I’m done

[Adultchildusingdrugs]

My adult kids are toxic. Just had a load of verbal abuse from my adult son because I asked him to clean and tidy his bedroom.
Daughter is living with a drug dealer
The pair of them are ripping me up for arsepaper between themselves

Ive had enough. I want out

Husband has his head buried in the samd about their behaviour

I can’t go on pretending everything is ok…I’ve had depression in the past…I’m not in a good place…never been suicidal before but I keep having very dark thoughts

How old is he OP and why is he still living at home?

Kick him out. And the husband too if he won't do anything to help.

Just turned 22…in the final year of his apprenticeship

https://www.mumsnet.com/talk/parenting/4993060-please-help-me

previous thread…it turned out the new boyfriend is dealing….shes moved in with him

If he's 22 then he can find an alternative living space. You are allowed to throw out your adult children if they are abusing you.

DH can go too if he doesn't back you up. Some times you just have to let things/people go.

I think I just want to not be around and leave the 3 of them to it…

Maybe you should move out then? Leave him and DH to it.

Find a bedsit and some peace of mind?

And it's perfectly acceptable to say that you love them but can't have them in your life anymore because of their behaviour.

If he’s doing an apprenticeship he’ll be earning himself. Time to give an ultimatum.

You love them but you don't like them.

Look after yourself X

Can you afford to leave? Or would you need to sell the house/divorce?

In the meantime can you seek counselling via your GP as it might help clarify what you want and how you can achieve it.

If you've struggled with your MH in the past and you're thinking of suicide you need urgent help now OP.

Once you've got some help you can start to think about how you want your future to look

OP, I’m really sorry to hear this. If you wanted, you could pick up the phone to the Samaritans. You sound like you are at the end of your tether and part of you is feeling like there isn’t any point, and that’s worrying. Samaritans will listen without judgement and try to help you find a way through without forcing solutions on you. And try to find something nice to do for you. I know it’s a cliche but even if it’s a little thing, it can be a mood lifter. Don’t let them suck the joy out of everything - you are more than a mother and a wife, focus on what will help you to find a bit of peace and contentment.

Hello OP, we are really sorry to hear you are feeling this way.

We hope you don't mind, but when these threads are flagged up to us we usually add a link to our Mental Health resources. You can also go to the Samaritans website] or email them on [email protected]. Support from other Mumsnetters is great and we really hope you will be able to take some comfort from your fellow posters, but as other MNers will tell you, it's really a good idea to seek RL help and support as well.

We also like to remind everyone that, although we're awed daily by the astonishing support our members give each other through life's trickier twists and turns, we'd always caution anyone never to give more of themselves to another poster, emotionally or financially, than they can afford to spare.

I kicked out my adult DD when she was being a total PITA. She still has her moments, but I don't care because I don't live with her. I'd tell your S he has to move out when he completes his apprenticeship, go NC with your D. Then make a decision on your H. I haven't read your other thread, so feel free to ignore me

This is spot on…I don’t want to be the parent who asks them to leave…I’ve always said no matter what they’d have a home here, but I didn’t foresee any of this…I won’t harm myself, the dark thoughts are just thoughts….the relationship my daughter is in has a lot of red flags for being controlling and she needs a safety net for when she hopefully gets out of it, but bloody hell this is so hard

Ok two separate issues

The boyfriend being a dealer...ignore it. Shes an adult and has made her decision

Be nice to him. Keep him close so you can maintain a relationship with your daughter

You son. Sit down and calmly explain this can't go on like this. Make a list of rules. He rither accepts them or mives to gis pen place

Pick your battles.

Do you and your husband own your own home, OP? Do you work full time? I wonder whether you could sell up if so and get your own place (one-bedroom) and just see your children for coffee every now and then? It sounds as though your mental health would really improve if you had somewhere to yourself.

If you rent then it's easier still.