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Parents of adult children

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Original poster

Im starting to dislike sons Gf

33 replies

Jeansandjumper75 · 26/12/2022 16:36

Son has been a long distance relationship with girl for 2 yrs. She lives with her parents rent free and they wait on her hand and foot. When he brings her to my home she’s shows no interest in us, never says thank you for gifts/hospitality.
If I post pictures of my son and his sister together having fun, she’ll immediately post pictures of her and my son together.
Im trying my best, but I get the feeling she’d be quite happy if it was just her family and my son.

OP posts:
Mostmarriedcouple · 26/12/2022 16:43

She doesn’t sound great, but if your son (presumably) loves her, then I really think it would be a good idea to try a bit more to build a bond with her. I know she should be making more of an effort but the danger is here you might “lose” your son to her if she tries to turn him against your family. Do you chat with her at all? On whatsapp or similar?

justasking111 · 26/12/2022 16:47

Not the hill to die on.

Three sons every girl they brought home were welcomed equally. Hedge your bets and keep schtum.

Two are married to lovely women now 😁

Original poster
Jeansandjumper75 · 26/12/2022 16:52

I’m very close to all my children 28 and 26 and 15. I raised them as a single parent.
I’ve tried to make her welcome, I’m finding her upbringing has been very different to my sons and she isn’t very worldly wise. She’s 23.
She damaged something in my house, rather than take responsibility, she tried to place the blame on my 15yr old

OP posts:
averylongtimeago · 26/12/2022 16:55

Keep quiet- say nothing and always be nice even if your saying it how it is in your head
If you let your feelings show, you will give her ammunition and push your son more towards her.

He will see her true nature soon enough.

mintbiscuit · 26/12/2022 17:01

Genuine question but what does your son see in her/get from the relationship?

AutumnCrow · 26/12/2022 17:03

She damaged something in my house, rather than take responsibility, she tried to place the blame on my 15yr old

I wouldn't be having that, if I had proof. Do you have proof?

Original poster
Jeansandjumper75 · 26/12/2022 17:04

He’s away a lot, in the forces so doesn’t see her for months at a time. I don’t know if he’d feel differently if they were together all the time

OP posts:
Original poster
Jeansandjumper75 · 26/12/2022 17:06

Yes, everyone knew it was her. My 15 yr old was in total disbelief. This is what stated the dislike

OP posts:
Hopeyoursproutsarealreadyon · 26/12/2022 17:07

What did ds say about his gf lying?

Original poster
Jeansandjumper75 · 26/12/2022 17:09

He said he’d foot the bill for the damage.

It was never about money, it’s the lying I can’t accept

OP posts:
AutumnCrow · 26/12/2022 17:13

You don't have to have her in your house. The 'happy couple' are in their 20s and can sort themselves out.

I don't like liars either.

Original poster
Jeansandjumper75 · 26/12/2022 17:13

He wasn’t impressed and wasn’t happy about her blaming his sister. I have no idea if he raised it with her later on

OP posts:
Weepachu · 26/12/2022 17:19

She sounds crap. Next time your son is posted away can you set up some sort of “honey trap” (can’t think of the right phrase) for her? i.e. fake online profile of a hot guy, slide into her DMs, arrange a meet, etc. Your son may be angry at you for a bit but at least it would get him away from her. She doesn’t sound like wife material at all.

Sandra1984 · 26/12/2022 17:26

Weepachu · 26/12/2022 17:19

She sounds crap. Next time your son is posted away can you set up some sort of “honey trap” (can’t think of the right phrase) for her? i.e. fake online profile of a hot guy, slide into her DMs, arrange a meet, etc. Your son may be angry at you for a bit but at least it would get him away from her. She doesn’t sound like wife material at all.

Terrible idea that will sure backfire on the OP. Gf sounds like a spoiled princess. I would have a chat with my son about the broken item and dating someone who takes zero responsabilty for anything and expects people to serve her with a silver plate.

Original poster
Jeansandjumper75 · 26/12/2022 17:28

I credit my son with intelligence and to see beyond, Im hoping he comes to the conclusion she’s not long term because shes shown she will lie to cover her own back. Not someone to trust

OP posts:
Original poster
Jeansandjumper75 · 26/12/2022 17:32

My thoughts exactly.

relationships are give and take, working together. She’s very much akin to the entitled breed. I’d could see her taking my son ‘to the cleaners’

OP posts:
Justnosing · 26/12/2022 17:33

Weepachu · 26/12/2022 17:19

She sounds crap. Next time your son is posted away can you set up some sort of “honey trap” (can’t think of the right phrase) for her? i.e. fake online profile of a hot guy, slide into her DMs, arrange a meet, etc. Your son may be angry at you for a bit but at least it would get him away from her. She doesn’t sound like wife material at all.

Are you having an actual laugh???

Justleaveitblankthen · 26/12/2022 17:34

I couldn't get past her blaming my DD. She had every right to be outraged!
She wouldn't get a warm welcome back into my home anytime soon.
Hopefully your DS will see her true colours soon enough.

AutumnCrow · 26/12/2022 17:34

So what are you going to do?

Did she or your forces son ever say sorry to his little sister?

Sandra1984 · 26/12/2022 17:38

Jeansandjumper75 · 26/12/2022 17:28

I credit my son with intelligence and to see beyond, Im hoping he comes to the conclusion she’s not long term because shes shown she will lie to cover her own back. Not someone to trust

You may need to have a friendly chat with him in order to help him reach that conclusion.

Original poster
Jeansandjumper75 · 26/12/2022 17:40

No apology from her!
Son came to see me and she wasn’t with him.
15yr old has ‘marked her card’ and like me it now not keen on her.
I feel in a difficult position, obvs I don’t want to hurt my son. Normally I’m very direct about things, but this has tested me

OP posts:
Weepachu · 26/12/2022 17:40

Sandra1984 · 26/12/2022 17:26

Terrible idea that will sure backfire on the OP. Gf sounds like a spoiled princess. I would have a chat with my son about the broken item and dating someone who takes zero responsabilty for anything and expects people to serve her with a silver plate.

Show quote history

Yes absolutely, but if he’s lovestruck he might not listen to reason. This is just the nuclear option should all else fail.

miltonj · 26/12/2022 17:41

Weepachu · 26/12/2022 17:19

She sounds crap. Next time your son is posted away can you set up some sort of “honey trap” (can’t think of the right phrase) for her? i.e. fake online profile of a hot guy, slide into her DMs, arrange a meet, etc. Your son may be angry at you for a bit but at least it would get him away from her. She doesn’t sound like wife material at all.

Mental behaviour

Original poster
Jeansandjumper75 · 26/12/2022 17:45

I agree, if nothing else it will make him think. I will reinforce that honestly and trust are key in a healthy relationship

OP posts:
Beansontoast45 · 26/12/2022 17:47

She sounds like a horror but you will be playing right into her hands if you cause an issue. I wouldn’t go out of my way to be nice to her, but be civil and pleasant. I’m sure it will fizzle out. If you make an issue you son will side with her.