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Parents of adult children

Wondering how to stop worrying about your grown child? Speak to others in our Parents of Adult Children forum.

Thread 43 - GCSE Covid Cohort ..November 22 Remember Remember

1000 replies

OrangeCinnamonLatte · 01/11/2022 07:14

This is a support thread for our young adults post GCSEs 2020, regardless of their educational setting, and their results ( or life updates for those who went into work or have had results earlier). It is respectfully requested that all are supportive and helpful to each other. If you want to start a debate, e.g state vs private, uni vs employment please don't within this thread.

Some of us have been here since first thread back in yr10, some will be new. Everyone has been friendly and helpful in the past. Everyone is welcome. It is hoped this will continue. We were previously on the secondary board and then further education, now we shall be here in 'Parents of Adult Children' gulp

Our DS/DD may continue down various pathways ( employment, apprenticeships, higher ed). Be warned there might be lots of 'Uni Freshers' chat this time of year. My experience is that everyone is welcomed wherever, whatever their child is doing we have some in work, gap years , apprenticeships etc too. Lots of contributors with different experiences and always sympathy and advice to be had

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PhotoDad · 01/12/2022 20:47

@craggyrat DD showed us round her patch of Cambridge when we went down (a strip which runs from the Botanic Gardens up to Jesus Green, taking in the free museums and galleries) and there was a lot of walking. She told me that a couple of days ago there were some protestors on Parker's Piece, complaining against the forthcoming "low emissions zone" around Cambridge for cars. She really, really, doesn't usually swear... but she did in that message, with her opinions of the protest! Cambridge is already a traffic nightmare. I think I'd be happy to pay to drive in for collecting stuff, but she's going to get the train home and back for Christmas as she can leave stuff in her rooms.

This will be the first time she's tackled a solo train journey involving a change, but she's grown up so much in the last months that I don't think it will be a problem. Fingers crossed!

ProggyMat · 01/12/2022 20:49

@ScarlettDarling Tbh I’m not exactly sure as I’m working 6 days a week at the moment!
I can remember her sending a screenshot of her (cheap) train ticket and moaning that she had to change at York and stored in my memory that her train would ‘get back ( to God’s allotment 😂)
roughly about 5pm’’ish.
Since then, after another question about ‘when’, the ETA has changed to 4pm - but I’m not convinced!
She’s at a black tie ‘bop’ tonight at another college and has her end of term ‘academic report’ meeting tomorrow- at sometime point the correct ETA will be established at some point I’m sure!
I can’t say Ive missed the ‘overspill’
from DDs room into mine - particularly the ‘shite’ stored on my bed just as I want an early night- amongst other things! 😂
But yes it’s been a long time and I want my lass back as does Ddog who has fretted dreadfully since she went.
Not long though- 2 more sleeps! 😊

PhotoDad · 01/12/2022 20:58

@ProggyMat I was there many many years ago, and there was a regular academic review meeting with the Master (or President or Dean in other colleges) called "handshaking." It was a terrifying 10 minutes where you stood there while your tutors gave a brutal verbal report to the head honcho. If they actually shook your hand it meant you were going to be expelled, so the name was somewhat pessimistic! I can't imagine much has changed since.

Then start of term exams (to ensure that you work over the holidays!) called 'collections.' Do they still exist?

ScarlettDarling · 01/12/2022 21:12

@ProggyMat @PhotoDad This is the first I’ve heard about an end of term report/ review!😳
@ProggyMat Ds was at his college Christmas formal on Tuesday night, out clubbing last night, at some Christmas do tonight and then farewell night out on Friday night. Don’t know how he does it!
@PhotoDad I know that ds does have exams when he goes back in January so he’ll be putting in the hours over the hols. But he’s still going to be doing a few shifts a week at his old part time job to earn his going out money!

ProggyMat · 01/12/2022 21:13

@PhotoDad She has to wear her gown at the meeting but given she hadn’t had ‘a roasting’ - her words-in her tutorials or in any feedback from her essays, she reckons ‘all is okay’!
Lets hope no one shakes her hand!
And yes, she has ‘collections’ in 0 week next term - as she had in ‘freshers week’

ProggyMat · 01/12/2022 21:21

@ScarlettDarling I found out about the ‘academic review’ via MN!
I asked DD if she’d had hers and she said that her’s is ‘in person’ tomorrow and that a written report would also be available.

EspeciallyD · 01/12/2022 21:22

I have seen DS today. I spent a leisurely day Christmas shopping and coffee drinking in the Cotswolds then took him out for a meal this evening. He is OK about the wallet now, his friends persuaded him to try getting into the club with a photo of his driving licence yesterday and he was successful (and hungover). Sorry, I feel as though I have been wittering on about this for ages.

Tomorrow is going to be a hard day, I have got an 8 hour round trip by train to go to a friend's
funeral. He wasn't much older than me.

PhotoDad · 01/12/2022 21:25

@ScarlettDarling @ProggyMat Things vary depending on college, so timings of the reviews (and the traditions attached to them, and the names for things) might well be different.

Well after I left, I stumbled across "The Adventures of Mr. Verdant Green" which is a genuinely funny Victorian comic novel about a first-year student at Oxford (including one of the best ever literary descriptions of a hangover). Christmas prezzie idea?

ScarlettDarling · 01/12/2022 21:35

@ProggyMat Its just as well I have MN to find out some Oxford traditions because if I waited for ds to tell me anything I wouldn’t have a clue. I’ll let him get home before I grill him on his end of term report though.
@PhotoDad I’m going to look for the comic novel you suggested right now. If ds doesn’t appreciate it I know I’d love it!

ProggyMat · 01/12/2022 21:53

@PhotoDad - just had a ‘quick google- gotta love his college! 😂

crazycrofter · 01/12/2022 23:05

Sorry to hear about the funeral @EspeciallyD 😢

Can’t believe some of you are collecting your kids this weekend! That’s gone so quickly!

Dd is coming home on Sunday night for an interview for a zero hours warehouse job here. I hope this is less of a waste of time than the 5 min Tesco interview she came home for which resulted in a no! She also starts her ten days work at Wollaton Hall on Saturday and as she doesn’t finish til 9 on Sunday I’ve said I’ll pick her up.

This will be my third visit to Nottingham, or fourth if you count the drop off! She’s in contact so much that honestly this term hasn’t felt much different to when she lived at home, but was always out - and texting me! And I’m sure the holidays will be more of the same with her sleeping over here there and everywhere. I haven’t missed my taxi job..,

craggyrat · 02/12/2022 08:21

@EspeciallyD - glad your DS is more resigned re the wallet and stressing less. That kind of thing always throws me into an absolute tailspin. I hope the funeral goes as well as it can. Sounds very sad.

@EwwSprouts - DS turned up unexpectedly as we were sat in Starbucks so have been hugging and patting him repeatedly which he has accepted with good grace. Had to laugh though as yesterday we took him to Pizza Express and he was obviously desperate to be polite but equally desperate to go back and see his friends as that was the last official night of term.

@ProggyMat - hope your journey isn’t too horrendous. Cambridge does look lovely with Christmas stuff - especially John Lewis! - but it’s not Harrogate !! (Won’t say that to DS obviously…)

@PhotoDad - my DS and your DD are probably geographically close! He is at the nearest college to Parker’s Piece and ARU so we have walked up and down there to the Premier Inn sooo many times this weekend! He swims at Parkside Pool. We saw loads of signs yesterday saying no to the congestion zone. The traffic here is absolutely crazy. Hope the solo train goes well. DS never done that either yet but the change in him yesterday was astonishing. He is an adult now!

He had his academic meeting with report yesterday and was very happy afterwards. Today he has some kind of two hour training on his academic rep thing and then a cocktail party (!) and then we are home first thing tomorrow. He’s working Sunday am back at the pool. I think his Christmas plans are to swim quite a bit at home if possible, do a few lifeguarding shifts and then he has quite a lot of work to do for next term. Term starts 17 January but he is going g back 7 January to get library access as he can go back to his room then.

Heifer · 02/12/2022 09:35

DD is home for the weekend. Was so nice to sit with her late last night. Started off as always when I try to chat, hold on Mum I'm watching/reading but then she suddenly opens up and chats away. Ended up going to bed at 1.30am! which is how it used to be but since she has been to uni I've been going to bed around 11.30pm so I am knackered this morning.

I've booked her a passport renewal appt in Liverpool this afternoon as only has 4 months left on it and wants to go to Amsterdam in Jan so can't risk sending it away to get renewed in case it's not back in time. Appt in person means she will get a new one within 5 days.

She caught the train home on her own for the first time last night - I know it's not a big deal for a lot of people, but it was for her. She even got to the station in Nottingham 15 mins before the train left which is a massive improvement.

Seems she is going ahead with the £150pw house - had to pay £150 to secure it yesterday. She seems really happy with it - and the group of people sharing with her (3 girls) It's not the original group she had planned because people changed in the group and was going to end up as 3 boys and 3 girls and 1 of the girls she disliked so changed groups. Someone local to here (friend of a friend) and none of them hockey players which DD said she preferred as doesn't want to have to hold Freshers bashing parties in her house as a 2nd year. She seems so pleased to be playing for the local club now rather than the uni. She can get a tram from Lenton to the hockey club so that's good.

I can't believe some of your DD/DS are breaking up so soon but then they started sooner than DD. She goes back for 2 weeks then is home for at least a month. She doesn't know exactly how long yet as the exam timetable doesn't come out until next week. Her lectures don't start until 30th Jan but she may need to be back before for exams (I don't think she has any idea where/where)....

She said she doesn't like this no heating thing in our house - I explained the heating was on and had been for 5 hours before she got home and had been on every day recently because it's been so cold. She is so used to uni room being HOT which she loves but her boyfriend struggles.

@crazycrofter good luck to your DD for her interview. Fingers crossed for her. DD was singing her praises last night saying how lovely and fun she is - and is really pleased we put them together as they never would have come across each other otherwise :-)

She said se had meet some boys upstairs from her who she really liked so if any of your lads are in H block at Rutland perhaps it;s them (I think most of you seem to be in A)?

Loved the last picture you posted @PhotoDad would definitely put that up on my wall.

@EspeciallyD I hope the funeral goes as well as can do under the circumstances, hope you're ok too.

@ScarlettDarling made me smirk you finding out info from here rather than your DS - story of my life with my DD & DH I find out much more talking to other people!

@craggyrat well done to your DS - if Carlberg did Uni first terms .... ;-)

@omnishambles good luck with the househunting - I thought DD had expensive tastes but she tells me some of her friends have houses for £170 which doesn't include bills!!!

@Monkey2001 good luck for your DS interview on Monday, he seems like he will smash it :-) I've been really impressed with what you've posted about him, really sounds like he has his head screwed on, hard working and know what he wants.

@Piggywaspushed I had no idea re 52 weeks contract means students cleaning - as you say no wonder so many complain at the state of them when they move in! Thankfully DDs is 50 weeks so hoping will be ok.

Hope all your DD/DS are ok now, really sorry if I've missed anything I will go back and read all again later today as so much has been posted - whcih is great. Who knew back in Yr10 this thread would still be going :-)

EspeciallyD · 02/12/2022 09:56

Thanks all re funeral. I'm on my way now, it's in Liverpool which is a long old trek from here but I have my kindle and my crochet to keep me company.

Monkey2001 · 02/12/2022 10:16

@EspeciallyD best wishes for the funeral. It is sad when people from the generation above die, but awful when our own contemporaries and younger people die.

Oblomov22 · 02/12/2022 12:48

That's a good update Heiffer.
good luck especiallyD.

Ds just text to say they lost out on a house. Are you all asking to see their contracts? to make sure they don't sign up to something unknowingly?

Oblomov22 · 02/12/2022 13:03

I'm not happy. Ds says the Notts house market is quite dry atm and they are all under quite a lot of pressure - all have 3 pieces of coursework due in, in the next 2 weeks. So they are hoping more houses get released in January.

The moment he mentioned January my heart sank.

crazycrofter · 02/12/2022 14:54

I’m pretty sure there will be lots more houses in Jan @Oblomov22 . I think a lot of them have rusted into expensive houses because they thought there was a limited pool, but DD’s house only came on the market last Thursday. Can he sign up for a house now though, if he’s not going to be around the first term?

Glad you’ve had a good time with dd @Heifer - they always open up late at night don’t they! That’s lovely feedback about my dd, I’m glad they get on well. I get the impression they’ve got different friendship groups, but they meet up for meals in hall together, which is nice.

KingscoteStaff · 02/12/2022 16:14

@Monkey2001 Another good luck for your boy's interview!

Oblomov22 · 02/12/2022 16:30

Hope so Crazy. Re more houses in Jan. Ds seems completely unbothered. I am bothered. He keeps telling me to chill. Hmm

Benjispruce4 · 02/12/2022 18:41

DD1 had 52 week contract in Durham but landlord also deducted from deposit for a professional clean. They screw you whichever way they choose.
DD2 is getting on well at work and is now able to wfh most days. It’s boosted her confidence but also made her realise she wants a degree so a win win.

Piggywaspushed · 02/12/2022 18:45

Tat isn't allowed any more benji. Definitely not!

Piggywaspushed · 02/12/2022 18:46

I have just tested positive for Covid (again...) so am feeling very sorry for myself.

Heifer · 02/12/2022 19:06

@Oblomov22 I've told DD a responsible adult needs to see the contract so if not us, another parent at least. Apparently one of the parents is a lawyer she is going to look at it (phew).
Has already changed from what they were told though - was told 50 and now 52 weeks (not great after Piggys cleaning info)..
@Oblomov22 DD says they are expecting more to keep coming on for ages yet, comes in clusters so she said don't worry (says the girl signing up to £150 pw!).

@crazycrofter Yes DD mentioned she used to meet to eat together once a week but had stopped since your DD had a week off but she wants to start it up again so is going to have a word to see if your DD is free. I think it was just a timing of classes that stopped them socialising more (9.00am lectures stopped my DD clubbing during the week and early hockey matches stopped Fri night too).

ah @Piggywaspushed really hope you're not feeling rough. I guess being a teacher does put you more at risk than most :-(

The appt at the passport office was a breeze - literally took DD 5 mins! I had to wait a LOT longer than that in the changing room in Liverpool One though.. Ended up buying her a pair of cargos and sweatshirt even though it's her bday and Christmas this month! Had a nice lunch first though in a small cafe. Was really nice spending time with her. Rushed back so she could plan her evening...

Hope you all have a nice weekend whatever you get up to. Piggy have some chicken soup and watch netflix

crazycrofter · 02/12/2022 19:30

@Monkey2001 i missed your ds having an interview - when and where?

@heifer dd won’t be making many meals the rest of this term as she’s got a job at Wollaton Hall from 3-9 most days! She cancelled her shift to make the Rutland formal though, is your dd going?

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