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Parties/celebrations

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Original poster

If people don't RSVP to party invitation do you assume...

29 replies

Hayls · 25/01/2007 17:46

That they are coming or not? Driving me mad, dd's 3rd bday party on Sat and 10 of them haven't replied. They're mainly friends from nursery so I have no way of getting in touch with them and I'm unsure of how many to cater for... aargh

OP posts:
hana · 25/01/2007 17:47

i would ask them in the playground if you don't have numbers
is rude

GhostOfMumsnet · 25/01/2007 17:48

THey're not coming. That's an awful big number that haven't replied!!

gigglinggoblin · 25/01/2007 17:49

send out reminders with a mobile number on asking for rsvp by text. dont assume they will or wont come, you just dont know.

wurlywurly · 25/01/2007 17:50

i would always ask the ones that i see,

do find it annoying that people assume you know that they are or not coming.

cece · 25/01/2007 17:54

could the nursery helpers not ask them if they see them?

Original poster
Hayls · 25/01/2007 17:54

I can't ask them because I won't see them again before Sat- dd only goes to nursery on MOndays. (I also wouldn't actually recognise the parents ) I put my home phone number and email address and 10 people have already RSVPd so it's not that difficult! EVen if none of them turn up we will hopefully still have another 10 but it would be nuice to have a few more.
It does seem very rude to me but I suppose they might have lots of other things going on in their lives [trying to be generous]

OP posts:
hana · 25/01/2007 18:00

(you invited 10 people from nursery and your dd only goes one day a week?)

Original poster
Hayls · 25/01/2007 18:03

lol, she has only just cut her days down in the last couple of weeks and has done every combination of days/hours imaginable so knows EVERYBODY.

OP posts:
Original poster
Hayls · 25/01/2007 18:04

Also, she's in between 2 age groups so has friends from each one- nursery gave me the names of the children she played with most. It amounted to lots more than 10 but I cut it down!

OP posts:
Tommy · 25/01/2007 18:07

I always assume they are coming just in case they do appear so I have enough prizes, party bags etc.

Drives me mad though grrrrr....

Original poster
Hayls · 25/01/2007 18:12

YEs will have to assume they are but at the inevitable waste of food. Maybe I'm being too hasty and they'll all phone tonight! Mum says assume they'll turn up but others say they won't [baffled]

OP posts:
amidaiwish · 25/01/2007 18:13

hana - why is that surprising?

amidaiwish · 25/01/2007 18:13

btw i don't think they are coming... the invitation is probably still at the bottom of their LO's kit bag! annoying but true.

hana · 25/01/2007 18:18

just thought it was a lot of people for one day a week for 3 year old.
but hayls explained so makes sense

kookaburra · 25/01/2007 18:28

Totally sympathise here! As a veteran of parties, it never ceases to amaze me that people don't bother to reply - when DD1 was in reception I invited the whole class and sinply couldn't understand why a week later I had had no replies - especially difficult as did not know the parents - had to buttonhole them in the playground. If anything - it seems to get worse at school than nursery..Now I am used to it, don't take it personally and resigned to emailing a gentle reminder (sometimes the invites go astray, but usually not!). Often get a vague - oh yes - its on the calendar - like I should know that!!!!
Would suggest you call the nursery and ask them for the phone numbers, and phone round (or get them to ask the parents as they turn up.) Often, also, they say they are coming, then don't turn up on the day without any kind of explanation..
I also don't bother with thoguhtful party bafgs anymore - originallly put lots of effort into them, just try to make sure the kids that do turn up have a lovely time!!

Spidermama · 25/01/2007 18:33

Isn't it infuriating? In my experience people nearly always come to parties whether or not they have responded. I'd assume they're all coming if I were you.

jellyhead · 25/01/2007 18:51

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

Original poster
Hayls · 25/01/2007 18:59

jellyhead, that's incredible. MOst of those confirmed are my mates and their kids so I'm confident they'll show up. Based on the replies, either they'll definitely all come or definitely won't
I'm going to have to wait until tomorrow night to buy the food just incase I have a sudden influx of replies. And to think I thought hiring the COmmunity Centre so she could invite as many as she wanted would make things simpler! At least if I had it at home I'd have only invited a select few!

Dd has had a few invitations lately with a RSVP with a deadline, which I wish I had done now

OP posts:
LucyJu · 25/01/2007 19:17

I always used to work on the assumption that, if they hadn't replied, they ween't coming. Unfortunately, this went a bit wrong last year when, not only did some non-responders turn up, some (non-responders) even brought uninvited siblings along as well!
You might well get a couple of last minute replies. After that, maybe you could cater for half of those who haven't replied (assuming half are coming, and half aren't)and hope for the best. Bloody annoying, isn't it?

Flamesparrow · 25/01/2007 19:47

This has reminded me - must RSVP tomorrow.

gigglinggoblin · 25/01/2007 20:57

ds got invited to a party and was told only kids who rsvped got a party bag. you have no idea how much he pestered me to make sure i replied! would have done it anyway, but ingenious mother for thinking up that one

wurlywurly · 26/01/2007 11:34

ooh gonna have to remember that idea gigglinggoblin

jellyhead · 26/01/2007 11:50

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

hercules1 · 26/01/2007 11:52

Just remember that they might not have been at nursery to get the invite. DD and I have both been sick this week and off work and nursery. I am pretty sure she was due to get an invite at the start of teh week as someone asked dh her full name and said she was doing a party. No idea who as I dont go to nursery and dh didnt know whose parent she was. I just hope it wasnt this weekend.

paulaplumpbottom · 26/01/2007 17:01

Just assume they are coming. This is my pet peeve. Why do people do this???