Can I take dd2 to a party that dd1 has been invited to? (Thread #2345)

[oliveoil]

dd1 (4) has been invited to a party (for 5 yr old), do I ask the mum if dd2 (2) can go as well or is that a huge big no-no and faux pas?

Mum is acquaintance from playgroup, party in gym type place so hired, you don't pay for each child. Will mum feel 'obliged' and then slag me off?

I envisage tantrums and tears if dd2 can't go........

When the first invites started to come in I was still breast feeding the baby so couldn't leave him. So Daddy had to take him but he was happy to do so. Hubby is a 100% Dad and does everything once he is home from work. He oftens takes the older two out at the weekend so I can have time alone with the baby or go out shopping with him.

If you ask for your other child to come then the mum will probably feel obliged to say yes but be quite pissed off about it.

She would have invited your younger one if she wanted them there!

It is much easier to run a party for the same age group. Plus she will have to provide cake and a party bag for an extra one that will cost more.

Sorry but I think it is a faux pas and I would find it very rude if someone asked me this!

But what do you do if you have no one to mind your other kids?

I would find it hard to turn someone who was in a tight spot childcarewise down. You could also be in the same position someday. Its not rude.

paula perhaps you wouldn't find it rude - but I would! I think sorting out childcare is down to you. To make it somebody else's problem and expense is certainly rude in my book!

leave dd1 there

obvious and elegant solution there from the fish

it really isn't fair on dd1 to take dd2 to her party. it makes it look like dd2 is the better one in your eyes . you need to think abnout why you can't face dd2 having a strop. can you not plan to something with dd2 at home.

It just seems a bit petty, whats one more party bag. She is in a tight spot.

sorry I didn't realise there was no other option - in that case ask and explian the situation making a fuss of dd1 for sharing the party-

She is not in a tight spot. She just doesnt' want DD2 to strop.

Ok, so some people would find it rude, others wouldn't. You may find that dd1 gets fewer party invitations if you always insist that her younger sister must come along too. Do you insist dd2 always goes to dd1's playdates as well?

Regardless of whether it is rude, I think this is also a dodgy precedent to set for your kids. dd1 is entitled to have her own friends and not have dd2 tagging along everywhere she goes. dd2 needs to understand this too, but it can be a positive thing for dd2 as you could give her some 1 on 1 time to do her favourite things with mummy.

Would there be any truth in saying that you are putting what is most convenient for yourself before consideration to the party host or even - contentiously! - what is the best solution for the dds?

Sorry misunderstood thought she was in a tight spot. Still think its not a big deal, but would agree with Mousie that kids need their own friends.