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Parents of adult children

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Original poster

Advice ASAP Ds driving on motorway

85 replies

Carol52 · 03/09/2025 06:01

My son has been driving for just a year. Never driven on motorway and he and his friends driving 3 hours to Akron towers tomorrow. Girlfriend has driven on motorways but won’t drive now because of period and the fact they are setting off early. I am worried as he hasn’t been sleeping well lately because of university choices etc. last night he didn’t seem really happy about driving.
need advice . He seems a bit nervous understandably but I i don’t know what to advise him.advice asap please

OP posts:
TruthOutWeighsLies · 03/09/2025 06:02

Will he even listen to you?

rubyslippers · 03/09/2025 06:03

What’s the issue? Driving on motorways is a perfectly normal thing to do
more concerned the girlfriend won’t drive because of her period?!

FuppinNora · 03/09/2025 06:06

Just go over how to merge with traffic onto motorway. If he is driving over a year he should be fine, nervous but fine! Get him to have his sat nav on so it tells him which lanes to be in. Daunting your first time but we all have to start somewhere.

Not driving because you have your period 😅

ThingsgetbetterwithalittlebitofRazzmatazz · 03/09/2025 06:09

Unless you live somewhere without motorways (seems unlikely if you are 3 hours from alton towers) it seems strange to have avoided them for a year. If he can do dual carriageways he can do motorways. Keep left unless overtaking, don't speed, he'll be fine.

Rozendantz · 03/09/2025 06:12

I'm also baffled by the idea of not driving because of her period - that sort of behavior really does women no favours!

But back to your question... motorway driving is easier than any other driving, just remind him that he needs to speed up to join the motorway, check and double-check his blind spot before changing lanes, and to leave lots of distance between him and the car in front. He'll be fine. (I speak as a parent of a 19 year old driver...)

SoScarletItWas · 03/09/2025 06:15

Understandable for you to be nervous that a car full of excited teenagers for three hours is not the ideal first motorway experience.

I would give him a few key tips about keeping two seconds between him and car in front, keeping left unless overtaking, and ‘reading the road’ further ahead to avoid last minute braking especially approaching slip roads with joining traffic.

Not sure why GF can’t drive because of her period but appreciate she might be suffering (not badly enough to spend the day on rollercoasters apparently…)

Original poster
Carol52 · 03/09/2025 06:19

Thank some good advice . She said I will be asleep or read g a book. I told him to sit her in the back and take a friend in the front who may help with being akert in traffic. He has not really driven on a dual carriageway really

OP posts:
Original poster
Carol52 · 03/09/2025 06:19

Thank some good advice . She said I will be asleep or read g a book. I told him to sit her in the back and take a friend in the front who may help with being akert in traffic. He has not really driven on a dual carriageway really

OP posts:
Original poster
Carol52 · 03/09/2025 06:19

Thank some good advice . She said I will be asleep or read g a book. I told him to sit her in the back and take a friend in the front who may help with being akert in traffic. He has not really driven on a dual carriageway really

OP posts:
Original poster
Carol52 · 03/09/2025 06:39

ThingsgetbetterwithalittlebitofRazzmatazz · 03/09/2025 06:09

Unless you live somewhere without motorways (seems unlikely if you are 3 hours from alton towers) it seems strange to have avoided them for a year. If he can do dual carriageways he can do motorways. Keep left unless overtaking, don't speed, he'll be fine.

Hi only driven local not even driven on a dual carriageway really

OP posts:
Chobby · 03/09/2025 06:42

Have you ever taken him on a motorway to practice? My dad did this as soon as I passed my test.

Sirzy · 03/09/2025 06:44

I do find it very bizzare that he hasn’t been given the experience before now. First thing my mum did when I passed was take me on motorway! Surely he did dual carriageway as a learner?

I think if he is so worried he needs someone sitting with him to help At this point then cancel the trip and book a pass plus type course!

Thelonelydonkey · 03/09/2025 06:44

Bit late now but my motorway driving lesson was one of the best things I ever did. I still use the tips now....30 years later

LillyPJ · 03/09/2025 06:52

I think the most helpful advice I had was to use the slip road to get right up to speed with the traffic on the motorway and identify your gap before joining. Also, keep in the left lane unless overtaking. Maybe most important - keep a big gap in front of you. Seeing how close some cars get is scary. You can't control how closely you're followed but you can control how much space you have in front, giving you time to react to changes. Of course, he could tell his SatNav to avoid motorways altogether and have a much more interesting but longer journey.

Ohmygodthepain · 03/09/2025 07:09

We live a mile from a major motorway junction, with 3 motorways within 5 miles - it's almost impossible to drive anywhere locally without going on a motorway!.

My DD went on the motorway whilst under instruction as a learner, and on the day she passed we went out on the route she would take to college the next day. 2 weeks later she drove 200 miles to London for a concert.

If your ds is that nervous to drive on a dual carriageway he's going to be a danger to himself and others on a motorway. Doing it for the first time, for 3 hours, with a car full of mates is insanely risky. He's going to have a LOOOOONG day, then drive home tired.

Too late for them to book a travel lodge for the night?

londongirl12 · 03/09/2025 07:12

Ohmygodthepain · 03/09/2025 07:09

We live a mile from a major motorway junction, with 3 motorways within 5 miles - it's almost impossible to drive anywhere locally without going on a motorway!.

My DD went on the motorway whilst under instruction as a learner, and on the day she passed we went out on the route she would take to college the next day. 2 weeks later she drove 200 miles to London for a concert.

If your ds is that nervous to drive on a dual carriageway he's going to be a danger to himself and others on a motorway. Doing it for the first time, for 3 hours, with a car full of mates is insanely risky. He's going to have a LOOOOONG day, then drive home tired.

Too late for them to book a travel lodge for the night?

You’re not allowed on the motorway as a learner.

BunnyRuddington · 03/09/2025 07:13

Seems weird that he hadn’t driven on a dual carriageway yet. Wasn’t that part of his lessons and test?

If you have any younger DC i would book them a Motorway lesson as always on as they pass their test. This would stop any unnecessary anguish.

I also think it’s weird that his GF wouldn’t want to drive because she has her AF but not quite as weird as the fact that your DS didn’t offer to share the driving in the first place and worried about driving on Motorways.

Sirzy · 03/09/2025 07:15

If the girlfriend knows she struggles with her period, is more tired, has awful cramps whatever then good on her for saying “no I don’t feel safe driving”. I think the roads would be a lot safer if more people realised that in that moment it’s not sensible for them to be on the road.

Runnersandtoms · 03/09/2025 07:18

londongirl12 · 03/09/2025 07:12

You’re not allowed on the motorway as a learner.

Show quote history

You can if you're in a driving school dual control car with an instructor.

londongirl12 · 03/09/2025 07:22

Runnersandtoms · 03/09/2025 07:18

You can if you're in a driving school dual control car with an instructor.

Show quote history

Ah yes, I see the law changed. It’s something I never see and I’m on the motorway a lot.

sittingonabeach · 03/09/2025 07:23

This does not seem like a good idea. I’m assuming if only driven locally he hasn’t done long drives before either, so two 3 hour drives and busy day in between isn’t great. When DS and GF recently went to Alton Towers, slightly longer journey time but more experienced driver than your DS, we treated them to a night in hotel so split driving up.

looopr · 03/09/2025 07:25

Not to add to your worries but weather conditions where we are aren’t great, how are they on his route? Driving on the motorway in heavy rain is not pleasant as an experienced driver. Too late for any real advice but remind him about surface spray and how he’ll have to adjust his wipers if taken over by large vehicles. Obviously he needs to take it easy, but If he doesn’t think he can stick with the pace I don’t think they should go.

Owly11 · 03/09/2025 07:27

Tell him to take his time, have as many breaks as needed especially if he is feeling tired and to let his passengers know that he wants to take his time and for the car not to be too rowdy. He will be fine. Have you asked him if he’s nervous about it?

RedRiverShore5 · 03/09/2025 07:29

We live 15 miles from a motorway so only go on occasionally but we have on a fairly big A road dual carriageway near us, have you got that he could practice merging onto and driving on.

ProfessionalWhimsicalSkidaddler · 03/09/2025 07:29

It’s a straight road. Unless they’re completely incompetent and have the awareness of a toaster, they will be fine. She can’t drive because of her period but can go on rollercoasters? Call me harsh but she sounds pathetic. He doesn’t sound much better.

if it’s that scary then tell them to get a train to uttoxeter and a taxi the rest of the way.