Son just wrote my car off, and I’m not mad

[Fisifoofoo]

So, my 18 year old passed his test about a month ago, and I stuck him on my insurance so he could drive to work and back, he works on a country hotel so has late finishes.

On his way to work at a new location today he lost it on a very tight bend on an unfamiliar country road, went through a wall and rolled it twice down a hill into some trees

Luckily no one else was involved, and some bikers stopped and phoned the emergency services, but apart from a few scrapes him and his mate are fine. It took a long time to find his house keys that had flown out of the car when it rolled, he said at one point his arm flew out of the window and back in again, it frightens me to think what could’ve happened.

I am not in the least bit mad. The car is a write off, and any future insurance I might get will be extortionate but I don’t care.

I couldn’t care less about that car. It was mine, I loved it, it took me ages to find it, but it’s nothing.

The fact that the two of them walked away with just scrapes is miraculous, I feel like putting a lottery ticket on.

My son did similar at the same age - I too thanked my lucky stars.

Glad no one was hurt

Er yeh but you know he could have killed himself and his friend? So he was driving too fast clearly. He's an idiot but a lucky one.
You don't care about the car because that's the prize for him not being dead. It's not ideal really is it??

Bizarre. He was clearly driving too fast and not paying enough attention, you should be mad. You're doing him no favours. I bet friends mother is pretty mad, I would be.

Of course its wonderful that they are ok, but that doesn't mean there aren't consequences for his reckless driving.

My 21 year old rang me after someone drove past him and smashed his car, he was so upset. I told him it doesn’t matter. We knew an 18 year old who crashed his mother’s car and killed his passenger friend, went to prison and it totally broke him and all his friends and family, so sad, but you’re right a car can be replaced.

I'd feel exactly the same. FWIW having a bad accident is the best safety teaching for future driving their can be. He'll never again drive at speed in winding country roads, or behave in this silly show off way again. Beats no end of safety nagging.

I dont understand why you're not mad. I get you're feeling euphoric that he's alive but gesture clearly been reckless and could very well have killed himself amd others. I suspect in a few days the anger will eventually sink in.

I would be ecstatic he hadn't killed anyone or himself but I would be furious he had written the car off.

I would consider getting black box insurance, it might slow the idiot down.

Wow! I would find your anger - he was clearly driving too fast and it is only luck that he and his passenger are ok and that he didn't hit another vehicle or pedestrian.
Like PP, I also know of an 18 yr old sent to prison for dangerous driving and killing his passenger.

You should be mad. Next time he might not be so lucky.

Aww bless him he'll be so shaken up. My Ds was 18 when he totalled my car. Not his fault as a man in a big van shot across the road in front of him. There happened to be a Fire engine at the intersection too, and they all jumped out to see to him and his two passengers. Ds spent the next couple of days glued to my side he was so shaken. I got full amount requested for my little Toyota and replaced it in no time. Man in van tried to say Ds was speeding, not possible loads of slow traffic he was impatiently waiting.

Hope you had business cover on there else you may find the insurers refuse to pay out. 😬

I wrote my mum's car off when I was the same age. She said "never mind, these things happen"

Thank goodness your DS & his mate are ok.

DS and I used to share my car when he first passed his test at 17, he said one day before he passed his test, mum I hope I don’t damage your car, I said if it happens, it happens, the car is insured it can be replaced, you can’t. He was amazed that I wouldn’t be angry if the worse happened.

Accidents happen, it was a mistake, no one was harmed. I am sure he will be much more careful in future.

You are mad.

He must have been going so fast...you need to be having a firm talk with him.

To be fair to the kid lots of bendy country roads are national speed limit and an inexperienced driver might assume that they're safe to drive at that speed.

Hopefully he's learnt a very important lesson.

Thank goodness he's ok. A friend of mine did similar when we were 18 - she wasn't, by all accounts, driving very fast, and the speed would have been fine for the road. But she hit a patch of mud, and she'd never had that happen before, and she panicked. And she landed the car in the ditch and her passenger got a faceful of glass and lost the sight in one of her eyes.

It really stayed with me - as you say, terrifying to think what can happen.

Would it maybe be worthwhile if he were to do a pass plus course (or whatever it's called now)? You go out with a driving instructor and they teach you lots of things about extra safety measures and how to deal with unexpected situations.

It’s just a tin can. Glad nobody was hurt.

I’m glad he’s safe OP, but you need to ask him what would have happened to a person in his path -

I know he’s in shock, but the lesson that he was driving dangerously fast needs to land.

Young (particularly young male) drivers always overestimate speed on roads like that.

As a PP said find your anger and give him a bollocking so he doesn’t kill himself or someone else next time. He wouldn’t be the first to bounce from crash to crash.

What's the point in anger? By all means endure he's learnt from what he did wrong but nobody's perfect. I agree with you. I'd just be so grateful he's ok. That could have killed them both.

DS did similar, he hit a patch of gravel that had been thrown onto the road and lost control. He was OK too and that was the most important thing, the event taught he more than my anger ever would have done. Glad he is OK.

I understand that all you are feeling right now is relief (the rancour will come gradually as you plough through the process of replacing your car and paying very high insurance rates for years).

The most important thing here is that he realises he crashed due to his lack of experience and skill, and it is through luck that he didn't kill himself, his friend or a stranger.

In future I would not allow him to drive with friends in the car - kids his age can't help showing off and are so easily distracted.

Of course you're happy he isnt injured or dead... but he could have been and so coild his friend and anyone else on the road at the time.

He is a teenage boy. A teenage boy with other teenage boys in the car. Those are the dangerous drivers, those are the ones who die in crashes because of stupid driving.

He was clearly driving too fast on an unknown country road. There would have been signs for a bendy road and he didnt slow down. And let's be honest, you can usually get round a corner even going a little faster than you should. It's scary but you'd make it. They went flying off the road so he was speeding and driving dangerously and people could have been killed.

Teenage boys with their friends in the car are the most dangerous. Showing off and all the rest of it.

You need a serious talk with him and no more mates in the car until he has more experience and wont show off.

If he’d have killed somebody your insurance would have paid out, so no harm done eh.

My daughter had an accident as a new driver on a country road and ended upside down in her car and climbed out. I was so relieved. Around the same time my friend in work lost her son in a car accident.