Is it true that children have to pay for 50th wedding anniversary party AND anyone know a good private dining room or nice place for said party (if they are not fibbing )

[CountessDracula]

it is MIL & FIL 50th wedding anniversary party

Both SILs are skint and dh hopeless so of course it is down to me to organise and us to pay for (allegedly - or did they make this up)

So I think a nice private dining room lunch for extendedish family would be good.

Any recommendations?

Am going to tell skint SILs to start saving now as they have to pay for themselves at least.

It's my parents 50th in September. We live miles from them, so they are having their own "do" for extended family, but dh and I are probably paying for a holiday for them. (I am an only one).

dunno - but I'm going to use that one on my kids when the time comes!

I saw lovely video once of a french 50th wedding anniversary. The couple started the dancing with an umbrella (bear with me here). All the guests threw streamers at them, until you couldn't even see the couple. It was just this bobbing little haystack in the middle of the room. It was very romantic - like creating a little private space for them in the middle of the party to be together.

Never heard that one before. I suppose if they have been married 50 years then it could be assumed that the kids will have made it a bit and could comfortably afford a party. It should definitely not fall to you alone with your SILs not contributing. Is it a surprise party? If so, then I'd gauge exactly what sort of people your in-laws are as they may not thank you for a big party. Just a suggestion as we were planning on a wee do for FIL's 80th but he said he just wasn't up for it and at his age, it is his call.

Let me get this straight ....

your parents have organised their OWN party and then your skint SILs have decided that it is the done thing for children to pay for it and then said that they are skint????

Well we would have thrown a big bash as they are big bash types
But as MIL has been pretty ill over the last year I think a lunch for extended family might be best

We don't mind paying. They are great.

It's more that I wondered if they made it up!

Anyone been to the private room at Le Manoir?

no no
no-one has organised anyting yet
is in October

BUT
After their massive 40th wedding anniv. bash I remember them saying "ahh at least that is the last one we have to pay for, the children pay for the 50th"

And tbh I am happy to do it and for us to pay as we can afford it and SILs can't, I do think it is reasonable to get them to pay their own way though don't you think?

And OBV they will have a say in organising
it is their parents!

I've never heard of it as a tradition but it sounds like a thoughtful thing to do.

Family dinner sounds good.

Have never heard of it as a "rule" or tradition.

Sounds like a nice gesture if you can afford it though.

i'm sure they will expect something decent!
We are quite a party family IYKWIM

dh and his siblings organised surprise (ish) family dinner for his parents' 50th last year. No idea if it was expected of them or tradition (though they are big on tradition).... they all had a great time and did a private dining room in local lovely hotel/restaurant. Children all paid for it themselves, though I think some siblings paid more than others, according to their ability iyswim...

If you are hosting it and organising it I guess the onus is on you to pay.

When is it? Could you organise a garden party with catering to do a buffet? That would be cheaper than a sit down 3-course meal and drinks.

Yes orangina that sounds the sort of thing!

OK

So any recommendations?
They are in Sussex
NOT ockenden manor as they have had countless things there
London would be fine or other nearby place

it is end Oct so garden party out

Never heard of the kids paying myself...my parents should have celebrated their 50th last Oct and were planning a big bash, they certainly werent going to expect me and bro to pay for it (not with my los Edd being the same day)...sadly Dad didnt make it...But certainly if you are paying it isnt unreasonable to expect sils to pay for their own families. What sort of an expenditure were you thinking of? We were looking for somewhere for a christening and found the local masonic hall was a beautiful elegant building in manicured grounds with dining area and party/dance floored room and staffed bar at club prices that was free to hire as long as you used their caterers... which are very good and incredibly reasonable! Well worth looking up your local lodge and inquiring.

yes that looks nice
Acutally have just thought looking at the menu, I could get a lunch table at Gordon Ramsay, their set menu is £45 too!

No private room there though I think

this looks nice, anyone been?

cold?
You mean they didn't have the heating turned up enough?

It looks lovely

We went to a wedding years ago in a nice place in w sussex... god, am feeling exceptionally dim, will try to remember name....
(thumps head)