Thread 45 GCSE Covid Cohort - Bunnies bouncing into Spring

[OrangeCinnamonLatte]

This is a support thread for our young adults post GCSEs 2020, regardless of their educational setting, and their results ( or life updates for those who went into work or have had results earlier). It is respectfully requested that all are supportive and helpful to each other. If you want to start a debate, e.g state vs private, uni vs employment please don't within this thread.

Some of us have been here since first thread back in yr10, some will be new. Everyone has been friendly and helpful in the past. Everyone is welcome. It is hoped this will continue. We were previously on the secondary board and then further education, now we shall be here in 'Parents of Adult Children' gulp

Our DS/DD may continue down various pathways ( employment, apprenticeships, higher ed). Be warned there might be lots of 'Uni Freshers' chat this time of year. My experience is that everyone is welcomed wherever, whatever their child is doing we have some in work, gap years , apprenticeships etc too. Lots of contributors with different experiences and always sympathy and advice to be had

previous thread

So were we, they just like to conveniently forget these things when it suits them.

It probably helps though that Ds was one of the most priveleged students at college and most of his friends don’t get parental top ups. So he knows anything we give him over and above the amount of full loan such as the occasional train fayre home is an advantage & he is really lucky.

@JustHereWithMyPopcorn I have DS's law timetable. Just sayin' 😉

By contrast, all DD’s friends are better off than her and like to go to expensive club nights/eat out/spend money! I really struggle to know what’s fair - and if I added up all the money that she’s ‘borrowed’ or little top ups she’s requested, I’m sure she’s not doing too badly!

Sometimes I (or my parents) will give ds a bit of extra money if I know he is going on a night out with friends and tell him to buy the drinks for them. A friend from another uni went to visit him last week and that is what we did.

@mummyinbeds so do I (DS doesn't know that though!) but he has screen shot his timetable and it does look different to the one Notts website so I was a bit unsure, Wednesday is blank and he normally has lectures on a Weds morning.

@crazycrofter and @Comefromaway we do pay for bits and pieces (like petrol) when he's home but I'm not giving him £60/week.

@JustHereWithMyPopcorn looking at the timetable I can log in to (as DS) he has lectures Weds morning, two on Thursday afternoon and a lecture, tutorial and seminar on friday. Plus some French. He's always moaning he has more to do than LLB students but only the 4-5 on Friday is BA only. I know a few have been cancelled recently but would be strange for that many to disappear 🤔

DS apparently has less disposable income than all his friends. I give him money weekly to top up to max loan - he struggled to budget when I transferred it monthly but tells me he's managing okay now. He's cut down on train fares home which is where most of his money went. He's getting a week away with us at Easter (family wedding so couldn't not take him) and I don't think he's got any work lined up for the other 3 weeks. I'll provide meals but that will be it. Somehow, I have to fund two of them next year (and both doing 4 year degrees)

We top up from min loan to max loan and like others we asked DS how he wanted it spread. After paying the extra rent and a small lump sum up front to get started it worked out at £4,500. He chose £100 per week for 45 weeks, which I think makes great sense. It means he will continue to get the £100 during Easter and for most of July I think. Gives him some leeway until usually we would expect him to work in the summer.

He says his £100 per week is plenty and on the better off side of most people he is with. (He completely admits his previous overspending was being frivolous).

DS's meeting with the head of his course went well last week. They have signposted some support (which I doubt he will access...) and it turns out that if he does really well this semester he may not have to do the August resits. Unfortunately we don't know that until semester 2 results come out in July sometime. (Website just says 'July' at the moment which is annoying). So he will have to study in June/July as if he has resits, even if he doesn't have to resit the exams then he needs to catch up on those subjects as they will come up again in the second year.

So we stick to the latest plan of not wanting him to work for most of the summer. He has savings but I guess we will support him to an extent, will have to wait and see. Ordinarily I would be shoving him out the door but circumstances are a bit different this year.

We do also pay for his mobile and train fares home but he doesn't come back often as it's a long way.

We also top up to maximum loan, plus train fares (again, only once a term; long journey!) DD asked for it spread over the whole year, so we do that. She will rebuild the 'reserves' over the summer, unless she spends some of it travelling, in which case she'll need a job...

Next year, the rent is payable in 10 instalments starting in August for a 12 month rental starting in September!!! This will play merry hell with her budget as first loan comes in after two (high) rent payments. My solution would be to take some money from savings (fortunately she has those) as a "buffer" and aim to have that amount left in account at end of year (after those three final rent-free months). BUT I will sit down with her over the course of the summer and see what she thinks, and talk her through working out the budget for herself (she'll have about £40-£50/week for expenses).

We paid the first year's rent as our contribution this year, because DS was pretty anxious about managing his money, so he lives off the (minimum) loan but he also gets PIP and has been given some cash by grandparents which covers his driving lessons. He will be at home over the summer and working full time on a voluntary placement for 6 weeks but does have a fairly healthy balance at the moment and his social life is pretty quiet here outside the hockey season, not planning to top him up over the summer just feed him and pay for him to come on holiday with us.

We are very lucky in that DS gets full maintenance loan (thank you Welsh Govt) but I had a wry chuckle of recognition at Just - holiday abroad with pals followed by pleading poverty, very familiar.

DS has never done a day's work in his life so I am not subsidising his social life, if he needs more money he can work for it. He's home for months over the summer so could save a lot if he wanted to.

We do offer lifts home or train tickets, I don't want him to be miserable and not be able to afford to come home. Train tickets to see his friends do not come under my cost centre though.

We paid rent and tuition fees and give DD £10 per day plus an extra £50 per month (which works out at £4250 per year). She’s a qualified lifeguard, so tends to earn reasonably well in the holidays.

Thanks for all your comments re DD, especially yours @Oblomov23 - love the abbrev Heffs, made me feel proper special. Your DS experience is exactly what I was hoping for DD - and expected tbh. I am very disappointed for her but some of it is definitely her own fault. Just hope the next 2 years are better.

Re clear room out day - It's not worth DH collecting her stuff earlier as he would still have to collect her on the day if train strikes are on, she won't stay later as there is a hockey club end of season do at home and she has way too much stuff to leave with another friend and rather than actually asking them she would take the easy option of saying if DH can't collect her on the day she will come home earlier (which we don't want as would miss practical)...

I too originally said I wouldn't be giving DD any money whilst at home, but have now decided I may actually give her some during April (£50). This is because she has actually sorted out work during the holidays but not so much that she doesn't have time to revise and she will need £ to spend with her friends when socialising. She has spent far more than expected this term, mainly on food as the food in Rutland is now so bad according to DD, so doesn't have any left over (we top up her loan which when divided by 31 weeks works out at £65 pw) She hasn't been out more than twice a week socialising this term although is spending more when BF visits as I think pays for his food etc as feels bad he has to come to her, I have asked her to stop this next year as I'm not funding that.

I just want this year over with tbh - want her to get to the end, and wait and see how she gets on. Hopefully has done enough work to do well enough in her exams etc. She got 75% Hallmarks of Cancer Module which finished in Jan so that is 1 module passed and whilst we don't think she is attending enough lectures etc hopefully what she is doing is enough and working for her.
During the holidays I want her to think long and hard about what she wants and if she def wants to stay on (she says she does) but what can she do differently to enjoy it more next year, rather than just endure it.

Really pleased to hear about most are now enjoying uni life and really settled.

That does all sound very complicated re end of term @Heifer. It sounds as though she is doing enough academically to get through year 1, as you say, hopefully the summer break will give her time to reflect on next steps. DS is spending more on food than we expected too because of limitations of catered options, he rarely gets up on time for breakfast so eats a lot at lunch (which isn't included) and then dinners seem to be hit and miss, he's eating rather a lot of takeaways.

I've been thinking that Nottingham may be a good choice for dd in a couple of years, but the food situation is putting me off...

I’d probably just go self catered @NCTDN . Although dd does like being in the thick of things on campus.

She’s also been buying food more than expected @Heifer . We give £50 a week but I’ve had to give more two or three times this term. She texted today to ask if it’s ok to just do 3 shifts a week in the holidays so she’s got time for uni work - she is behind because of being unwell and we obviously want her to catch up. She’s just aiming to pass the year.

She’s had quite a few birthday parties/meals to go to which I think have messed up the budget.

@heifer I think dd should seriously think whether she’d be better off transferring to a uni near home and commuting, if the relationship is serious. I just think it’s hard to have your feet in two camps. But of course at this age relationships can’t be relied upon to last so maybe that would be foolish?

Catering sounds grim in some of your DCs’ places. You need DD to feed them (non-veggies at least). Seriously, eating out’s so expensive where she is, she has no choice but to weekend prep her week’s meal plan.

Chicken, leek and sausage pie 🥧

Food looks amazing @ealingwestmum !

Sorry to hear about difficulties with food and not enjoying things. Doesn’t sound as though DS will be able to get a cheaper room next year in college so that is seriously going to impact him. He is pretty frugal but is on full maintenance loan and full bursary due to our personal circumstances so it is a shame he couldn’t get a pick for a cheap band short contract room but he was the last name in the ballot sadly hence the mega pricey option.

He is lifeguarding and revising over Easter so not very restful. Has exams week 0. His lifeguarding certification expires in July and he’s not renewing it as doesn’t work enough to justify it so needs different summer job. He is hoping to get at least four days at the Great Yorkshire Show which takes place at the end of our road - handy! But after that he needs something else to fill the summer weeks and pay for that stupid room!!

@craggyrat that is such bad luck about the room. Shame no one wants to swap, it’s an awful difference in the amount of money.

@Heifer so difficult for your Dd. I guess Easter is the time to have some non-time pressured chats with her and talk through all options. Good luck.

like @singingstones train tickets home are on us but train tickets to see friends are not in our remit. In fact he’s spending £70 on a train to see friends this week. The £70 came from his savings. They are people he hasn’t seen for a while though so will be worth it for him.

@280NeuerNamen it seems as though others want to swap but I don’t think it’s allowed. I guess they would be inundated with kids faffing about over room choice but it seems a shame when there is a genuine reason. £3k more is a lot to find. If it was the same short contract he was on it would be £1.5k more. Ah well. Hopefully nearer the time there may be a vacancy in a cheaper room come up. I shouldn’t really complain as the college are generally very good and at least he is on site.

@ealingwestmum If I showed him that DS would want an introduction to your DD.

@Heifer I hope she enjoys the hockey night out. DS is going to training with his home team this week. Can't play as home and uni teams are in the same league but I thought it was lovely they heard he was home and said come on down.

The silver lining of Covid was that DS1 barely spent anything in his first year, so built up his savings which added to the money he earned in his gap year pre-Covid and meant that he has been able to live fairly easily on his max loan budget (including top up). Some of his friends are super rich (because it is St Andrews), but others have less than him, so he is probably a bit below average, but luckily for affordable accommodation. His money is spread over September to end of May. No summer holiday funding.

I have not worked out what to do for DS2 yet. He would have been very happy with shared bathroom accommodation, but wants to be in a flat of 5/6 with a space to socialise and the Ziggs flats are just too big (and beds too short). That probably means he will go for the village en suite (which we thought was very nice), but would leave him with less than £100/week for everything else. He can bump it up with a choral scholarship and has saved money in his gap year, but visiting GF in Nottingham won't be cheap. I really don't like the way accommodation became such a business!

How much is it for the year @craggyrat ? That does seem a very backward system of allocating rooms! They ought to allow people to state an upper limit. I always thought Oxbridge was cheaper than other unis.

I’ve always felt that it’s good for students to learn to balance paid work and study as it’s better preparation for real life, where there’s always lots of things to juggle. My first job was my accountancy training contract, which meant work in the day and study in the evening. I’d always worked in the holidays - and in termtime too during third year - so I managed, but some people struggled.

Having said that, I wouldn’t want dd to get low grades because of part time work.