Page 4 | Your children have left but their stuff hasn’t!

Heatherweather77 · 2026-01-22T00:18:17+00:00

Perhaps this should be in housekeeping but thought others on here may be able to offer practical advice please? My house is drowning in my adult DDs’ old clothes, books, possessions. My house desperately needs sorting out! They say they will come and help declutter their stuff, but I have been waiting for two years. They will help with the odd item like a coat or a piece of luggage but as for the rest, I need several days with each of them, anf they are never available; there is always some excuse such as they are sitting exams, or travelling, or have something better to do! What do you do in these circumstances? Is it ok to take the bull by the horns and go through every piece of clothing, box, bag, book of theirs and make the decisions to chuck them out or keep unilaterally? Or not?

Zanatdy · 23/01/2026 20:41

Give a deadline and then start doing it.

busybusybusy2015 · 22/02/2026 20:31

Heatherweather77 · 22/01/2026 13:45

I like your stick and carrot approach Daisy12Maisie thank you!* *

And thank you to everyone for sharing their different solutions.

I sort of guessed that I would have to project manage it all.

I have to confess to being slightly resentful of this as we are a family of fully functioning adults who all work or study but my dh and I no longer have the same energy reserves or number of holidays as our offspring 😃😆

Plus I am no domestic goddess but even for me it’s become a bit of an eyesore.

I will contact them again to say the situation is getting out of hand and can I have their permission to start tackling a few things. I think I will start with the areas outside of their bedrooms and work my way back!

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Good luck. I found stuff of my mine in my parents' loft after they died! Please don't ask their permission to box up anything of theirs that's outside their bedrooms: it is your house and they're taking your space. And don't waste money on plastic crates, just stick it all in cardboard boxes and pile it up in their rooms. Their rooms are, for the time being, theirs. And that's where their stuff lives.

Original poster

Heatherweather77 · 23/02/2026 14:52

busybusybusy2015 · 22/02/2026 20:31

Good luck. I found stuff of my mine in my parents' loft after they died! Please don't ask their permission to box up anything of theirs that's outside their bedrooms: it is your house and they're taking your space. And don't waste money on plastic crates, just stick it all in cardboard boxes and pile it up in their rooms. Their rooms are, for the time being, theirs. And that's where their stuff lives.

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Thank you for your support busybusybusy2015

I do need to be more assertive about it all!

Unfortunately my dh had a family emergency over Christmas that is taking a lot of time to resolve and we now have two long-term guests so I will only be able to start properly mid-March now, which is extremely frustrating!

OP posts:

Nofeckingway · 23/02/2026 16:13

I went through my DDs things with her permission of course. Through away things that were clearly rubbish . Bagged up clothes that no longer fit . Sheets , towels etc were my call . Hair products, etc. in one box .

Then had a video call . I held up items and she had to give yes or no answers . Now there is a small amount of things she uses when she visits and she took the rest when I loaded her car . Took her a week to sort the car !
Secret to decluttering is to make quick decisions. Yes, no, maybe. But maybe has to be gone back to immediately. Sometimes it's a try on coat , etc or sometimes you know it's a duplicate. Unless you know exactly where a missing part is , it goes out.
Good luck as it feels great when it's done.

Original poster

Heatherweather77 · 23/02/2026 18:20

Nofeckingway · 23/02/2026 16:13

I went through my DDs things with her permission of course. Through away things that were clearly rubbish . Bagged up clothes that no longer fit . Sheets , towels etc were my call . Hair products, etc. in one box .

Then had a video call . I held up items and she had to give yes or no answers . Now there is a small amount of things she uses when she visits and she took the rest when I loaded her car . Took her a week to sort the car !
Secret to decluttering is to make quick decisions. Yes, no, maybe. But maybe has to be gone back to immediately. Sometimes it's a try on coat , etc or sometimes you know it's a duplicate. Unless you know exactly where a missing part is , it goes out.
Good luck as it feels great when it's done.

Thank you for all of these very useful tips which I will be using shortly!

OP posts: