Please or to access all these features

Add post

Watch this thread

Save thread

Start a new thread

Flip thread

Hide thread

My feed

Active Unanswered threads

Getting started FAQ's

Unanswered threads Acronyms Talk guidelines

Hide shortcut buttons

Talk

Parties/celebrations

Whether you're planning a birthday or a hen do, you'll find plenty of ideas for your celebration on our Party forum.

Flip

1 2 3

Original poster

Well - if you were just at the birthday party with me - thanks so much for the most miserable 2 hours I've had in ages!

67 replies

Flamesparrow · 03/02/2007 16:57

So DD got her first pre-school party invite.

RL people I don't know scare me, but I knew I couldn't let that get in the way of her going, so I said she could go.

I went. I stayed. I tried smiling and saying hello to some of the other mums that were there (a lot dumped n ran), but I was just looked at and they wandered off to talk to their friends.

So I have spent 2 hours sat in more or less silence, apart from lady in hat who spoke to me in the last 5 mins.

I was even completely passed by when they were passing round grown up food!

I dressed nicely, I am clean, apart from a slightly terrified expression (turning to tearful by the end) I think I looked vaguely human.

I've come home feeling like I was picked last for gym.

It was a huge step for me to go there not knowing anyone, and I've come back dreading any more invites as the thought of another 2 hours like that makes me cry.

Is it really that hard to be friendly to an obviously nervous alone mother???

OP posts:

southeastastra · 03/02/2007 16:59

no it isn't and they sound really rude!

Original poster

Flamesparrow · 03/02/2007 17:04

I can't believe how upset I am by all this

OP posts:

southeastastra · 03/02/2007 17:04

please don't be too upset, i think it happens to alot of mums

franca70 · 03/02/2007 17:07

well, what can I say, that's more or less what happens to me.. and at least there was grown up food. actually, we should there be a difference between food for adults and children????
sorry you had such a hard time

Greensleeves · 03/02/2007 17:07

How horrible for you

I think we've all had experiences like this though, and although at the time it does make you feel like scooping up your children and going off to live in a cave in the mountains, it is the exception rather than the rule. Most people aren't as downright bloody rude as that.

Sorry you had a crap time.

franca70 · 03/02/2007 17:07

why, not we

DarrellRivers · 03/02/2007 17:07

I don't enjoy going to them, and I never know anyone to chat to so usually sit quietly
trying to look like I don't care.
Big hugs for you though

Gingerbear · 03/02/2007 17:07

I found this at the school gates at first.
I just started smiling , grinning like a loon at everyone and eventually managed to crack the silence by talking about little Johnnie and how good he was at so and so.

One off parties are hard though.

wotzsaname · 03/02/2007 17:08

so sorry you had a rubbish time. Hope your dd enjoyed herself. Take a book next time! FWIW not all are like that, please give it another go sometime.

Dottydot · 03/02/2007 17:09

Flamesparrow - that's happened to both me and dp when we've taken the boys to parties. I often see Dads bringing books or newspapers with them, which I think is a good idea! I think the thing is not to take it to heart - a lot of people just aren't good at socialising, or don't want to for whatever reason. Next time, take a really good book that you're dying to get stuck into, and sod's law loads of people will start talking to you!

JustUsTwo · 03/02/2007 17:10

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

tiredemma · 03/02/2007 17:10

I remember taking ds to aprty when he was 3. it was in one of those awful wacky warehouses and NOBODY spoke to me. I just sat like a lemon, alone.

I totally sympathise with you, its bloody awful and like being back at school- I felt an idiot for even attempting to make conversation with them

Next party I went to I took a book and sat and read. Stuff them.

Now Ds is at school I have found that people are more welcoming as you see them on a day to day basis more so.

School gates are very much how you described for the first few weeks.

Sobernow · 03/02/2007 17:11

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

TenaLady · 03/02/2007 17:11

Can I say, that you may have to make a little effort to make conversation to start the ball rolling. You know us Mums we will get wrapped up in our comfortable cliques.

I see a few mums in the playground who are so quiet and keep eye contact to a minimum that they really dont look like they want to be approached and of course they are not.

Try and paint on a smile and offer any help at the next one, you see, they will envelope you in to their pack as that lovely lady who was happy to help.

at mums that dump and go! They dont get invited to my parties next year.

Jelley · 03/02/2007 17:16

I saw the thread title and thought it might be you.

I've had similar. It's hard when the others all seem to know each other.
I'd agree that taking a book is the easiest option, then at least you are occupied, or have something to fall back on, if you are in the same position again.

They aren't all that bad, and after a few more parties, you will get to know the others just from seeing them at the same parties, and they suddenly become less scary.

FioFio · 03/02/2007 17:18

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn

tiredemma · 03/02/2007 17:19

if you decide to take a book flamesparrow- make sure its Jackie Collins or something equally as trashy. Give them something to 'chat' about.

SoupDragon · 03/02/2007 17:33

Did you forget to remove the pirate costume and second head that you have growing out of your left shoulder?

tiredemma · 03/02/2007 17:34

PMSL @ soupy

SoupDragon · 03/02/2007 17:36

Seriously though, I used to go to these things hoping no one would talk to me because I'd then be exected to make small talk. It's far far better now that DSs are at school because I know the parents and find it much easier to talk to them. I even consider some of them friends now

furcoatandnoknickers · 03/02/2007 17:36

some people are so horrid FS. Ill bet hyou looked like a FOX and they thought you were the sexy au-pair and couldnt talk to you
1 incase you didnt really speak the language
2 incase standing next to such a fox made them look too dull!!!!!!!!

Next time, try and imagine you are "acting" a really interesting gorgeous person, that every one naturally wants to talk to. So you are 'just playing the part' , sounds dumb, but it works.
Eventually it will come naturally and you wont be acting you will just BE.
Obviously dont tell wopping screamers, or youll never be able to morph into being you again!!!!

tiredemma · 03/02/2007 17:39

I must admit though- kind of like soupy says.

It appeared that I was confident and they didnt feel confident enough to strike up a conversation with me. Now at school, im treated like some kind of God because I go to Uni and work, Like ive been to the moon or something.

hercules1 · 03/02/2007 17:40

I've just come back from a party too where I knew anyone. It is difficult as everyone else knew someone but I did go up to some of dd's friends mums and make a few passing comments.

tiredemma · 03/02/2007 17:41

Sorry, ( what on earth is wrong with me today? I keep sending posts before i have finished)

Like soupy says- Over time you get to know them and make sort of pals with them.

pinkbubble · 03/02/2007 17:42

Next time just send DH!

Flip

1 2 3