From the GCSE years, to graduation & beyond

[Dearover]

After sharing the Oxford & Cambridge years with so many of you, I think we can safely say we're now parents of adult children (& caring for elderly parents too in some cases). Here's a space to share their adventures without cluttering up the HE thread.

Yes that was my first suggestion PermanentTemporary. The old fashioned way over the sink. Kettle is a mini kettle apparently (flatmate bought it on the first day she took the flat over and they haven't upgraded).

The one thing I'm absolutely certain of is that if lateral thinking is required, pressure to wash hair for the first day of work will produce it.

This certainly seems to be the issue which is causing the most concern - the ceiling collapsing seems to be a long way down the list of worries.

@ThatllBeTheDay I hope day 1 for DD4 in her new job went well whatever the state of her hair! And also the hot water is fixed.

All fixed finally thank you Juja - ceiling is a bit of a mess but these things pale in relation to hot water/ hair. The upstairs flat had had some cowboy plumbers in apparently. Tomorrow morning she's off on a three day networking session in Birmingham. I suppose that's because it's accessible for all the fast streamers, even those who've been posted away from the capital. She's very excited about that. Best bit is the smart hotel and swimming pool all paid for by the taxpayer (which does now include her of course).

Another one with a foot in each camp! D1 having graduated last year is still in Oxford, her bf has started a 2 year post grad and they've moved flat. She was working in retail with the plan of getting a graduate type job for a year before starting her masters. It's proved very frustrating and expensive (dipping into savings) but she's now just about to start what should be an interesting and better paid job. She's met one of her undergrad tutors to discuss her research topic for the masters and is putting her application together.

@JulesJules check out the fees for a masters carefully. If your DD will need a masters loan, I think it's around £12k for the fees and maintenance combined. Taught masters fees at KCL, LSE, Oxford, Cambridge etc were in the region of £17k. Research masters are a little more affordable. Also a masters loan is repaid alongside undergraduate loans, rather than being repaid once the undergrad years have been paid off.

@Dearover Yes, £18770 fees actually 😬There are a lot of available scholarships should her application be successful (it's very competitive so not taking that for granted)

JulesJules she'll be aware of this, but having her final classification in hand should help enormously, both in terms of how quickly Oxford offers a place (probably very quickly indeed) and in terms of being considered for scholarship funding.

@ThatllBeTheDay thank you, I hope so!

DD put in her application on a Monday. She had her offer within 24 hours. It makes things so much easier.

Most fees seem to be going up by 5% between 2024 and 25. No wonder it's unaffordable for most home students.

I'm positioned towards the "end of this thread"

Daughter graduated in 2017. Off this weekend to spend a weeks holiday with her and her partner in their first house. Taking with us her brother, who graduated in 2019 through an apprenticeship. We are going via a "drive by" of a house he's just had an offer agreed on.

And we are also taking their 83 year old grandfather - who lives with us!

One in, two out @Feelingstrange2 ?

@Dearover

Indeed. Challenges continue but are very different.

@ThatllBeTheDay glad to hear the leaking ceiling was fixed and hope your DD has enjoyed her 3 day networking session in Birmingham.

DS1 and DS2 have now officially registered for the SQE1 law exam (daunted by the lowish pass rate) and working hard towards this. alongside doing yet another round of TC applications.

I do despair at the ratio of applicants to TCs. The average number of applicants seems to be around 9000 and there are usually 4 stages of application before you get to the Vac Scheme fortnight. Here, there seem to be around 80 competitors plus some current paralegals already working in the firm and another huge number of direct TC applicants too (so we might be looking at well over 100 competitors in total at that stage), all hoping for an offer for one of about 15 TC spaces.

Six months after completing one of his unsuccessful Vac Schemes, this year, DS2 is still waiting for a feedback call to be arranged by that firm. Feedback is consistently generic and/or contradictory and usually given by someone he's never met. It's so difficult for him to work out what he could do differently next time, if he doesn't have a clear idea of why they didn't want him. With DS2, he's clearly getting through the rounds on paper and seems to be very well liked during the Vac Schemes but isn't getting selected for a TC.

For DS1, he's less successful 'on paper' but making some progress. He's got to wait until next year to have his TC assessment day for one firm for whom he did a Vac Scheme back in the summer. This also seems faintly ridiculous, as no one will remember much about those selected from the VC and allowed to enter the TC assessment day.

I do wish it could be like the old days where you just had an interview and they decided whether or not they liked you and you'd fit in and that was it.

@mutterphore that does sound spectacularly rubbish for your DSs. It's a testament to their resilience how they have kept plugging away. I really hope there are TCs just around the corner. Whilst I'm sure they would like the financial rewards that may come their way eventually in Law, I'm quite glad that my DDs have gone the STEM route and seem to want to stay there.

DD2 has enjoyed her 1st week of work. She's currently doing 9-5 M-F whilst training but this will then move to 4 slightly longer days per week. She says that there are loads of processes to learn, each of which has an acronym. They have a work WhatsApp group where they test each other on their knowledge of these acronyms in a light-hearted way. DD was leading the competition as of last night. DH is going there for work next week so is taking another load of stuff. He needs to build her bed and a set of shelves. Hopefully then she can sort her bedroom properly.

DD1 is busy repeating experiments which require being in the lab every day, including 2 or 3 times per day over the weekend. On Saturdays she goes in early to tend to them, then does Park Run, then works in the coffee shop at a sports centre, tending to the cells at the end of that, then again in the evening. She did manage a day out last Sunday with her housemates, one of whom has a car. It's strange because DD has a car but it stays with us because it's quicker and cheaper to cycle round Cambridge. It's most definitely NOT the same in Devon, hence the car being with us!

@mutterphore How inhuman and unhelpful- all the very best in this coming year with their applications- hopefully all their experience so far will stand them in good stead.

@Malbecfan all sounds v positive for your DDs, your DD1 is clearly making the most of every hour. How long do their experiments have to run?

I can sympathise @mutterphore. It was only July papers which seem to have a blip, so I would expect the pass rate to be back up to around the usual 50% again next sitting.

In my own area, pass rates are usually 29 - 31% which sounds dreadfully low until you see the tuition provider's own pass rates. I suggest they focus on that, there will be many stories behind the overall rate.

@Malbecfan I always thought a stress free alternative career would be in providing a flat pack building service. I always paid for the service to avoid new stuff festering on the landing until we got around to it many weeks later.

Hi All

Lovely to see so many names I recognise on this thread and to hear about all the great things your grads are up to.

I'm rejoining you as DS (having had a year off) is now back at Oxford for his Masters with the intention of applying for D.Phil straight afterwards. For those I haven't met, DS had a very disrupted undergrad experience as on top of covid, his dad died of cancer, so he interrupted after his first year and then returned a year later than his cohort. He also has fairly severe dyspraxia as well as the social anxiety that seems to bedevil so many of their generation. Despite all this he managed to get a good first, with a spectacular dissertation mark. I'm so proud that he managed it but he found much of his time quite stressful.

He seems to me much calmer and more mature after the year out and is settling in well at his new college (a graduate-only one: he did an open application). He's promised to engage really seriously with careers service this time round, having experienced quite how tough the job market is for new grads at the moment!

Lovely news @SchrodingersKitty.

That's a great update @SchrodingersKitty

Hello again @SchrodingersKitty! Lovely to have you on the thread and I'm very pleased to hear that your DS has benefited from his year out and is now back at Oxford. He's amazing, especially given all he's been through and so are you too. Very good luck to him forging ahead with his studies.

@Malbecfan thanks for your kind words about my DS1 and DS2. I'm glad your DD2 has enjoyed her first week of work and all the best to your DD1 who continues to work very hard but ensures she's got a healthy lifestyle outside of work too.

@Juja and @Dearover , many thanks also for your supportive comments for my DCs too. I'm pleased many of us have joined this new thread and hope others do too. If I haven't already said it, @HuaShan, great to have you over here too and I hope your DC continues to thrive.

That's so good to hear SchrodingersKitty. Huge congratulations to your DS.

Lovely update @SchrodingersKitty - DD May swap to a postgraduate college next year for the second half of her medical degree. I think it will be strange for her in college as her friends leave after year 3 and 4.

But in the clinical years most students live out HoneyMobster, so there's not much to be gained by swapping colleges. Only a very small number do, usually if they haven't been happy at their original college.

Whereas going to a different college for postgrad is often done in order to have the best shot at specific scholarship funding.

The medics seem to spend a lot more time together from year 4 onwards, as @ThatllBeTheDay suggests, once they hit the clinical years. That makes it far easier to house share with others regardless of college.