When the students come home for the holidays, how is it for you?

[VoluptuaGoodshag]

Share your stories please. My DD has been downright rude and we've had words. When I meet her in her Uni town we always have a lovely time but when she comes home she defaults to 'prickly' and I feel treated with contempt. It was ok at Xmas as she was home for longer and it's as if she takes a few days to settle into home life rhythms but this visit and a previous one I feel like I'm treading on eggshells. Pisses me off and I feel sad at the same time but I refuse to be spoken to the way she speaks to me - I wouldn't take it from any other adult so I'm not taking it from her. No please or thank you and a sense of entitlement. Am half hoping she's just stressed with studying but I don't take it out on others if I'm stressed.

DS did his awful in Y12/13 when he had a girlfriend that brought out the worst in him. She dumped him a few months into uni and ever since he’s been a different person.

Uni and living away has helped him appreciate many things - I notice the first few days he’s back he’s super grateful but this soon wanes and becomes the norm.

He needs to be busy to be happy so the gym, a job, seeing his local mates all really important when he’s back.

My dd is the same OP. Awful behaviour. I called it out last week and got verbal abuse back. Not once listened to what I said. All my house rules have gone since my dc became adults. Simple stuff like eating together evening food. Like tidying up after yourself. Like working together and being kind. Theres none of this now. Its a house with 5 separate adults in. I hate it.

Dis studying in a different country so we haven’t seen her since Christmas. So , so happy to have her home and know she is warm and well fed and safe. After the initial euphoria. there have been instances where I had to remind her of what was what-she didn’t like it much but digested it and the next day was better. I have to remind gentle DH to stand his ground as otherwise he will be taken advantage of.
i grew up in a very dysfunctional household but the new order has to be founded on steel as well as goodwill I think.

Looking back many years when my DC first came home from Uni, it seemed they regressed to a younger age for the holidays in their first year. As a bit of an introvert, I think they were exhausted from all the social effort they put in during term time. They did not really start treating us as people until they were 25/6ish.

I was lucky, within five minutes of walking through the door with all their stuff we were all back in our old routine. I enjoyed the time apart too.