Would you totally support DC(23) to set up in an arts career if you could afford it?

[CornflakeMum]

Interested to know views, as DH and I differ slightly. This may be as we have different family experiences!

DC(23) is pursuing a performing arts career. Has done training and is now getting established. Living at home, with us currently supporting by paying food etc, not charging rent, but not paying them any allowance any more. They are currently running down savings from previous work for their gym/ going out etc.

It's an industry where you have to invest a lot of time and effort in the early years, often for no (unpaid) or little return. The more time and effort you can put in, the more you are likely to be successful/ make useful contacts etc. Also you're expected to 'make your own work' i.e. your own shows and films etc.

Most actors need to have day/ 'survival' jobs in bars/ shops/call centres, but of course any time spent doing that is time NOT spent investing in their chosen career, makes auditioning hard etc, so the likelihood of success reduces. This is basically why it's so hard for working class actors to break through.

So, if as a parent, you were in the extremely fortunate position to 'fund' your DC for e.g. three years, to get the best possible start to their career, would you?

Or would you insist that they get a 'day job' for at least some of the time? Why?

@CornflakeMum I'd be worried that industry is incredibly parastic and abusive. If you think they're grounded and you can do it then OK but as long as there's a clear plan and point you pivot.

I’d insist on them trying to get a “day job”. I’d be happy to subsidise living costs, that’s not the issue, but - being brutal - most people aren’t going to “make it” in performing arts, however talented they may be. Chances are it won’t work out for them, so they need to have something on their CV for when they decide they need to move on to do something else and keep the performing arts as a hobby.

I probably wouldn’t phrase it QUITE like that to them, though!

I think a lot depends on their motivation. If they are desperate to do the course and will earn some money as they are going along, I would say yes. IF you can afford to. My daughter did an Arts degree in Covid, which was awful, as she had hardly any contact time and lost her work placement. Four years later she decided to train as an Art and Design teacher, so she could use her skills. We paid for the fees for that year, as she already has a huge student debt from her degree. Glad to say she loves teaching and has finally found the career for her.

If I could fund it yes, of course. Arts in general is such a competitive industry, I only know one person who made it without substantial support (and even that is debatable, she’s an only child and although not rich and no connections, the parents could afford to help her relocate, intern, etc).

I wouldn’t

“So, if as a parent, you were in the extremely fortunate position to 'fund' your DC for e.g. three years, to get the best possible start to their career, would you?”

No. I would insist they get a job, even a part-time one, else you run the risk of having a cocklodger for your son. I be appreciate it’s difficult to go to auditions if you’re constrained by a day job, so maybe evening work would work.

What does your dc anticipate they’ll be doing all day? Auditions won’t happen every day. Have they got an agent etc, or made any plans to get the auditions? Want do they plan to do in their spare time?

Loads of actors work day jobs, I’d make them get one. Flexible jobs exist and it doesn’t have to be full-time.

It will instill all kinds of helpful attributes - showing up on time, following direction, working hard etc. which will all help if they do have success as an actor. It can also be fun, help them make friends, and be something on their CV and a reason to get up in the morning.

Also some humility and real life experience!

Day job. It probably isn’t going to work out and work experience is important.

Even the jobbing actors I know (and there are a couple in the family) make terrible money! They survive but barely.

No, I wouldn't. 23 is plenty old enough to have to balance dreams and survival. I would expect them to do some kind of paid work. I might help them out, but I wouldn't bankroll them.

I would help them as much as I could but at the same time suggest they also get a job even if only part time or temporary when there are no opportunities in their chosen field so that they get some experience

Depends slightly on who their agent is. If they’ve been snapped up by one of the big agencies, then maybe give them 12 months then review - but tbh would expect them still to be earning some cash, even if just working as a waiter/bar staff.
If there’s with a very small agent, or don’t have agency representation, then no. I would encourage them to focus on a job and fit in auditions/dance practice etc alongside the paid work.

a bit of both. Happy to help them out as needed - but tbh living at home without costs is a huge help on its own already. As you say those other actors working multiple jobs are doing so to cover the basics, which he already gets.

If he wants anything extra like gym, transport costs, clothes, there is no reason why he can't spend a few days a week working part time in a traditional job while still leaving the vast majority of his time free. As pps said there are absolutely loads of flexible jobs that could work around everything else.
Lots of students work part time while also studying full time.
Parents work whilst also taking care of kids.

Apart from anything else, actors are supposed to realistically represent other people's lives - how can he do that if he's never even held down a job?

The actors I know do Uber eats, or casual hospitality (from an app) so they have flexibility to attend auditions. Your dc may come unstuck later if they don’t have anything on the CV and even established performers have droughts in work. Good luck to him though.

Day job. But with a few caveats.
Firstly, if they had a freelance income stream (tutoring, film and tv extra work, making and selling art - to name a few things that friends of mine do part time) I would potentially be less concerned about them not having a regular job.
And currently it is harder than usual to find part time work because the NI changes have meant employers in the care and hospitality industries are preferring to take on fewer full time workers rather than more part time.
My level of support would also depend on how hard they were working on the arts career. I wouldn’t be happy subsidising if they are dilettante about it.

Part time, flexible job.
Even if I could afford it, I don’t think the arts are a healthy industry. A pt job would help balance that out.

Depends how well off you are.
The majority of famous actors come from well-heeled backgrounds with a nice fat safety net or parents who were in the business.

Just to clarify a couple of things:

• DC has already done the training, and the decision to pursue this route has been made
• Yes, has secured a decent agent (just recently, so it's still early days)

The thing is, a lot of these answers confirm common misconceptions about how an actor should be spending their time - it's not just waiting for an agent to ring or send an email about an audition - that might make up 10-20% of the time. The rest is all about hustling for your own work - doing low paid or unpaid small roles in indie films or profit-share plays, or emailing casting/ theatre/ film directors, or writing your own material and taking it to festivals. And of course all these things, while not necessarily 'paying the rent', are 'work' which demonstrate reliability, teamwork etc.
If they're serious about it as a career then they should be treating it as a real job and committing a 40-hour week to it. And that's maybe why the actors who also need to hold down a 'day job' are perhaps the struggling actors everybody knows. It's hard to find the creative spark and find the energy to write a play after a day's shift at the supermarket or a late night serving behind a bar five nights a week?
It becomes a self-fulfilling prophecy that they will 'fail' because they can't commit fully.

Yes and I did.

he’s in music. Took a job teaching his instrument two days a week which pays his bills but the rest of the time practicing, gigging, etc. has been paid for recording work aswell.

he lives rent free so only needs to pay living expenses which he keeps very low - lives on chilli and egg fried rice with vegetables.

Apart from anything else, actors are supposed to realistically represent other people's lives - how can he do that if he's never even held down a job?

Am not concerned by this - they've worked jobs in the past.

Thanks for sharing your experience. Yes, my thinking is 1-2 days max of a job unrelated to his career.

I do remember seeing an interview with Josh O'Connor where he said he was working in the week in a call centre or something, and was rushing to auditions in his lunch hour, badly prepared, sleep deprived etc, and he realised he needed to fully commit to have any chance of making it, so he quit his office job and his mum was horrified.

@Octavia64 So at least he’s working if he’s teaching music.

@CornflakeMum I get what you are saying, ie you’ve got to speculate to accumulate. However, i think, at least a part-time job would be beneficial, to give them some income, and some job discipline. At 23, they need to stand on their own two feet, especially as I guess you have just funded him through uni. Unless they decide to get benefits to live off….

No
It is the same as having a child who says he wants to be a pro footballer
The chances of making a good career and being successful are vanishingly small
I would say do it in your slare time by all means
I would not be supporting a 23 year old financially living in a dream world and would insist they join the real world
AI is taking a lot of jobs in the artistic field and that will grow enormously greatly reducing chances

How much success have they had previously with am-dram? At school/college etc?
what roles have they got?

Having an agents does not mean the agent thinks your lad has any talent or is hopeful
They will punt out his stuff to their contacts

If they get a commission they get a cut from your son
It is no more than that

Yes I would I think. Someone’s got to make it and if you can’t support your own kids to dream then who can you?
Everything we have is for them anyway really.
But I would insist on hard work, dedication, and taking some flexible paid work on the side - I have one friend who has a son trying to make it and he works in a theatre flexibly, which gives him access to actors and his world he loves!
If there was any lying about til 2pm then doom scrolling all day then the deal would be off. And re look at it in 3 years.
I also wouldn’t drift into the arrangement but have a proper sit down where you agree terms and a written agreement.
Good luck to your son!!