Fizz for parents appropriate at a 5 year olds soft play party

[TwinkleTwinkleX]

We are hosting a party for my daughter in reception at a local soft play with a party room and inviting the whole class. It will be in the afternoon and I’m wondering if it’s appropriate to bring some fizz for the adults or if that’s weird? Obviously not for a boozy one but to offer them a glass?

Some people really live in teeny tiny little worlds don’t they

Because alcohol isn't commonly served at children's parties in some areas? Bunch of bog people, aren't we?

Thats not what I said my darling. The fact people can’t see that not everyone is like them and it’s not a disgrace to have one glass of fizz ffs. But now you mention it 😂😂

You're so insightful. Get yourself on more threads, please. We need to know what it's like out there.

Ah thank you

There were times when it got to about 10:30 am and I could have really done with a glass of something to take the edge off.

10am and I have to drive home? Offer people a nice coffee.

My DC are both adults now, and all their parties were wt home, I didn’t offer alcohol ever, and there was never any at their friends parties either.

Just not necessary

I've offered / had offered fizz at hall and at-home parties but tbh never at a soft play party. I'm not sure the venue would allow it?!

There is one softplay place near me that I love taking my kids along to birthday parties at. It's a private hire softplay only and they include in the party package prosecco, beers, teas, coffees, canapés and pastries. It is definitely a softplay that feels "how the other half live!"

Never been done at any parties here. Nor has paying for tea and coffee.

If it's at a venue, I'd have had to have driven, I don't drink when driving.

If it's at someone's house then it's been drop and go, so no need for refreshments for the grown ups.

Yabu.
Alcohol at a kids party is weird. I went to at least fifty parties when my kids were little (almost every weekend, two kids with loads of mates) and never saw alcohol at any of them. Always soft drink, tea, coffee and biscuits.

Don't you people drive?

Having some sort of fizz/wine/beer is standard round my way (Edge of SW london). I have only served it at one soft play party myself - they charged corkage so were clearly set up for it!

Quite, especially when it's a trampoline place where kids from 0-18 are going wild and increasing the sweat to fresh air ratio 🤣🤣

I wonder if it's partly to do with London having a higher proportion of people from countries (eg mediterranean europe) that have a culture of moderate social drinking, and also children joining in with celebratory family dinners that are likely to go on late.

Here there's more of a night-binge culture with drinking, plus families are more likely to have a separate "children's teatime" and early bedtime rather than letting children join in at a big evening celebration.

I remember once on holiday in Greece, we were having dinner in a restaurant garden and it must have been at least 10pm, a big family were at a table and preschool age children were there playing around the table. The waiters were addressing the kids by name (in Greek) so they must have been regulars. Of course the adults were drinking wine, but no one was drunk or raucous, and grandparents were there too.

You just don't see that kind of thing at 10pm in a restaurant in the UK. It's arguably kind of a shame. I think that way of drinking moderately at social events with children sets them up to moderate their own social drinking in later life, rather than only in a night-binge way.

No doubt total abstinence is best of course. But this is the second best imo.

As long as you have checked that the venue allows it then I would say it is fine. I have attended child's birthday parties within London and also outside of the UK and most people either use public transport, walk or have a driver (only where we are now, not in the UK!) so it is not unusual to see alcohol being served to guests. Just ensure you also have some adult soft drinks too and offer to buy hot drinks from the cafe for those who would prefer it. Where I am now there is also a cultural expectation that the host feeds the parents as well as the children, chosen from a separate "adult party" menu, so now I see only buying drinks as a win win.

I suspect it's more to do with public transport being so much better in London than in many other parts of the UK and with children's play venues being within a city rather than stuck out in an industrial estate somewhere. No-one should be drinking and driving nowadays, so unless you're able to get to and from the venue by public transport you shouldn't be getting behind the wheel after a glass or 2 of fizz.

No this is not a thing I’ve ever seen at a kids party. My 2 kids bn at a lot of parties too. I’d find this quite a strange thing to offer a parent. Almost everyone is driving too.

Most are in venues so wld not be allowed anyway. In a church hall or similar most tell parents to u to help urself to a soft drink (can of fizzy stuff) at best. Bn to quite a few where was offered nothing and that’s fine too, not like I’m invited lol.

@sirchenjins yes it's definitely the public transport, I can get a bus outside my house straight to 2 x different soft plays, there's 3 others within a 2 mile radius and only one of which is not really convenient to go to via public transport. We are also less likely to have 2 cars, so one of us will drop parent and child at a party, take the other kid somewhere else and collect a couple of hours later.

Sure, but how does anyone outside London ever have a drink outside their own home? You might get a lift with someone else, car share, etc. Then everyone can have a drink except the designated driver. You make it work if the will is there.

I understand more people might have to say "no thanks, I'm driving" but the transport issue doesn't on its own explain the astonishment some people are expressing on here.

"WHAT?! Alcohol at a children's party omg so weird?! I have never seen that in all my years of parenting!" It's clearly cultural rather than just logistical.

I do often think London is like a little country within a country. And that isn’t meant in a derogatory way in the slightest (the opposite really!) but there does seem to be a London way and a rest of us way.

Yes I agree absolutely, and i think that's been the case going right back to dickensian times and earlier. It's so interesting which cultural norms are different within and outside London, stuff you might not expect.

I don't agree it's clearly cultural. For many, drinking in this way just isn't a thing - certainly not at a noisy soft play with kids running around. It's usually something you'd do at a meal or brunch where there's time to relax and chat, and that's when you would get a lift or taxi, or get the more limited public transport. It's also far more likely that children from outwith larger cities will live further away from each other - most parents will just drive to the soft play directly and build journey directly that into the usual chaos of a busy weekend day, rather than arranging lift shares and driving extra distances just so one of them can have a glass of fizz.

Surely you're agreeing with me here. Outside London this "just isn't a thing". Ie it is cultural. Within London, and in some other countries (i gave Greece as a possible example, I have also been to children's parties in France as a child) it is a thing.

In France and in Greece they also use cars. It isn't a logistical thing. Car use only prevents the driver from drinking.

My ILs live in a village up north. No one uses a car within the village, it's all walkable. They were just as astonished when I first offered them wine at my dc's first party, as some commenters on here.

Another aspect is the drop off thing - there are simply fewer adults at children's parties here (see also, my point above about expecting it to be grimly endured). In some other cultures, a child's birthday is something for everyone to celebrate, all generations, if you're going to celebrate it at all.

Sigh. As a teetotal person I have to say I would be a bit annoyed by this. To attend a young child’s soft play party - somewhere I’d assume people would drink tea or soft drinks and have a natter - and suddenly everyone but me is drinking alcohol. Great. Now I’m the only sober person watching the children.

It’s quite othering sometimes and I accept that there will be alcohol at adult events and pubs and restaurants and adult parties and awards nights and Christmas dos.. but does it also have to be at a 5 year olds birthday party?