Thread 55 - Covid GCSE Cohort - Autumn 25 - Yr 4 Uni and Graduates

[Oblomov25]

This is a support thread for our young adults post GCSEs 2020, regardless of their educational setting, and their results ( or life updates for those who went into work or have had results earlier). It is respectfully requested that all are supportive and helpful to each other. If you want to start a debate, e.g state vs private, uni vs employment please don't within this thread.
Some of us have been here since first thread back in yr10, some will be new. Everyone has been friendly and helpful in the past. Everyone is welcome. It is hoped this will continue. We were previously on the secondary board and then further education, now we shall be here in 'Parents of Adult Children' gulp
Our DS/DD may continue down various pathways ( employment, apprenticeships, higher ed). Experience is that everyone is welcomed wherever, whatever their child is doing we have some in work, gap years , apprenticeships etc too. Lots of contributors with different experiences and always sympathy and advice to be had.
Previous thread 54:
Thread 54

One of my daughter's flatmates is a masters student at LSTM but she is international.

House buying update:

DS looked at another house on Monday and one this afternoon (both more expensive than the house he offered on) and was not keen on either. He mentioned how much he loved the first house to the estate agent. The EA said that the over-the-asking-price purchaser had not paid the 'offer deposit' and their 48 hour limit was nearly up (30 mins to go). He said if DS offered full asking price and paid the 'offer deposit' straight away, they could probably get it off the market for him by 5pm.

DS has had his offer accepted on the first house which he loves! This feels very grown up now; a solicitor is emailing him tomorrow.

Welcome back @Heifer. Good to hear all is going well for your DD with study, work and hockey.

Whoop! @Aslockton

@KingscoteStaff Serious responsibility there. I know they are trained but it feels like the thing about police looking younger when it's one of our group.

I missed the new thread! Going to catch up and will be back! Thanks

Great news for Ds @Aslockton !

@KingscoteStaff good to hear from you - that’s serious responsibility!

Lovely update from @Heifer too - sounds like your dd is doing really well all round! Is she still with the original bf from home?

@Heifer good to hear from you! I very rarely post as obviously DS left uni in year 2 and has taken a different path. Glad your DD is doing well.

DS is doing well with his job and moved out a week or so ago, he’s renting with friends in a lovely period house. He’s only 20 mins away so still local which is nice.

DS1 (24) is also going through the house buying process! Had his offer accepted a couple of weeks ago and is finalising mortgage etc now. No chain but still expect it to take several months and won’t believe it until he actually gets the keys! It’s 25-30 mins in the opposite direction to DS2 so also nearby.

I fully sympathise with the elderly parents and work dealing with them. Both my parents have had hospital stays and ongoing issues in the last six months. As DSis is no longer with us, it’s all on me to help out and they are an hour away but their hospital is nearly two hours away from me which has been a challenge.

Otherwise, all ok apart from trying to get medication right to sort out high blood pressure which is a work in progress.

Some great news on here mixed with some sad news - sorry to hear if thats you.
DS seems settled in his first year. He needs a tux for a black tie event - any suggestions where to buy from? ATM I’m thinking where he got his prom suit from.
Also, has anyone been through the whole UOTC thing at uni ? He seems really invested in it but DH says he could be indoctrinated by the army and isn’t keen for him to pursue it.

DS did UOTC as he was keen on the flying opportunities it offered. He did do some power flying and went up in a chinook as well as taking the RAF officer tests. However, he did not enjoy the regimental elements and joining UOTC confirmed that the military was not for him. (You do get paid for being part of UOTC).

Ironically, DD who showed no interest in the military, never was in cadets etc at school or in UOTC, suddenly decided to become a naval officer after graduating from university even though she had 5 grad scheme offers.

@Aslocktonwas there any pressure on him in terms of thinking of the army as the future?

@AnotherNewName460 It will be interest to hear how your DS's house buying goes.

My dad spent about 10 years in and out of hospital, being gravely ill then recovering. A huge chunk of my children's childhood was spent visiting hospitals with a five hour round car journey every other weekend. 3 years after his death, my mum got cancer for the 2nd time and died within 16 weeks. I was making the 5 hour round journey twice a week at the end. The only blessing was, they both had good deaths and some of my best memories of mum were in those final weeks.

@NCTDN No pressure at all. He could leave at any time. That is the same at BRNC (Britannia Royal Naval College). You can not leave in the first 4 weeks, but after that you can give notice to leave at any time, even the day before passing out after 29 weeks of training.

Gosh, ten years of it, that must have been very difficult.
Not expecting anything to happen quickly re the house sale but will see. It’s so long since we last moved house I have forgotten about the process really. Luckily he’s flexible as he’s with us currently and will need to do some work to it before moving in so timescale is not vital. Will be interesting to see how your DS’s purchase goes. As far as I’m aware DS hasn’t been asked to pay any sort of deposit yet…

Maybe it is that estate agent not a whole of market thing, but it makes sense to know people are serious with a £250 offer deposit. A colleague at work has been trying to move for 2 years, but twice, at the last minute, the chain has collapsed. Hopefully as a first time buyer, it might be more straight forward.

Ten years-It ended up being the norm for us all. Dad used to phone every night for a chat and was always upbeat whether he was in hospital or at home. He had all the complications of diabetes- quadruple heart bypass, constant infections, leg amputation and blindness. He died very suddenly in the end. My brother had popped into see him as he was working a couple of hours away. I phoned and my brother took the call in the ward. He said there was no emergency, dad was fine, he is breathless but laughing and joking. My brother then went back to dad’s bedside and he had died during that 3 minute call.

@AnotherNewName460 we like hearing your updates too! More of our kids than not have now finished uni anyway, so you're in the majority having kids in the workplace 😀

It's also really helpful to hear from those with older kids who've navigated first jobs, moving areas, house shares, house purchases etc. And eventually things like weddings and children - I wonder who will be our first to get married?!

Glad ds is settled @NCTDN - where did he go in the end? My first year ds is also very happy and settled in Nottingham, although all his deadlines are looming in the next couple of weeks and he hasn't started any of them yet!

Welcome back to you too @AnotherNewName460

My DS is working, not in a grad role, but at a farm shop, he is also doing some self-employed and some volunteer gardening so he is a busy chap at the moment. Still playing hockey too but unfortunately working Saturdays which means training only for the time being. DD is in the first year at Royal Holloway and I'm navigating a lot of heavy duty parent-related stuff.

One of DS's friends from primary school has bought a flat with his partner, newbuild so no chain and they have been together since they were 16. He's on a degree apprenticeship and she's a trainee (training on the job) HCP, it is all very grown up.

Hi everyone, sorry for silence for ages. Need advice. Dd2 has come home for reading week in 1st term at uni - reading arabic - and immediately booked 6 shifts in the gastric where she was working as a chef in her gap year. Has told me this morning, as I was walking out the door for work - that she doesn’t think she is going back to uni because she isn’t interested enough in the subject to study it for 4 years and what she really wants to do is get a job in a high end kitchen and train properly as a chef, because that’s what she loves and that’s what she wants to do.
Bit of a bombshell. She has been dead set on studying Arabic for 3 years, but I have to admit has not seemingly been interested in the politics of the Middle East or Arabic literature or culture or anything. I think she liked the intellectual challenge of the difficulty of the language. However it is not a language you can study without really loving it, it’s is damn difficult. She has no issues with the teaching, her course mates, university life etc etc, she just wants to be a chef.

What to do? Is there any point saying see it through to Christmas and see how you feel, when she has expressed herself so clearly? Seems to me that if this is not the course for her she should drop out before fees are due and take effectively a 2nd gap year, try to get into the best kitchen she can, and if she is happy then great. If she decides it is not for her, apply for something else and go when she is 20 in sept 26 or 21 in sept 27. Or is this all cold feet?

@Delphigirl Sorry you have had this bombshell, but at least she has been brave and spoken to you. I think she should go with her heart and follow the path that makes her happy... chefing.

She needs to withdraw and tell student finance.

https://www.ucas.com/money-and-student-life/money/student-finance/student-finance-in-england/suspending-or-withdrawing-from-your-full-time-studies

The money she earns working in a restaurant over Christmas will probably pay off the 25% fees student loan. You don't want that small amount compounding and being a debt for 40 years.

Sometimes life takes you on different journey. The top student in my DH's grammar school took a gap year before taking up his place at Oxford. However, he never ended up at Oxford, he became a writer for TV comedy shows, top London food critic and author. His co-wrote all the ladybird spoof books and made a fortune.

Oh @Delphigirl I know this must be a proper curved ball for you all but over the years of you posting about your daughter and her fiercely driven personality, I am absolutely not surprised at this. She has always clearly been super academic, but it’s heart and passion that drives her. I think she’ll absolutely throw herself into the very challenging world of cookery at those levels, and only those with a certain personality can.

‘’I hope you all are able to talk through the pros and cons well enough to come to decisions that leave you feel good about her path and choices. It’s exciting too, if she thinks she can make this work, then it will.

@crazycrofter he’s at Sheffield and loving the outdoor opportunities.
@Delphigirlit’s so hard. I think when they’re academic there is a huge expectation from early on to attend uni by college etc. But ultimately they need to do what makes them happy.

Oh yes of course @NCTDN I remember now - they're both near the Peak District! Ds was walking in the Peaks again at the weekend with the girl he's keen on; so keen that he's willing to go on hikes, which are not his favourite thing at all! We had a very long conversation when we visited about whether the fact that she has slow-twitch muscle fibres and he has fast-twitch meant that they were incompatible 😂I said I thought other things were probably more important! Like the fact that they can talk for hours (as long as they're not hiking uphill, and ds is out of breath!).

@Delphigirl that's a bit of a curve ball, but you've mentioned a few times how much she enjoyed the kitchen job. It's not as if she's just thinking the grass is greener - she knows what it entails and by the sounds of it, is very good at it? Knowing what you enjoy and are good at at 19/20 is a big win!

Just dipping in to moan, hope you all don't mind. @Aslockton I hope your ds gets the house. DS has just recently said he has no interest in any of the industries he's been applying to for grad schemes e.g Finance & consulting. He wishes he had done a science degree instead and would have liked to have done something like Engineering, his ultimate goal is to have his own business/entreprenuership. He couldn't do sciences at A'level because Maths was always his weakness, he hopped his way to a 7 in GCSE maths up to that point, he had only ever got 5s in Maths. So school us advised him to steer clear of it. He also was obsessed with going to a top uni. I did advise him at the time that if he'd be willing to go to much lower-ranked uni we could push for him with school to do A'level Maths but he needed to be prepared to find it tough and would probably come out with a C and D but could study a science subject with it, to which he gave a firm, no.

Now it's resurfaced again and i don't know what to advise. His interests are entrepreneurship, AI, Sustainability. So far i've advised he applies for jobs in those industries but i think he's finding being picky about industries at this stage rather tricky. Lots aren't recruiting and the few that are, are fiercely competitive. He has self taught himself Python and is at intermidiate level, although doesn't want to be a programmer. He keeps talking about it everytime we chat about applications and just appears glum, which is sad.

@Shimydd wants a career in sustainability. I have no idea where she should start.

Is he looking at non-grad jobs at all @Shimy ? Or jobs advertised locally on Indeed etc, smaller companies rather than the main grad recruitment rounds. I work in science and there are quite a lot of small science and technology companies tucked away on industrial estates all over the place that recruit as needed to fill vacancies etc. Small companies can be a good place to pick up a wide range of skills. Might be a bit more flexible about exact qualifications too.

@Delphigirl that is a shock, but I suspect, from what we know of you and your family that she has got what it takes to succeed in something she feels passionate about and even if long term cheffing turns out not to be the career for her I imagine the transferrable skills are very good indeed, logistics, timing, ingredients, regulations, customer service, costings. It is also a very portable career, she could work anywhere in the world. My friend’s DD went straight to a catering career after A levels having worked in a cafe in 6th form and is very happy working in Australie now as it is one of the careers on their required list so f.easy to get a visa. .