed
2. Extremely drunk

Pacifically instead of specifically! That really grips my shit! The Pacific is an ocean 🙈🙈🙈🙈🙈

I agree with axed! I axed him.... no you didn't.... you Asked him!

And in school..... can I lend a pen miss? No I already have a pen thank you... but do you need to borrow one?

Oh, I've thought of more.

Brought instead of bought.

Not a mispronunciation but people who get 'borrow' and 'lend' the wrong way round. "Can you borrow us a pen?" "Can I lend a ruler?"

Would you like a slither of cake?

Prostrate gland.

A change of tact.

Asterix instead of asterisk.

Drowned-ed.

The dictionary actually gives two definitions of paralytic

ONLY BECAUSE PEOPLE HAVE BEEN GETTING IT WRONG FOR SO LONG! 😉

And it's definitely not 'paraletic' which is what most people seem to say.

Arksed instead of asked..

My mother says Kor eyes oh for Chorizo - First time she said it I genuinely didn't know what she meant.. We then went out to dinner and she asked for the Chicken and Kor eyes oh Lingueeen (chorizo linguine).

Yesterday I heard "does anyone need the toilet why we're here"

I hope you did some light murdering after hearing that, @GiveHerHellFromUs.

(Excellent username btw.)

Iburofen

Though I have heard it could be a brand name of ibuprofen?

(I'm not really good enough to be in pedants corner, may I be a trainee?)

I know this isn't a mispronunciation, but when people say itch instead of scratch (though when I looked it up it did say it's used in casual speech)

"I've been itching that spot all day" when they mean they've been scratching the spot all day.

Sorry, I'll get my coat.

I have a friend who calls it ibrufen.

She also says cirtle instead of circle. It annoys me no end.