Page 3 | Should I ininvite a child from my son's birthday party?

Roxymumoftwokids · 2024-12-04T21:44:57+00:00

Hi, I need a bit of advice please. My little boy's birthday is soon, he's in junior school. We invited around 15 kids to a local centre, the party costs £27 per child. I spoke to one of child's mum before we booked a place and mentioned that we are considering a party and once the place was booked, I felt compelled and invited her son. The problem is her child came to our place for a playdate lots of times, but they never invited my son to theirs. My son is crying now, saying that he is not a friend with that boy anymore and very upset that I invited him. They already replied confirming that he will attend the party. My son is crying saying it's his birthday party and he doesn't want that boy to attend. I don't know what to do. Should I uninvite the kid or leave things as they are?

Lindtnotlint · 13/12/2024 08:21

If serious bullying then depending on what happened it could be v sensible. Otherwise absolutely not - it’s cruel and also daft as it will accelerate a small tiff into a big deal as others have said. The play dates reciprocation thing is bonkers! Maybe they just have busy lives :-)

Missmarymack2 · 13/12/2024 10:32

MissRoseDurward · 12/12/2024 22:17

it’s common decency and taking other people’s feelings into account.

But not taking the birthday child's feelings ito account?

I would not allow my child to un-invite another child from a party unless there was a good reason.

But the child didn't invite him.

so You think it’s acceptable to send a parent a message saying sorry your child is uninvited because my 5 year old doesn’t want them there. How bad mannered and immature that would be.

coupebaby · 15/12/2024 00:59

mummahbythesea · 13/12/2024 04:31

It’s literally the definition of people pleasing. Doing something for someone else despite how you feel. Listen, you do you, but I wouldn’t be putting anyone else’s feelings before my child’s. That’s good enough reason for me.

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So if your child didn’t want another child at a party just because they decided they didn’t like them for absolutely no reason you’d be perfectly ok with that? I’m actually shocked at your attitude towards this. We are talking about. what, 5 years olds here is it? Are you one of those who invites the whole girl:boy group of the class and would happily leave one kid out? The nastiness in that is actually disgusting and I’ve seen so many posts from people about their kid been the only one left out, of a party invite and it’s usually because the bully or “leader” of the boy/girl group purposely done it. More often than not it’s because the child is shy or quiet or different in some way, perhaps autistic or ADHD so they’re isolated from the class by one or two “leaders” who the rest stupidly just go along with!! It’s usually not hard to see where these little kids get their nasty attitude from when parents are happy to leave kids out of a party without good reason other than their little darlings say so!! Thankfully in over 20 years of kids parties no parents in our school has ever left a child out. Funny thing is if it were your child the only one left out you’d be the first to be ranting and raving and rightly so because it’s just vile any adult would be so vindictive towards a child like that!!

mummahbythesea · 15/12/2024 08:05

coupebaby · 15/12/2024 00:59

So if your child didn’t want another child at a party just because they decided they didn’t like them for absolutely no reason you’d be perfectly ok with that? I’m actually shocked at your attitude towards this. We are talking about. what, 5 years olds here is it? Are you one of those who invites the whole girl:boy group of the class and would happily leave one kid out? The nastiness in that is actually disgusting and I’ve seen so many posts from people about their kid been the only one left out, of a party invite and it’s usually because the bully or “leader” of the boy/girl group purposely done it. More often than not it’s because the child is shy or quiet or different in some way, perhaps autistic or ADHD so they’re isolated from the class by one or two “leaders” who the rest stupidly just go along with!! It’s usually not hard to see where these little kids get their nasty attitude from when parents are happy to leave kids out of a party without good reason other than their little darlings say so!! Thankfully in over 20 years of kids parties no parents in our school has ever left a child out. Funny thing is if it were your child the only one left out you’d be the first to be ranting and raving and rightly so because it’s just vile any adult would be so vindictive towards a child like that!!

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You’re over analysing the post and adding way too many hypotheticals. The question was ‘should I uninvite a child?’. The poster explained that their child got so upset and didn’t want the other child to go. That’s good enough reason for me.

WannabeMathematician · 15/12/2024 08:15

Why did you feel compelled to invite the other boy in the first place? That’s really odd. Making a wrong assumption sure I can see that. But compelled? That’s an odd way to feel about it.

Boohoolol · 16/12/2024 21:09

FairCrow · 12/12/2024 07:30

There's sometimes a reason why playdates aren't reciprocated. For example, I have an only child and more time than my son's bf's mum, she works ft and is a single mum of 3. I give her a break when they are with me!
Anyway you can't uninvite, unless its a very specific reason like bullying.

Exactly!!! We have one child and a huge house. It’s easy for us to host a play date (in fact. It makes our lives easier). My son has friends who have multiple siblings and live in small flats: that they don’t invite him to theirs doesn’t bother me in the slightest t