Thread 42 Corona GCSE Cohort - 👻Creeping it Real for Oct22

[CinnamonOrangeCremeBrulee]

This is a support thread for our young adults post GCSEs 2020, regardless of their educational setting, and their results ( or life updates for those who went into work or have had results earlier). It is respectfully requested that all are supportive and helpful to each other. If you want to start a debate, e.g state vs private, uni vs employment please don't within this thread.

Some of us have been here since first thread back in yr10, some will be new. Everyone has been friendly and helpful in the past. Everyone is welcome. It is hoped this will continue. We were previously on the secondary board and then further education, now we shall be here in 'Parents of Adult Children' gulp

Our DS/DD may continue down various pathways ( employment, apprenticeships, higher ed). Be warned there might be lots of 'Uni Freshers' chat this time of year. My experience is that everyone is welcomed wherever, whatever their child is doing we have some in work, gap years , apprenticeships etc too. Lots of contributors with different experiences and always sympathy and advice to be had.

previous thread

Thank you @PhotoDad your Dd artwork always makes me smile.

I have a thing about poster artwork esp. Tourist ones !

Gorgeous!

DD is feeling quite guilty compared to others - because she's not at all homesick! She has wondered about coming back for a weekend but more because she feels like she should. I've told her not to worry about coming back just to please us!

@PhotoDad Love the poster work!

@Heifer Is she playing hockey for her old team or just continuing with them when possible? DS played against his old team last Saturday as they are in the same league as his new team in Durham. An honourable draw was a satisfactory outcome!

@EwwSprouts She is playing with old club today as she is home. She is trying to find out if there is any chance of getting into uni team before next year (messed up registration for trials, didn't know there was preseason, went to wrong trial session etc) If not then she is going to try at Beeston. It's too far for her to come back to play for old club (2.5 hrs). Must have been strange for your DS to play against old team.

@JustHereWithMyPopcorn we’ve just gone the once, but it was both of us (we haven’t got other kids). I was very aware we shouldn’t just assume we could hang out in her flat for ages, and I didn’t want to, but it would have been quite awkward if we couldn’t be there for a while. And we were taking her quite a large bag of stuff! Only one of her flatmates was there - two had gone home for the weekend, one was working, not sure about #6.

It’s likely to be both of us all the time as it’s a fairly long journey and it’s good to have a second driver. Also unlikely either of us would pass up on a visit. The only way it might be just one is if I went on the train (DH is far less keen on public transport than me). But that would rely on Avanti West Coast stopping being shit, so …

@EerilyDevilled I was a primary school governor for eight years (DD’s school - I was there a year longer than her 😂) and have just started my second four year term with the local infant school. It’s as much work as you make it IMO but it needs there to be some people who make it quite a lot of work, IYSWIM. Most of the time I was with the previous school, and again now, the Chair was/is an active retired person. That helps as they have a lot of time and can be in the school a lot. It’s a bit of an issue with parent governors that they’re so busy with their kids (and jobs) they’re constrained on what they can do - and with younger kids they can’t do evening meetings if their single or their partner is out. It’s good to offer the extra flexibility that having older kids provides.

@Heifer She will have a lovely day with the ball to follow. Total sympathy about trials. DS also didn't know about pre season. Did get to drill trials but not called back to match play trials which he wasn't very happy about as had a good feel about who he had got past etc but such is life. No chance of a uni team place (6 teams) until next year. Super proud of DS as he has joined the city team. Beeston has a great set up. I've said to DS there is a lot to be said for also having some mates outside uni. There are a few other students down at the city club so a well trodden path. Playing old team I think was fun. He watsapps with the lads still and the men gave him a warm welcome. Later in the season will play the uni 1Vs !!

@PhotoDad Love your DDs poster work- especially the one with the red font!
@OrangeCinnamonLatte exciting times- well done!
@crazycrofter well done to your DS-hoping he isn’t sent to ask one of his work colleagues for a long stand! 😂
DD has sent lots of matriculation photos showing lots of happy DC - I reckon it’s going to be a long day and night of fun! 😊

I’ve only managed to have a quick peek at the thread over the last few days, but sounds like mostly positive news, which is lovely.

Well done, OrangeCinnamon and mini Crazy.

I had a lovely day yesterday, which included seeing Gaia in the cathedral (but no sign of a cat…).
Last night was my first unbroken night’s sleep in months - 10 hours straight…I don’t think I’d realised quite how much not having DCs at home was affecting me; I can feel myself relaxing again.

Oh my goodness, I have been so busy that I am about a thread behind! Going back now to catch up but hope all 'our' DC are thriving..

I have just been catching up with the thread. Not been on for a few days. It's great some of you are seeing your dc's. Ds is still not messaging much. He fid say he'd finally got his loan.

Talking of safe guarding up thread.....did any of you hear about the Suffolk teacher and head of safeguarding who has just been sent to prison for having over a million indecent pictures of young children? He taught ds2 in year 2 then he moved on to another school. Scary stuff 😱 I was quite shocked it wasn't pleasant reading. He seemed a great teacher, he was fairly quiet though, but he was only late 20's at the time. I sent Ds the article I won't say on here what Ds called him, but he couldn't believe it either. Head of safeguarding too. It made me wonder if dc's from our primary are among his images.

Still a few days behind but just need to acknowledge that I am not claiming credit for the Rutland recommendation as DS wanted self-catered and never looked at the campus halls. But glad to hear lots are enjoying it! (Have been stricken with the thought that by letting that go I was ok with stealing Heifer's deserved recognition 😳😂)

Sorry to hear about DC who have been / are struggling Volterra, Also, mummy and others. Every difficult moment is so magnified right now for those who are unwell and still finding their feet. I hope they all find their way soon.
Also I agree that telling the flatmates about her diagnosis would be helpful as DD wouldn't have to be anything other than herself then.

I love that self-care list Orange, I could do with something like that myself at the moment.

Doggerel I had no issue with explaining to DS that I would miss him and would be worrying about whether he was ok, so could he please keep in touch. Not sure if that is too needy
I do try not to ask too many questions other than very general "how's it going" type ones.
I haven't had any luck yet with video calls although he has said a few times that he will FaceTime and then hasn't.

DS seems fine, I asked him to rate his first couple of weeks out of 10 and he said "8, would have been 10 if I hadn't been ill". He texts most days with a question or a bit of idle chitchat. We got into House of the Dragon before he left so that helps, plenty to discuss there! He's coming home for the weekend on Friday, not sure yet how - I suspect like Heifer's DD he won't manage the train on his own, but if his friends are also coming home he will get the train with them.

ican, your post - must have been a shock to you all, and not one that you will just pass on by lightly I’m sure. I hope, even though it is crossing your mind, that your DS is amongst one of lucky ones if he was as surprised as you.

ican, how awful, proper shivers down the spine for you and DS.

Just back from Birmingham open day - dd2 loved it and I was impressed too, it's definitely going on the list. As we headed into the Music building, there was a brass band playing on the lawn outside...including one young male euphonium player...could it have been your ds, PiggyWasPushed?

@icanbewhatiwant Gosh that really brings home hiding in plain sight. Hope he hadn't acted on any impulse while at the school.

@icanbewhatiwant ooh! that must be such a shock for you and your DS, I honestly don't know how I would handle that both for you & especially your DS. Let's hope justice is served but more importantly the poor dc who were his victims able to find peace and heal. To add to that, just 2 days ago I saw a video posted by the mother of dc involving a case of abuse at a boarding school in my home country. I can't go into the details here but it was very traumatising listening to the mother's story. The most shocking part of it was the difference in the boy when he first went and how he now looked...he'd only been there 4 weeks! at least in this part of the world, victims can have some form of justice served the perpetrators but over there, no one cares! it'll all blow over and it'll be business as usual again. Sorry to go on a bit!

DS is thriving at uni, enjoying all the good stuff it's got to offer. For a person diagnosed with an anxiety disorder since he was small, this is nothing short of a miracle! no problems with flat, likes his flatmates, they're noisy but he seems to sleep well, getting up on time for classes, going outside his hall shaking hands and introducing himself......the only downer was he asked a girl out in his class and she was, unfortunately, a bit "abrupt" in what she said. I told him, "You're going to have to develop a thick skin! you have to expect that there will be, 'Yes's', some will be, 'Maybe', and some a flat, 'NO!'. He promised he was lovely about it and just shrugged and smiled at her and they're still friends.

@ZittiEBuoni I'm not surprised you liked Brum, DS fell in love with it as well when he saw it. It was his first offer and he liked it so much gushed if I could come here without seeing any of the others he had applied to. The campus is beautiful but the department was great too and the lecturers and Placement team actually came out to talk with the students and everyone had a one to one with them. The social scene looked good to.

Ha! No, that wasn't him! How funny!

Seems there were a lot of Open Days today. I miss the days out and the nosing.

Don't worry @singingstones I wasn't going to hold a grudge if you hadn't of said anything :-) Really pleased your DS has settled in and feeling better now. You don't sound needy at all, we just want to see they are ok and can't really tell just by texts.

@EwwSprouts sounds liked it's going well for your DS at Durham. Great that he is playing for local team. Seems made that he didn't make any uni team if he is playing in the league as their 1sts! Spoke to DD today about going to Beeston but she wants to just check if she can get an invite to training with the lower teams first.

I have to admit my kickstarting Oct hasn't happened. I've had a cold for over 3 weeks and it's held me back (along with feeling Meh about DD at uni too). I'm on half term for the next 2 weeks and with no DD around I plan to really catch up on sleep along with decluttering and cleaning and going from there. Want to plan 1 social event every week (coffee with friend, meal out, and moving onto playing tennis etc later when feeling up to you). Hope everyone else managed more than me so far.

@EerilyDevilled I was also a primary governor for 9 years, much as vice chair and also chaired one of the main committees. I found I had to put in quite a lot of time in order to do a worthwhile job of it rather than be just an ineffective bum on seat.

@Heifer you are not alone on the lack of Oct kickstart action. Very little done here but life is ridiculously busy for various reasons.

DD has decided to play hockey for Medics 1s rather than Uni 4s, and they won their first match today, which she is taking as a vindication! Only downside is that the Uni teams get a discount on the gym at the sports centre, but we’d said that we would pay for a gym membership, so it’s us who doesn’t get a discount, not her!

In other news, she met her first real life patient!

@KingscoteStaff Another happy hockey player! How were the nerves with first patient?

Just back from an open day with DD. I'm pleased to say she loved my old uni (no pressure 🤣) DD had a long chat with the course director, mainly about Africa, and she told DD she'd look forward to talking more in September 😁 We also got free doughnuts so a good day all round.

@crazycrofter I'll ask DS if he knows who the Psychology student in his corridor. I haven't heard from him at all today - the first day since he went. Sad but I'm seeing it as a positive.

Glad to hear that most of your DC are settling into uni and really sorry to hear about those who aren’t or have taken positive decisions to leave and reconsider. DS2 is off to Indonesia for a month in Tuesday which is exciting for him and a bit nerve wracking for me! He’s got a nice stash of money from all his hard work barista-into, so will be able to splash out on a few dives but otherwise it’s hostels and eating nasi goreng 3x/day until he can’t face another one!
So I’m starting with the uni visits for DD2. She still thinks she wants to go to Canada but has consented to look at some uk unis. She is interested in international relations/Spanish/Arabic and so we are going to london later this week to look at kings (IR and War Studies) and LSE, then at the end of the month heading to Scotland to the Edinburgh open day and will also drop in on St Andrew’s. It will be Sunday and not an open day there and I suspect she will run away screaming at its tiny size and remoteness, but let’s see.
She is adamant she will not countenance oxbridge, which is a common problem in kids from Oxford… says she has “done” oxford and cambs is “just the same”. I can understand that tbh. So I think I will have 4/4 oxbridge refuseniks, which is fine. I didn’t apply either.