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Parties/celebrations

Whether you're planning a birthday or a hen do, you'll find plenty of ideas for your celebration on our Party forum.

Original poster

Would you expect people to pay to attend your child's party?

63 replies

willthechangework · 22/06/2006 14:46

I've changed my name for this (I hope) as I would hate the other mother to identify me.

DS brought home an invitation from school on Monday to a child's party, the party is actually tobogganing in real snow in a new complex that has opened up.

The invite states that children will have to hire snow suits at the price of £5 per child. The complex is also a good 15 or so miles away and very few if any of the parents from the class drive, so it makes it quite difficult to get too.

This morning at the school gates the party mum, was going round the other partents asking if anyone would like to take part in the tobogganing and help out as she was worried about having a big group of 5/6 yr olds in case any of them were frightened/ not keen to take part.

However, she then said that it would only cos the helpers £15

She barely knew any of these people and was charging then to help out at her child's party.

Does anyone else thing this is quite rude??

OP posts:
KBear · 22/06/2006 15:00

Marina - your party sounds fab. What time do you want us?

Marina · 22/06/2006 15:02

Kbear! I am ashamed to admit it here but although I find it stressful I also enjoy doing ds' parties...

Blandmum · 22/06/2006 15:05

I think this is shockingly rude!

All the places round us let the parents of the attendees get in for free.

ScummyMummy · 22/06/2006 15:07

Definitely a mega cheek asking for payment, i'm afraid.
Marina- hope the lovely boy's party goes well. D & J did stencils and spray paint t shirt painting combined with rampaging madly about our flat for their last party and it was great!

yorkshirelass79 · 22/06/2006 15:10

Message withdrawn

ProfYaffle · 22/06/2006 15:12

£5 for a snowsuit wouldn't bother me hugely but £15 to help out! Bleedin' cheek!

mousiemousie · 22/06/2006 15:14

Ridiculous. Just don't go!

norah · 22/06/2006 15:21

Yep - outrageous ! Either she pays for the whole caboodle or if she can't afford to she shouldn't have booked it !

I'd be turning down the invitation I'm afraid !

Original poster
willthechangework · 22/06/2006 15:55

Sorry, had to go to school.

I have no objection to the £5 suit hire, even thought i think it makes the whole day out pretty expensive, by the time you add travel and a present. But I think asking people to help out and charge then for the privillage was a bit much.

I agree if you can't afford the party she should have picked something else, however, I do think it will be a good day out.

Any parties I have had I have roped friends/relatives in to help, I wouldn't ever ask strangers to help out then charge them.

OP posts:
Thomcat · 22/06/2006 16:00

Ridiculous.
If you can't afford to pay for everyone, which is fair enough, then don't do it as a kids party and arrange to go with a couple of mates and their kids instead ad have smaller party at home for general kids from school etc.

PrettyCandles · 22/06/2006 16:12

When we had ds's 5th birthday at a theatre, we paid for tickets for the children and told parents that they were welcome to come but would have to buy their own tickets if they wanted to watch the show. A few did, but then at the party part of the day they just sat around and chatted. I certainly wouldn't have expected them to help out with the party, not unless they felt like it.

IMO if you host a party you should pay for it. If you expect other parents to come and work, then you should pay for them too. Otherwise if they choose to pay they can choose whether to work too.

Miaou · 22/06/2006 16:15

I find kids' parties stressful anyway - as well as organising transport, there's the cost of a present to find. To then be asked to pay £5 would put it out of range of our budget entirely! And as someone has already remarked, it's the "only £15" comment that irks me - £15 is a hell of a lot of money to me!

Perhaps you should tell her that it's "only" the cost of hiring 3 suits

hunkermunker · 22/06/2006 16:20

Madness and v rude.

ROFL at pin the dagger on Maradona - has to be quote of the week, surely?

JanH · 22/06/2006 16:22

Why do they have to pay to hire warm clothes, even? At Tamworth Snowdome it just says wrap up warmly as you would in the winter. And as it's a long way away and many people don't drive she should provide transport too. Madwoman.

PrettyCandles · 22/06/2006 16:26

Perhaps the 'only' meant that the parent helpers would get a discount from the usual price. Nonetheless, I still think it's off.

Marina · 22/06/2006 17:28

I am SO going to win that one Hunker. I have a much longer memory than anyone else at that party
Dh and ds think I have od'ed on pinata contents...

LIZS · 22/06/2006 17:46

Obviously don't know where this is , but looking at the Xscape website for parties a £15 fee per helper seems OTT anyway and if she needs helper she should ask but at least offer to pay for those who actually sled with the kids . I would have thought the snowsuit is optional. Not the cheapeat of parties all round perhaps, and personally would feel quite offended to be expected to pay out on top of the usual presie and card.

Cam · 22/06/2006 17:56

No, no, no to people paying to attend your party, they're already paying in the form of a present for your child.

3LB · 22/06/2006 22:19

Definitely cheeky

Echo everyone else who said if she can't afford that kind of party have something else- that's what I would do- and have done. Also, if her child has asked for this kind of party, she should explain if it is to expensive, otherwise how do they learn the value of things? Ds has pointed out a wooden fort in ELC, or asked if we can go to "The 'Jorca" as his friend did, but I just said it's too many pennies, same applies to presents and parties IMO.

SSSandy · 22/06/2006 22:31

She's having a party to give HER child pleasure, so she can't ask people to pay anything to come along. If it's your party, you have to pay for the kids, including the suits if you ask me. She chose the venue although she knows the prices and must know that it's inconvenient to get to and also that she wouldn't have enough people to help. Nuts

I'd be tempted not to take dd but would relent in the end rather than have her miss out on something.

SSSandy · 22/06/2006 22:37

wonder if there's a lot of competitiveness with birthdays at your school?

sparklemagic · 22/06/2006 22:46

absolutely outrageous, attending a party should cost nothing except for the present of course!

I think this is kids parties gone mad, they'd enjoy jelly and ice cream and pass the parcel just as much if not more; this is for the pose value for the mother.

thewomanwhothoughtshewasahat · 22/06/2006 22:47

I think it's rude and ridiculous. kids that age enjoy any party, they don't need an exciting and expensive activity. the centre sounds like great fun but if I wanted to do that for a birthday I'd keep the numbers down to what I could afford to pay and manageable for me and dh and maybe rope a close friend in. It all sounds a bit ill-thought through to me

SecurMummy · 22/06/2006 22:52

dd recently went to a toboganning party, exactly the same details as below (in fact wonder if you arenear me?)!

However, the parent paid for everything because it was the party she had chosen to give her daughter - which is the right thing IMHO!

sunnydelight · 22/06/2006 22:53

Totally out of order. If I host a kids party I expect to cover all costs. I choose what I can afford.