I feel about thank yous for party gifts the way other people feel about party bags

[flack]

I don't mind party bags, but I know other people do.

So am I the only one that doesn't see the point of a little child writing thank you notes to his classmates for each gift they gve you at the party?

Because when my children get such a note, they barely look at it. They aren't interested no matter how pretty/sparkly/nicely written it is. I imagine all of their friends will be equally disinterested in any thank yous DS might send home from his party.

So I read it briefly, and throw it in the recycling bin.

Why isn't it okay for me as the adult to just go up to the adults in the playground and say thank you in person? Why do I have to write it out and strap DS down to sign his name ten times, when the other child probably won't read it and DS will turn blue at being made to write? When DS didn't really like half the gifts and he doesn't personally choose gifts for other children's party (if I tried that with him, he'd spend all the time trying to persuade me to buy X Y and Z for him for Christmas instead).

Why do I have to waste the paper with written thank yous?

It just strikes me as a silly habit.

Not talking about thank yous to relatives, that's totally different, just TYs to people who came to his party.

Zipping up my flack jacket and expecting to be shot down in flames...

I think it's more for the thanker than the thankee and it's also to thank the parent who actually bought the present.

I feel recognition of the act of giving is very important. I think it's rude when people don't acknowlege something someone has spent time, thought and money on.

Each to their own eh?

I hate party bags but am too cowerdly not to do them.

I tend to print something off the computer saying Thank you for coming to my party and I hope you had lots of fun and I usually put them in the party bags but I dont do thank you letters for school friends for presents.

As long as a thank you has been said at the time the gift has been given, that is sufficient surely? And that's my opinion despite the fact that I'm a stickler about thanking people for gifts received.

Mine rather likes making thank-you cards

I take pictures from the day - get them made into proper photos (9p each via Bonusprint online) - stick them into cards and dd puts glitter and stickers all over the borders.

I think that little children appreciate photos of their friends. And glitter.

It's just a good habit to get into.

i've just sat and written 15 thank you notes on behalf of dd who had her 1st birthday party last week!

i definately believe in writing thank yous to close family and friends. i even make my skids right their thank yous!

i think it's important for children to acknowledge the gift and appreciate the thought and effort that has gone into their receiving it.

it's also nice for the parents to get even if this kids aren't bothered about getting a thank you note.

mind you, ask me again in a few years when it's half the kids in dd's class LOL!

ps: I HATE party bags!

I just print them off the computer and DD signs it.

Think it is a polite thing to do.

Thing is, yes it's a bind, yes it's a pain BUT it instills in your child that it is polite to say thank you and when they are fifteen and Aunt Gladys sends them a tenner for their birthday and they automatically "know" they have to ring her or write and say thank you Aunt Gladys will send more the next year and say what darling children you raised.

Can you tell my DH's nieces and nephews P me right off for not saying thanks EVER for the money and gifts we constantly wade out for them and I think of them as ungrateful? I blame the parents (my SILs specifically) for not teaching 'em right and ensuring they have thanked us and all the other aunts and uncles that send them stuff.

ooh, you hit a nerve there I think!

And DS2, at least, does read them. He's received 2 this week which he's read out to me with some satisfaction.

I look on it as good handwriting practice (as well as good manners). I like the idea of the note in the party bag, though.

Good habit for them to get into and rude not to imo

Sittingbull, three of them are now over 18 so that's their lot. Three more to go! Sorry to say but they take after their mothers, who basically have no manners. Ooops, there I go again!

Oh and it was my DS's 5th birthday in September and one lot forgot completely. Nice.

I think if you've already said thank you for the gift to the person when they gave it to you, there's no need to then write a thank you note as well.

In the adult world, you would not send a "thank you for coming to my party" note but you might send a "thank you for the lovely party, I had a great time" note

As long as a thank you is said I don't think the notes are anything to worry about.I usually just check the kids have said thanks or that they phone people /write to those we don't see but friends at schoolwe just thank in person.

hi sorry to bump in, my son is having his birthday,he will be 4, any idea for party bags, what needs to go in party bags, pls help

because it teaches your child good manners

I am kinda new on here and I am curious, why do you guys hate party bags?

I think it's really important that a child who receives a present - from anyone - says 'thank you'. DS tends to open his present as soon as it is given, and says 'thank you' there and then , and I say 'thank you for the XYZ' to the parent when they collect thier child. So I wouldn't then consider a note necessary. But lots of children seem to have thier presents saved for later, and don't get a chance to say 'thank you'...so I can see the point of a note then.

Manners are disappearing down the Swannee fast enough without you being ungrateful for 'thank you' notes!

ooooh, yes we hate party bags! Full of tatt - or haribo or lollies, a pain to put together and find things for, encourages ungrateful snatching and whining 'where's the party bag' etc etc!!

Oh what a pity. I think putting together the party bags is the best bit. I wouldn't put Haribo in though. Yuck!

I'm not sure either, but I think the party bags thing is partly to do with a bit of rivalry about who gives the best ones and the fact that it's bloody expensive to go out and buy 15 little toys, pens and pencils, extra sweets, blah blah to go in the bags. And it's a pain in the arse going out actually looking for all that stuff.

If someone has been kind enough to spend money on a gift for your child, or yourself, it is only polite to write a thank you note. I show my son's to him from when he given a gift and he puts them in his bedroom.

When we do have a party I am going to give a book/sticker book instead of spending money on a bag of rubbish.

Party bags carry on because no one dare be the one to not do them and it is keeping up with the class, when probably most people don't want to do them. Most of it is awful sweets and tacky toys anyway.

flack, I agree. No thank you letters from us. I just used to make sure ds thanked them at the time.

I can't stand it if someone, who has thanked me in person, thinks it necessary to send me a letter too. I believed them the first time, I don't need it in writing, it isn't a legal contract. It introduces a formality that irritates me. And why is it that unpleasant things have to be said face to face (e.g. dumping someone) but nice things have to in writing? It defeats me.

Of course, I don't allow myself to take offence as I realise non is intended and I am weird and in the minority.