I feel about thank yous for party gifts the way other people feel about party bags

[flack]

I don't mind party bags, but I know other people do.

So am I the only one that doesn't see the point of a little child writing thank you notes to his classmates for each gift they gve you at the party?

Because when my children get such a note, they barely look at it. They aren't interested no matter how pretty/sparkly/nicely written it is. I imagine all of their friends will be equally disinterested in any thank yous DS might send home from his party.

So I read it briefly, and throw it in the recycling bin.

Why isn't it okay for me as the adult to just go up to the adults in the playground and say thank you in person? Why do I have to write it out and strap DS down to sign his name ten times, when the other child probably won't read it and DS will turn blue at being made to write? When DS didn't really like half the gifts and he doesn't personally choose gifts for other children's party (if I tried that with him, he'd spend all the time trying to persuade me to buy X Y and Z for him for Christmas instead).

Why do I have to waste the paper with written thank yous?

It just strikes me as a silly habit.

Not talking about thank yous to relatives, that's totally different, just TYs to people who came to his party.

Zipping up my flack jacket and expecting to be shot down in flames...

Oh, these cards were one of the things I didn't know about this culture when DS had his first birthday... and didn't realise about my lack f education until the mother of one of the invitees made her child write a letter to thank DS for inviting her to the party and making special reference to the gift

HOwever, I think they are perfect candidates for an ecological save-paper project, particularly when the birthday child doesn't know how to write/read.

I do them, but I hate them. I can see the point if the card is to thank an adult but to thank another child who, as my child, can't read or write... OTT.

oh bum, I thought I had deleted the first post....

Quite like your first post Chandra!

"It introduces a formality that irritates me" I very much agree with this, is as if the spontaneity of the relationship it's not enough.

The other day at work, there was everyone complaining about people who get cheap cards for colleagues birthdays, so one week later I spent an hour looking for a card because the ones I liked didn't have the tag price to make them acceptable. (I'm sort of a minimalist/photography inclined person, who hate cute cards). So, I ended up with something I hated, irritated at feeling the need of choosing price over appearance, and too tired to write something significative inside

What an odd thing for the people in your office to say? OK off topic now, but in our office, if it's your birthday, YOU bring in cakes, then everyone knows its your birthday, gathers round your desk to have a good stuff up and wish you many happy returns and nobody is under pressure.

Ok, granted, people do prefer the nice cakes from the patisserie than the Tescos doughnuts, but they're far to polite to say so.

I can't see why a thank you note is necessary if you have thanked the giver in person. Or in a phone call. Yes, Auntie Gladys may want a note when she hasn't actually seen the birthday child, but why send thank you cards to people you've already thanked once? How many times do you have to say it?

On the other hand, I love making up party bags.

A note is not neccessary if you thanked the giver in person.

BUT

If you thanked them before unwrapping and do not unwrap unitl a later date then you need to thank them again after the unwrapping. This does not need to be in writing however - but in the case of a child's birthday present you or your child should thank the parents as they are the ones who bought the present.

because it's important that your kids learn that they need to say thank you for gifts they have received, to show the other person that they are considering the OTHER person's feelings...it's one of the most basic social skills, showing this sort of empathy for others.

If he didn't like the gifts that's no reason not to appreciate the action of the person who bought the gift.

It's basic social skills they are learning when they do this, so I think worth pursuing for their own benefit.