AIBU to ask 28 y/o DD to move out.

[LadyMaine]

DD 28 came back home to live with me last September, for a year. She pays rent and it's just the two of us. We've agreed to take turns each week to do the housework. On her weeks she does very little and the dishes sometimes pile up for days.

Now she is demanding that I do not bake bread or use large baking trays as this creates to much washing up for her, although we have a dishwasher. (She doesn't cook much).

This morning I was told off for running the blender for five minutes at 11:30am, as it is her 'day off' (which is news to me). I agreed that she could smoke cigarettes in the garden (I don't smoke).

But now she also smokes weed and last week when I enquired who the person was parked outside my house she replied, 'oh that's my drug dealer'. I had no idea she was getting stuff delivered to the house.

The atmosphere in the house is miserable.

AIBU to ask her to move out?

She needs to go asap

This. She is not a child anymore. If she can afford drugs she can afford to get a room to live in.

Her age alone means that it's probably time to move out, but adding all the other stuff definitely does! She is taking advantage of you and needs to be gone by the end of the month, at the absolute latest.

It's your house, your rules and your adult daughter should accept that - especially doing her fair share of household chores such as washing up ! but the mere mention of a drug dealer calling round would be enough for me to want to kick daughter out of the house immediately. Drugs are a big no-no for me and thankfully my adult daughter has never gone down this route,

Does she pay rent and her portion of the bills?

I'm 2 years older than your daughter and have 3 DC, homeowner, full time job, volunteer for a charity and I'm studying online. Your daughter sounds like a lazy madam!!

DD and I just had a long talk. I've given her a month's notice to move out.

She will have enough for a deposit and one months rent by June.

I can't thank you all enough for your comments. I've posted before on Mumsnet when I've had a dilemma, but this is the first time that ALL the replies have basically been in agreement.
🙏🙏🙏

Glad there's a plan for moving forward, OP!

Blimey . YANBU. I have 3 adult children living with me and they don't do much housework but I absolutely wouldn't tolerate drugs in the house. I don't even allow energy drinks 😂

Absolutely no way- your house, your rules

Should you not discuss it first? Lay out your terms and tell her if she doesn't like them she can leave. Finding somewhere to live is hard and expensive at the moment.

The drugs would be the final straw for me.

Re housework - she needs to pull her weight and do her fair share. That said, I'd clear up after myself if i'd been baking, even if it wasn't 'my week'.

An adult conversation is needed i think and if she doesn't like it. she can go.

Yes 100% for the smoking of weed. Sorry to read you have a DD who is indirectly racist and condones the killing of young black men and others in the illegal drug trade.

The taking turns at housework is a strange setup which obviously isn't working. So you decide to bake, make a mess and she is obliged to clean up behind you?

Two adults should be able to live together, clean up after themselves as they go along and then share communal tasks such as cooking, clearing, vacuuming/cleaning bathrooms.

The drugs would be an deal breaker for me. If I was aware of any drug abuse in or around my home they would be out on their arse.

Congrats, well done! Now gird yourself against her possible attempts to move back in with you, once she realizes how good she had it. 😛