Active discussions

Meet the Other Phone. Flexible and made to last.

Meet the Other Phone.
Flexible and made to last.

Buy now

Please or to access all these features

Talk
Parties/celebrations

Whether you're planning a birthday or a hen do, you'll find plenty of ideas for your celebration on our Party forum.

Original poster

bl&^$%y dh has banned christmas

29 replies

stitchcantthinkofgoodxmassname · 09/12/2005 19:17

he says we are not english. so he doesnt want a christmas tree in 'his' house.

git git git

the kids have been making decorations for ages. really looking forward to it. so have i.

git git git

OP posts:
Auntybrandybutter · 09/12/2005 19:17

put one up anyway!

Curmudgeonlett · 09/12/2005 19:18

being english has bugger all to do with it though .. being pagan or christian might

I find simply liking glittery things is enough reason

would laugh my bum off if DH tried to ban something tbh

fuzzywuzzy · 09/12/2005 19:18

rather curious, is it just this year he has banned it, where he previous joined in the festivities???

Original poster
stitchcantthinkofgoodxmassname · 09/12/2005 19:19

exactly.
even being chrisstian has nothing to do withhhit.
since when did the have evergreen trees in bethlehem?
he's just a git.

OP posts:
Eaney · 09/12/2005 19:19

Yeah I think the christmas tree has something to do with thepagan winter festival which was hijacked by Christians.

charlietherednosedpussy · 09/12/2005 19:20

tell him your having a winter tree then...he cant argue with that

Original poster
stitchcantthinkofgoodxmassname · 09/12/2005 19:20

well, last year he didnt want to get one either, and i agreed with him as i thought the kids were just being too consumerist/material. they had had lots of pressies at eid, and were expecting more for christmas, and the eid after.
but the year before that we had a real one.
and the years before that we had a lovely fibre optic one

OP posts:
Eaney · 09/12/2005 19:22

history of christmas tree

Original poster
stitchcantthinkofgoodxmassname · 09/12/2005 19:22

he can be really really spiteful. and evil

i think will give it another week so hopefully the decorating will mean the room is in some semblance of order. then get one
only question is, will i be able to cope with the aftermath.

OP posts:
PeachyPlumFairy · 09/12/2005 19:34

christmas trees are German right, brought over by Prince Albert? Or do I remember wrong?

I'd bloody ignore him, but I'm an antagonistic cow at times

PeachyPlumFairy · 09/12/2005 19:34

Hang on.... he can be really spiteful and evil?

Don't get a tree, get a new partner

(Peachy has a migraine and is being too blunt today, sorry for any offence caused )

Blandmum · 09/12/2005 19:36

I'm not english, neither is dh. I'm welsh and he is scottish but we still have a tree.

Why doesn't he want one?

If I lived abroad I think I'd want my kids to enjoy the local celibrations.

Friends of mine are american, but still took to Guy Fawkes with a verve.

Is it a religious thing? Cos the tree isn't Christian, that is for sure

Blandmum · 09/12/2005 19:37

sorry, missed your post about eid.

Nightynight · 09/12/2005 19:39

oh stitch. Been there myself, esp with the "not English" stuff. dx claims to hate all festivals, so no excuse for any sort of Christmas stuff for any reason.
Starts to talk about poverty in the 3rd world if I want to cook a turkey.
Made a huge scene at Halloween when he caught us carving a pumpkin.
We have had a Christmas tree in the past, but have to put up with the withering comments.

I was always completely hopeless at getting dx to come round to my pov, so do not feel qualified to give any advice

Is it your first Christmas together, or was he different last year? Does he have problems with other aspects of English life or just this one? Is he reacting against conspicuous consumption?

Nightynight · 09/12/2005 19:42

sorry missed your post about last Christmas.
Hmm, if he thinks they have too many pressies, why not limit to just stockings?

fuzzywuzzy · 09/12/2005 19:45

I think the issue is more about your dh tbh than any cultural/religious aspect of the festival.... Hope I don't offend you but you really do not sound happy with your dh....

PeachyPlumFairy · 09/12/2005 19:51

Christmas is about creating memories. A close friend of mine (she's older obv.) lost her grown up son a few years ago after he killed herself. She can't 'do' Christmas any more as it isn't the same without her Son and she can't bear to form new Christmas memories. That's terribly sad, but it also reminds me that none of us are immortal and that if I went tomorrow, my kids would have a few years of great loving Christmases to remember. That's worth so much.

Of course, it doesn't matter WHAT the memories are- Chruistmas, holidays, Ramadan, Pesach- but creating memories of Daddy not letting them have fun is a no no, to me anyway. Count your blessing, grab them and enjoy every excuse for making them happy.

Pinotmum · 09/12/2005 20:25

I can sympathise. My dd's friend cannot take part in the Infants Nativity play because her family don't celebrate Christmas. The play actually features more about the history of the Christmas tree than the actual nativity scene. My dd says her friend is sad to have to sit out of rehearsals. I can honestly say I would not stop my child from taking part in a Diwali or Eid Assembly (which the school does) so I find it hard to understand this stance. Are your children upset?

Glitterygook · 09/12/2005 20:27

Oooooooooooooooh, can't comment

Blandmum · 09/12/2005 20:40

thinking about it this year my ds has celibrated Eid, Divali and Sukkoth in his school, along with the nativity play. I like that, we live in a diverse society and I'm glad my son has celibrated along with his mates. And it is a C of E school

SenoraPostrophe · 09/12/2005 20:49

the good thing about living in a country that has a different culture is that you get two lots of celebrations.

I wouldn't dream of not having a UK-style christmas day, but we will also go out xmas eve (if anyone invites us), and celebrate new year and epiphany the Spanish way.

now i could see where your dh was coming from if you were talking about not celebrating eid, but really - who wouldn't want to have a tree, get drunk and play charades?

Nightynight · 09/12/2005 21:01

er, getting drunk is not part of Christmas in our house!

Can see where they are coming from in a way, as a UK Christmas is pretty scary to outsiders. TV is sordid, supermarkets awash with consumables and special offers on loo paper, over-indulgence is feted etc

BadHair · 09/12/2005 21:09

My dp is english, from trad uk christian background, and still hates christmas. Nothing to do with overbearing consumerism, he just hates having to do anything out of the ordinary. Left to himself he would ignore the whole thing - including father christmas.
He goes along with me putting up tree, buying pressies etc, but I dread to think what it would be like in this house if I wasn't around.

Original poster
stitchcantthinkofgoodxmassname · 10/12/2005 08:28

thankyou all for your lovley supportive posts.
as you probly know, i have loads of problems with dh.
i have emailed him the link. lets hope he actually reads it.
he was born in this country. as were the kids. they are what i would call third generation. i am th eone who isnt english. a couple of years ago i thought it best not to send ds1 to the church for the harvest festival thing. as did his teacher. but dh said that singing a few hymns never hurt anyone. so off ds went.
i think its just coz he wants to be contrary to me.
thing is, christmas is mine. i do what i want to. at least in my mind. eid is his. we have to go to his moms and do what he wants. he banned the kids going trick or treating.. coz he said it was begging. something they were all really upset about.
and yes, the kids are growing up with memories of dh saying no to everything.

OP posts:
bobbybobbobbingalong · 10/12/2005 08:40

My dad banned bonfire night because he had had to tell people their children were horribly burnt or dead so many times. Fair enough.

But it's a tree, unless you get dodgy lights it can't hurt anyone.