Thread 43 - GCSE Covid Cohort ..November 22 Remember Remember

[OrangeCinnamonLatte]

This is a support thread for our young adults post GCSEs 2020, regardless of their educational setting, and their results ( or life updates for those who went into work or have had results earlier). It is respectfully requested that all are supportive and helpful to each other. If you want to start a debate, e.g state vs private, uni vs employment please don't within this thread.

Some of us have been here since first thread back in yr10, some will be new. Everyone has been friendly and helpful in the past. Everyone is welcome. It is hoped this will continue. We were previously on the secondary board and then further education, now we shall be here in 'Parents of Adult Children' gulp

Our DS/DD may continue down various pathways ( employment, apprenticeships, higher ed). Be warned there might be lots of 'Uni Freshers' chat this time of year. My experience is that everyone is welcomed wherever, whatever their child is doing we have some in work, gap years , apprenticeships etc too. Lots of contributors with different experiences and always sympathy and advice to be had

Previous Thread

Not really @Shimy ;-) Totally agree with you though, I have back off now I know it's doable on with her extra money.

I've missed the thread for a few days so am catching up a bit! DD hasn't considered houses yet. I've had a look on websites and can only find purpose-built student accommodation (at £140 - £££££ for all-inclusive) so far, so I assume that private rentals work to a different timetable. Something to talk about with her over the Christmas break!

Hi @Heifer

My DD has got a house for next year. She’s accepted the smallest room in the house because no one else wanted it. It’s very small but I think it’s ok because it’s not for that long and and we can make even the smallest of spaces look homely for a few months. It’s so small the wardrobe is outside the room!

I feel a little bit sad because she’s the one that did all the organisation for the house and got everyone together and the low budget for a small house was set by someone else. Back in my day, the one who did the organising got first choice of rooms. Everyone has to pay £100 each plus bills are not included.

Still, it’s done now and she seems ok with it so it’s all good. I don’t hear as much from her these days. I get the odd text.

Sorry to hear about DS and the meds etc hassle @Cantonet , you too @Shimy. It is hard for them and parents. My DS has lost his wallet and phoned me last night to tell me (I sometimes wish he wouldn’t because I worry more than he does but wouldn’t tell him that, I have had a lifetime of not telling my DM my woes because it makes her anxiety worse which has not helped our relationship). Of course it had both his bank cards in, even though I have told him to always keep one hidden in his room, and his driving licence. It has an airtag in but he says the tracking is just swinging about wildly and he can’t follow it (we only put it in last time he was home so I guess he hasn’t tried before). Anyway he has given his phone no to security in case it gets handed in. He has apple pay so he can unblock a card on the app, use apple pay then block it again. But won’t get served in pubs without the licence. He is being quite chilled as he’s always losing things and they usually turn up, but OTOH he does get upset and feels stupid that he can’t seem to stop losing things IYSWIM, dyspraxia can be a bugger. He completely lacks that ability to remember where he last used or saw something and it is quite an impairment.

@OrangeCinnamonLatte I have half a degree from the MK place too, did it about 10 years ago but couldn’t keep it up with managing the process of DS’s EHCP application, work and life in general, loved it though.

@EspeciallyD you can order another driving licence, costs about £30 and will probably arrive Weds/Thurs if you order today. I was considering getting spares! Hope it turns up anyway and that no fraud is attempted.

Congrats Orange.
Sort to hear of all woes. Yes Heifer ds said he had so many exams in Jan he thus wouldn't be able to do any shifts / earn money from his old job at local screwfix, over Christmas.

@EspeciallyD sorry to hear about the losses. I have a similar affliction (I suspect I have ADD, having read up about it for ds) and it's sooo frustrating! Both to me and to dh... When we were moving house, I discovered I possessed 2 marriage certificates, 2 birth certificates, 2 of ds' birth certificates and 3 birth certificates for dd! I've obviously ordered new ones each time I couldn't find them! But it was reassuring to know that everything turns up eventually...

Haven't heard anything about exams. DS has had lots of coursework and assessments constantly though

Well, as many of use know , there are people who lose and break things and there is my DS1...

@Cantonet So sorry to hear about the problems with executive function at your end too. DS did promise to see the GP the following Monday after we spoke and he called to confirm he had been for his appointment. I sighed with relief and asked if he knew where to collect his repeats from? he only just told me he never mentioned his repeats and just saw the GP about his cold. Can you believe it? (he'd forgotten! so he had to book yet another appointment and I'll find out today whether that went through or not.

@EspeciallyD Thanks. ADHD is very frustrating, I suspect ds1 also has ADD but not diagnosed as they both have the same underlying primary diagnoses. I bought airtags for both before they went and they've both lost them! some good news though, ds1 has managed to land a stupendous job offer for next yr when he graduates. We're beyond chuffed!

@Heifer Prayer works!

@crazycrofter I think as they continue to mature that do learn to accept first and foremost - That they are crap at organising, that are VERY forgetful, they do not estimate TIME well. DS will happily tell you he can get from London to Birmingham in 2hrs (because google says so), he doesn't understand things like traffic, the fact the tank is empty and you may need to fuel up, unforeseen delays etc

Once they recognise this, they are halfway to managing this part of their condition because they will develop systems to help them cope. DS for instance was managing not too badly at senior school, but then he had mum & school both helping and moping up behind him. Now they are on their own, they will realise pretty soon that they have to develop a more sophisticated system.

Oh I’m finding it so stressful just reading about all of the dc going flat hunting for next year😳😳 So pleased that my son’s college offers accommodation for all four years of his course. He’s in halls this year but next year will move to college owned flats (I think) further out of town. The accommodation is all the same price and it’s basically names out of a hat for who gets what.

He comes home one week today for Christmas. I’ve missed him so much and can’t wait to see him!

@ProggyMat Did your dd get sorted with storing her stuff over the hols? My son got an email a couple of weeks ago saying they didn’t need to empty their rooms after all, just bung their stuff in one corner so the rooms could be deep cleaned. My dh is going down to collect him anyway but it’ll be good not to have to bring home his duvet, pans etc!

DDs contract all signed by the 6 of them plus the 6 guarantors and deposit all paid within the holding deposit timescale. The landlord wants 11 post dated cheques with the agent in January (I realised after I read the contract that the last month is free so that makes it even cheaper). Another good thing is that DDs halls agreement is until 14 July and the house starts 1 July so should be able to move most stuff from one place to the other without bringing it all back home. Although it all seems slightly stressful I think it’s good for our DC to be doing some ‘adulting’!

@ScarlettDarling DD needs to clear her room completely by early next Saturday morning then she’ll be ‘lugging what’s left’ ( her call)!back home in a suitcase via trains- ETA back ‘oop North’ around 5’ish if my memory serves me well’
I can’t wait to see her after 9 weeks!
So far, one suitcase of her ‘stuff’ has been sent home via courier - the contents of which filled one of the copious Home Bargain bags that was driven down and lugged’ up to her room, as she ‘reckoned that she needs’ the rest….
She too found out she can store some stuff in her college- but not in her room- which I suspect has ‘dulled’ the emergency to get more stuff sent home!
That said, today she dropped me a text to ask me to book a collection for another ‘suitcase full’ to be collected on Monday
She too is fortunate in that she will be college accommodation for the four years if her course- decided each year by ‘room ballots’ but all at the price!

Sending positive vibes to all dealing with securing second year accommodation - some eye watering figures being quoted! 😱

• all at the same price

I am so cross with DS. He rang me at lunchtime to say his airtag (which is hopefully still in his wallet) was showing as being in the refectory/SU bar which are adjoining and both closed. I told him to go back there later and ask and let me know how he got on. Rings me about an hour ago from the pub - oh I forgot. He had eaten in the refectory. He doesn't usually get up on time to go for breakfast at the weekends but will be getting an alarm call from his me tomorrow.

@PaddingtonPaddington cheques??!! I’d better see if we have a chequebook for ANY of our bank accounts, just in case. Certain DD doesn’t have one 😁

I’m trying not to stress, and am telling DD it’ll be fiiiiine … but ugh, will be happier once she has something sorted. They went to see a house but it had already gone, so the agent took them to see another, but it was vile. Somewhat reassured some students still live like the Young Ones. Somewhat amused that it counters DH’s off-related story that female students are filthier than male (source data - the cleaners in Towers, Loughborough, early 90s). Doesn’t help her though.

Four of the five (not her) are seeing a place at 3 tomorrow and she’s worried it’ll be gone already. She’s clearly taken after me as the one who’s so stressed by it all she’ll agree to anything - “DCMB’s DD would live in a shed” has been said. So maybe as well she’s not seeing it, and hopefully the others will judge well. I’ve seen the listing and virtual tour and it does look nice - rooms look small but it at least they’re all similar.

DS is taking a very low engagement approach to housing and his planned housemates don't seem to have got started ye. I'm trying not to stress ... Apparently there's a wave of housing that comes out early Jan and that's when they are planning to look. However as he also tells me that people aren't looking round housing and just choosing based on pictures I'm not hugely trusting his sources here ;-)

I'm pretty sure that DD knows who she'll be sharing with (4 classmates). What I don't know if whether any of them are natural organisers/planners; DD isn't! So I hope that they get their act together.

DS is 'lead tenant'.My offspring do always seem rather willing to cast themselves in these roles.

DS has just been to Warwick to visit his mate. Only £4 on the train.

He was underwhelmed by the campus and its location so he has clearly become a loyal Brum student!

Ds has gone the other way today @Piggywaspushed to see his old friends. As usual, I can't get hold of him, his phone is going straight to answerphone and I'm worrying that he's run out of battery. He tends to do this... But living here, he can't get home without us picking him up from a station about 15 mins away and there's no buses on Sunday nights. There are 3 different stations in three different directions that he could decide to travel to so I can't even go to the station and wait! Every time he does this I think I must get his friends' numbers, but then it resolves itself and I forget! Wishing I had now....

Yes, I learnt to force friends' numbers out of DS1! Much eye rolling ensues. Hoep you track him down!

*hope

I also doubt he knows my number. Dd, who is the complete opposite and gives me her plans a week in advance, also knows my no so uses a friend’s phone if need be.

But I just remembered I have ds’ friend’s dad’s number and he’s confirmed that he can see they’re near New St from his tracker!