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Parents of adult children

Wondering how to stop worrying about your grown child? Speak to others in our Parents of Adult Children forum.

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Thread 45 GCSE Covid Cohort - Bunnies bouncing into Spring

984 replies

OrangeCinnamonLatte · 18/02/2023 10:12

This is a support thread for our young adults post GCSEs 2020, regardless of their educational setting, and their results ( or life updates for those who went into work or have had results earlier). It is respectfully requested that all are supportive and helpful to each other. If you want to start a debate, e.g state vs private, uni vs employment please don't within this thread.

Some of us have been here since first thread back in yr10, some will be new. Everyone has been friendly and helpful in the past. Everyone is welcome. It is hoped this will continue. We were previously on the secondary board and then further education, now we shall be here in 'Parents of Adult Children' gulp

Our DS/DD may continue down various pathways ( employment, apprenticeships, higher ed). Be warned there might be lots of 'Uni Freshers' chat this time of year. My experience is that everyone is welcomed wherever, whatever their child is doing we have some in work, gap years , apprenticeships etc too. Lots of contributors with different experiences and always sympathy and advice to be had

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crazycrofter · 17/04/2023 00:11

@mummyinbeds sounds like you driving might help your stress levels at least! Dd seems to have gone off Harry a bit, it’s all about Taylor Swift now!

mummyinbeds · 17/04/2023 00:18

@crazycrofter one of DD's checklist items when choosing a uni was whether there was a Taylor Swift Society. Always second to Harry though.

Seeline · 17/04/2023 08:38

DDs first day at work today - finally - and of course the trains are in chaos 🙄 Hopefully she'll get there on time🤞
Still have DS at home - he only has lectures on Thursday and Friday so going back on Wednesday. He's been home for over 2 weeks - wanted to come to do a piece of coursework. He normally only comes home for a few days over holidays. It's been lovely having him back, but with a day and a half until his deadline, his coursework remains undone. It's taken me right back to the stresses of undone homework and revision. I'm not good with work not being done - DD is so different and works so hard, so had forgotten how badly I deal with it. He's 21 - it shouldn't affect me so badly!!

crazycrofter · 17/04/2023 09:19

Hope the first day goes well @Seeline ! It’s been a long wait for her.

I don’t get involved in dd‘a deadlines at all - for some reason, when she was at school I always trusted her to get things done, as teachers never told me otherwise. I now realise she was very last minute at school and still is now, but ultimately it’s her call…

Ds on the other hand does make me more stressed as I do hear from school so I have no choice but to get involved… Makes no difference though!

crazycrofter · 17/04/2023 11:26

@mummyinbeds I love the Taylor Swift society idea!

EwwSprouts · 17/04/2023 16:09

@Seeline I hope the first day has gone well for her & she is buzzing.

PhotoDad · 17/04/2023 18:39

Hope it went well for @Seeline DD!

Oblomov23 · 17/04/2023 21:23

I finished at my old job today after 12 years. Is a bit sad. Best job I ever had. Just have to wait for my redundancy payment.

I won't look for another job. I'm going to just do my other job for 4 days.

My back is still no better after 9 weeks. GP thinks it might be a trapped nerve. Wait for MSK clinic is 13 weeks.

EwwSprouts · 17/04/2023 21:38

@Oblomov23 It's rubbish when the timing of the ending is not of your choosing isn't it? Compound that with your chronic back pain and it's no wonder you feel down. I hope someone is cherishing you.

EasilyDirected · 17/04/2023 21:51

@Oblomov23 oh, that is sad re the job. I have only been made redundant once and I couldn’t wait to get out of there and yet it still hurt and felt really weird for ages, I imagine this is much worse. That’s rubbish about wait times for your back too.

PhotoDad · 17/04/2023 21:56

Sorry to hear all of that, @Oblomov23.

Comefromaway · 17/04/2023 22:18

Sorry to hear that

Oblomov23 · 17/04/2023 22:18

Thanks all. I had a huge argument with ds1 who asked me to print some stuff at work. 1 item I couldn't print. He was so rude to me. I was under incredible pressure.

I did a month end then a sage year end, then a payroll year end. And recalculated how much was owed to me, and all other employees, to send to the liquidator.

Bought all my stuff home. Gave my boss and my colleague of 12 years a big hug goodbye. Feels wierd.

I did too much today. Like 2 days work into 1. Why? Why did I do that.

My back is killing me. I went to see GP at 5 pm. Pointless. He can do nothing. he's wondering if I've got a trapped nerve . I'm so sad. 9 weeks, not getting better, no one knows what's wrong with me. I cry every 3rd day or so in pain and frustration.

Shimy · 17/04/2023 22:37

Oblomov so sorry to hear you're in such pain. I think you've mentioned it before i suggested Pilates etc. Are pain killers reaching it at all, solpadine, cocodamol? all you can do is keep going back to the GP and insist on a referral if they can't do anything, also try seeing a different doctor (hopefully not single handed gp).
Another thing you can try is a heat pack. I use 'Cura Heat' and slap it on my back and it works wonders. The instructions say to not apply it directly to skin but placing on clothing does nothing for me! I slap in on the aching part and the relief is so amazing.

Hope you feel well soon.

Oblomov23 · 18/04/2023 07:01

Thanks Shimy. I am having hot baths and a hot water bottle most nights. Heat seems to be the only thing that gives any relief. I've been given stretching exercises by physio. I can barely do them, not because I'm in pain, but because my body just won't do it! Sad

Seeline · 18/04/2023 08:07

Sorry about your back @Oblomov23 . I suffer from time to time, and know how miserable it can be. Have you tried an osteopath?

DD had a great day yesterday. She came home exhausted! But seemed really happy going back today. She's training again today and tomorrow and then her first shift on Thursday. I hope she makes it. Since she's been back from uni, she's been backwards and forwards to the GP and has a working diagnosis for fibromyalgia. She gets a lot of pain and exhaustion which is why this job seems perfect - she normally has a lunchtime cover shift of 4hrs, 4 days a week, so lots of downtime. Three full days in a row with commute is a big ask, but if she can get through it, the actual job should be great!

Heifer · 18/04/2023 09:35

Massive hug for you@Oblomov23. I'm a total wimp and really struggle with pain so hats off to you for functioning at all. I have to lie in bed on my side, totally straight legs and body to stop me being in pain the next day. It sounds like you've tried most things already but at least heat helps. I remember my Mum having a heat lamp for her back pain - wonder if that would help you?

@Seeline great news about your DD, hope she continues to enjoy this week and then onward and upwards after training.

@crazycrofter how did your DD get on with her long drive?

I loved seeing the wild life photos - what talented folk on here :-)

crazycrofter · 18/04/2023 12:02

@heifer well, she got back safely! But unfortunately both journeys were 1 star/red according to the black box! So she’s on a warning…. She was quite upset about it as she said it was because she didn’t know the route and it was straight country roads but hilly and so she couldn’t see into the distance/over the hills to anticipate what was coming next.

@Seeline that’s good news, what’s the job, I can’t remember?

@oblomov sorry to hear how much pain you’re in 😢

Seeline · 18/04/2023 12:50

@crazycrofter visitor assistant at one of the London museums. Hopefully if all goes well, she will be able to return each holiday as they area always on the lookout for extras during school holidays.

Monkey2001 · 18/04/2023 14:38

Sympathy to @Oblomov23 . We all take our back for granted until we get trouble and then realise it is at the centre of everything. My mum finds a super hot shower good.

@crazycrofter we found that country driving trashed the score too. Easy to get full marks about town.

crazycrofter · 18/04/2023 16:33

Ah yes @seeline I remember now -what a great job! Beats the warehouse job dd is doing at the moment - 8 hours on her feet, 23k steps a day and very repetitive!

@Monkey2001 I guess it's inevitable. Unfortunately, since we moved away last summer, all dd's friends are at least an hour away (a topic of regular moaning and guilt tripping...) so most of her driving will be longer distances 🙁I hoped the non-motorway route would be easier but clearly not. She's taking the motorway to Bristol next week (assuming her practice sessions with us go ok!) - maybe there's less scope for red journeys on the motorway? Assuming she gets on and off ok and doesn't do much else!

crazycrofter · 18/04/2023 16:34

Sorry to hear about dd's diagnosis @seeline - that must be hard for a youngster to deal with.

Monkey2001 · 18/04/2023 17:28

@crazycrofter is your car compliant with Clean Air Zone? That is another stress of driving an older car in Bristol - as well as worrying about unfamiliar roads you worry about straying into the CAZ!

Seeline · 18/04/2023 18:01

@crazycrofter she's still waiting for a hospital appointment with a consultant, but Dr seemed happy to say that's what it is. Not having much luck with medication yet, so pain still a major issue.

Heifer · 18/04/2023 18:20

I didn't realise your DD/DS had black boxes. DD doesn't have one and I've just checked and only 1 from her 9 friendship group does. I remember years ago all teenagers having them. Do you think it's less popular now because people are sticking their teens on their insurance rather than the teenager having their own insurance - due to how flipping expensive it's become?