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Parties/celebrations

Whether you're planning a birthday or a hen do, you'll find plenty of ideas for your celebration on our Party forum.

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Original poster

How to say "no presents" on invite?

54 replies

doodleboo · 27/02/2011 16:39

We're inviting the whole class to DS's party in a couple of weeks - what is the best way to say "no presents thank you" on the invite?

Don't want to sound rude! Thank you :)

OP posts:

chicaguapa · 27/02/2011 16:45

Just explain why you don't want any presents. I think if you try to be brief, it maybe could come across as rude.

nikki1978 · 27/02/2011 16:46

Hard one as it makes it sound like you think everyone else is materialistic for not saying 'no presents'. Why do you want no presents?

tooposh · 27/02/2011 16:48

Hmmm...usual for a fiftieth, say, but odd for a child's birthday - you are depriving the other children of the chance to take pleasure from giving. A friend of min did this soon after her sister's death (which was awful) as present giving all seemed so trivial and pointless to her at that time of grief, but I am not sure her 7 year old fully understood or appreciated her gesture. Are you worried about being left with tat?

southeastastra · 27/02/2011 16:49

aw your son will wonder where his pressies are won't he?

AimingForSerenity · 27/02/2011 16:49

Know it's slightly different for children than for adults but we put a note on invites to DHs 50th saying "We want your presence NOT your presents" and everybody was fine with it.

said · 27/02/2011 16:51

Was just about to post what AimingforSerenity said. Cheesy but effective.

readinginsteadnow · 27/02/2011 16:53

I always feel bad that people might feel obliged -as you do when you get an invite - so always when they ask what he's into, I make it quite clear that he wants to have fun with his friends, not get tons of stuff. But then he gets things anyway, which is all part of a bday for a little one, like it or not (that and party bags!!). But I do find we get less crap as they get older! This refers to ds2; ds1 just celebrates with close friends now, who would buy him something if he had a party or not.

DuplicitousBitch · 27/02/2011 16:54

just let them bring presents

said · 27/02/2011 16:54

If it's because you don't want 30 little presents you could just say something about if you really want to give a present, a £5 voucher from a, b, or c would suffice. That happened recently at a whole class party. Thought it was a good practical solution

Original poster

doodleboo · 27/02/2011 17:20

Not worried about or snobby about tat at all, and i love a party bag! That's why i asked - i was worried about seeming snooty. DS has a big big family and will be thoroughly spoilt for presents.

I don't want people to feel obliged to bring a gift and DS just wants a party. We are in reception year and don't know the rest of the class very well, there are no close friendships yet. If it were people we knew well it wouldn't occur to me to say it at all.

Also we won't have time to open presents and say thanks properly at the party, and if you give a present it should be opened with you there i think? If practical obviously!

How about "no present necessary, just come and have fun!" or something? I 100% promise i am in no way depriving DS or being snobby!

OP posts:

readinginsteadnow · 27/02/2011 17:24

Very bad ettiquette to open presents at the party anyway, so I wouldnt worry about not having time! At this age kids loving giving and receiving, it just gets daft when parents try to outdo each other, as I've seen happen in the past. I have a strict £5 budget for party gifts, but then I always shop in the sales, so get nice stuff

DrRichandNimble · 27/02/2011 17:24

How about not mentioning presents at all but then donating them all to a local childrens charity/hospice.

readinginsteadnow · 27/02/2011 17:26

Yeah ,that'll work All those parents you dont know well. That would look far more ungrateful than specifying no presents on the invitation!

Pagwatch · 27/02/2011 17:26

No, in my experience of three children through to 17 children never open presents at the party. Not a whole class party for sure.

Don't tell people not to bring presents, some parents like to help their child chose a party gift.
But adding a note say 'ds is really looking forward to seeing you there. We are not expecting gifts, we just want everyone to come and have fun.'
You may well find that parents call to ask what ds likes so you can also mention it there.

Don't tell them to send gift vouchers instead.

readinginsteadnow · 27/02/2011 17:27

I think if you phrase it how you suggested, its going to make it harder for the parents; they'll alla be wondering if they will be the only ones that didnt bother. And reception kids love knowing who gave them what, and who to do their thank you letters for.

libelulle · 27/02/2011 17:28

I think writing 'no presents' on the invite is absolutely fine! Got invite like this recently for a joint 2nd birthday party for two little boys and thought 'how sensible' - it was a huuge party and can quite see why they didn't want to end up with 40 random presents each. Saved me some trouble too

belgo · 27/02/2011 17:28

I really wouldn't put anything on the invite about presents. Let parents decide for themselves.

readinginsteadnow · 27/02/2011 17:29

I agrre with Pag, dont ask for vouchers. If we did that with our circles of kids, I'd have to get a £10 voucher each time to be on target pricewise; instead , my fiver gets a £10 present from the sales.

Original poster

doodleboo · 27/02/2011 17:29

This is much harder than i expected!

OP posts:

chimchar · 27/02/2011 17:30

A mum i'n my lids school started a brilliant trend. She said on a little extra piece of paper something along the lines of 'if you would like to bring a present to my party, a £1 coin in a card would be lovely so I can buy one big present from all of my friends!'

It works well and has taken off all over school!

It's feels nicer than not taking a pressie at all, even if you have been asked not to!

readinginsteadnow · 27/02/2011 17:30

Altho I heard from a parent of a slightly older child recently that the going rate is £15 cash

said · 27/02/2011 17:30

To be fair, the gift vouchers party was for a joint party for 3 kids.

chimchar · 27/02/2011 17:32

My kids school, not lids (bin lids? Kids i'n rhyming slang?! )

BooyFuckingHoo · 27/02/2011 17:33

on my dcs' invites i just say that no presents are necessary but that i am making a donation to X children's hospital/charity and if they wish to contribute they are more than welcome to. it has worked very well both times and everyone thought it was a great idea.

Pagwatch · 27/02/2011 17:33

It is difficult. Because however you phrase it there will be people who think that you are either saying
" we have so much stuff we just can't cope with anymore darling"
Or
" you are going to give my child shit and I can't be bothered to even store it"

That is why I let people give dd gifts and am unfailing charmed, delighted and grateful.

When you tell people they could not give you anything that youbeither want or need then some will be offended. However well intentioned.

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