..."to all intensive purposes..."

[BelfastBloke]

Anyone notice this yesterday in a thread?

I kept waiting for a pedant to jump in, but you didn't.

What are some other comedy mishearings?

I have a friend who uses "eventually" when she means "finally". For example- "I've eventually had my hair cut after 6 months!!"

If the children in my class are playing a game against each other and it is, say, Bob versus Fred, they will say "Bob's versing Fred. I'm versing the winner!"

A friend's MIL proclaimed that she couldn't eat some sausages as they had too many "adjectives" in them (additives)!

Butter my pupils do that too - they also "vee" each other at football.

MIL has a friend who has "Alkheimer's", which I assume is a mixture of Alzheimer's and Al Qaida living in her attic, or something.

DH insists he's been shopping at Primart.

My dad very much enjoyed his holiday in "Singnapore".

Sigh.

ButterPopcorn, perhaps those are "not just Cumberland sausages; they are M&S Cumberland sausages, bursting with crisp and aromatic adjectives"

I am very unimpressed by these idiotic "versing" and "veeing" people, but a little saddened by "Alkheimer's", which could actually be a useful neologism: alcohol-intensified dementia!

"mute" point. Love it.

Apparently it's a good idea to air on the side of caution.

Hah this topic is brilliant.

I remember at Primary school a friend of mine was very upset she didn't get into choir and didn't know why... we were about 9 I guess... she sang me her audition song:

"Blah Blah Black Sheep" >.< even at 9 (old enough I would say to know the words, she didn't have a speech impediment) I knew telling her the truth would probably ruin our friendship, so I just said I had no idea why she didn't get in!

Great thread.

I'm noticing 'been' instead of 'being' and 'seen' instead of 'seeing' everywhere at the moment. E.g. "I had an early night, seen as I had to get up at 6am."

One of my friends wrote "Kay?" as a reply to a FB comment. I thought he meant "OK?" but it turned out he meant "Que?"

bless

(how patronising is that!?)

I have a friend who keeps on about the escape goat and I can't bring myself to correct her

'supposably' instead of 'supposedly'. Drives me completely nuts. I get holes in my tongue from not saying anything (not literal holes, comically exaggerated ones).

"There are tiles falling off the roof at a rate of noughts."

How fast is that, exactly?

Sounds like it's about the same speed as the speed of dark

Have to confess I've not read the entire thread yet, but is anyone else beginning to see "Ima" in place of "I am going to" (or, I suppose, "I'm gonna")?
I think it might be more of an American thing, but I loathe it! Almost as much as I loathe it when people berate grammar pedants, claiming it's not important. Don't bloody whine when you don't get called for job interviews then!

I find I am making more and more mistakes. This is not mistakes made by me you understand, it is the awful autocorrect on my mobile device. I find I often say "he'll" instead of "hell", and all sorts of embarrassing blunders. Grammar seems to be OK, but spelling becomes ridiculous, and if I'm typing really fast I don't notice until too late. Then I have to scurry away and hide in a hole.

I was invited to drinks and canopies.
Before a performance in aid of a dyslexia charity.

I've been invited for crudities

I hope they use the canopies to conceal the crudities from those of a delicate disposition

"Ima" is wannabe gangsta Eminem type speech, Whyis. :)

My MIL once referred to 'a 22 catch situation'!

my friend apparently had her dog spade yesterday....

Apparently you can put your spouse on a pedalstool.

Epic spell check fail today. Saw a letter about 'Asparagus Syndrome'.

I bet auto-correct did that

An ex colleague told me about some new perfume she bought - anus anus. It was Anais anais.