My mum's gone off on one....AGAIN

[Miffed52]

I'm a 53 year old childless single woman. Christmas cards are coming and in them people are detailing how full these people's lives are and one in particular saying how their grandchildren are spending Christmas with them from Germany. Mum turned round to me and said I have denied her grandchildren and a son in law all because of my "shyness and sensitivity. They've all got you worked out you know". She'll then say, "Why can't you be more like such and such"? and then will say I'm just like my dad (who died when I was 6). I have no idea why I've ended up single and have accepted that no one wants me, but my mum is extremely disappointed in me. She'll say, "Another Christmas in the same boat". I'm at a loss how to deal with this 😭😭😭😭😭😭

Either she accepts you as you are or just forget having you around. That's the best way to deal with it. I don't tolerate people like that. I cut off people who run their mouth and treat me like that. I have all my holidays and social situations with people that know how to treat me the way I deserve to be treated. Yes, I may have cut off majority of my family but the toxic environment is gone and I am better off

Oh gosh, thank you so much, all. Do you know I don't even realise she's being nasty to me? I don't even recognise it?
Just now, round 58 has erupted. She's just told me no one even likes me or fancies me and I'll end up alone. No one will ever want me, she said. She even minimised my sexual abuse when I was 11. You see, the lads who abused me were 14/15 years of age and I was 11. This was back in 1982. My mum will say, "But that's kids. That's what they do" 😱. I couldn't believe what I was hearing. I don't think she thinks it should've affected me - the abuse 😢.
Like a responder before earlier, I'll buy that book. Sorry. Had to rant - get this off my chest. Got to go somewhere else next year for Christmas.
Thank you all for listening xxxx

Please, please, please cut that woman out of your life, get counselling and go enjoy yourself.

She’s abusive. She’s abusing you. You’re not anyone’s punching bag.

I will. I'm already making counselling enquiries.

Oh love, she's a horrific bully, and you have had such a horrible experience which she invalidated. Counselling sounds good. I'd be avoiding her this Christmas, you can have your own good time and she can stew in her own toxic juices. It's never too late to see the light.

Well I daresay you are single because your mum has well and truly destroyed any self confidence and self esteem you may have had.

I wouldn't be choosing to spend Christmas with her, tell her you've booked a flight somewhere hot to bag yourself an 'exotic' man, and just enjoy a few days by the pool with a book.

I’m almost always on the mother’s side as I think there should be forgiveness in families but wtf, she’s nuts! It’s perfectly fine & acceptable to not have children! This is ridiculous. Hold your head high & tell her not to be so ridiculous, you’re not here to ‘give her a grandchild’ you’re here to live your life & make your own decisions. Good grief, sorry op, she sounds awful.

How awful, definitely spend less time around her!!!