DS (22) - New job in London - Live at home initially or rent?

[CornflakeMum]

DS (22) will be starting a new graduate job in London this summer. He will have a good salary (£50k) and will be working in the Chiswick area.
He's beginning to think about his options, which are obviously his choice, but I'd be interested in perspectives from people whose DC might have done the same.
Key consideration is that we live in the London commuter zone, and while it's not a great journey (2 changes) he could commute from home in just over an hour door to door.
Another factor is that he's already been told he will be in the office a maximum of 3 days a week and expected to work from home the rest.

He seems dead set on 'getting his own place' before he starts work. DH and I are trying to encourage him to not rush into things, but to consider commuting/staying in a Premier Inn 3 nights etc for a while until he gets a feel for the company/ the area/ where his colleagues live etc.

Any wisdom/ thoughts?

[MartinMartinMarti]

I would (did) stay at home for a bit.

But this is an adult, earning a big salary, who wants to choose where he lives. That’s absolutely the right thing for him to do, and you should back off.

[PigeonPigPie]

Commuting over an hour and staying in a Premier Inn doesn't sound like the best way to get to know the area or make friends! SW London is full to bursting with 20-somethings in houseshares and places to meet people.

[longestlurkerever]

I don't really understand why you wouldn't want him to rent somewhere? What are the risks as you see them? He can always give notice if it doesn't work out.

[grapewines]

Commuting over an hour and staying in a Premier Inn doesn't sound like the best way to get to know the area or make friends

Agree with this. He's got the right idea.

[Frenchfancy]

A 22 year old with a 50k salary. Of course he doesn't want to live at home with a long commute, he wants to be where the action is. He should move out and enjoy life.

[Comefromaway]

I'd stay at home initially.

My dd is in a house-share and to be honest she doesn't really see much of her house mates as they all have such different schedules. She socialises by going to the pub after work with her colleagues 1 evening a week. By staying at home he can hopefully build some savings.

[LIZS]

An hour's commute is not unusual and certainly worth it while he finds his feet in the role. He could then look for a house share. Premier inn sounds miserable.

[Oblomov22]

On that starting salary I'd let him rent.

[Twizbe]

What sort of job is it?

If it's consulting or something where he's likely to be on client site most of the week, it could work out better to stay at home.

A lot of grads in my old company (big 4 consulting) would get annoyed that they were paying loads for rent in London when spending 3-4 nights a week in hotels.

If that's not likely to be a thing then he should move out, but perhaps suggest he gets something cheaper/shared and still save some of that great salary to get a mortgage ASAP.

[pitterpatterrain]

100% what Twizbe said

Plus on 50k you either get people who spend the whole darn lot in 10 seconds or those who financially plan that maybe consulting won’t be the be all / end all forever and perhaps save and commute is better

[Newnormal99]

I'm assuming at £50k as a graduate he could be putting long hours in so something with short commute may be good.

[Suprima]

Why on earth when he is on 50k would he want to stay home with you?

He can always give notice if hates his houseshare

That’s a great salary- he should find a lovely houseshare, with a big room, enjoy the city and have fun

[ApolloandDaphne]

Both my DDs started jobs in London on around half that salary and both opted for house shares as we live too far away for any other option. DD2 started her job during the first lockdown and was wholly working from home but she wanted to be in London. DD1 has moved out of London now but DD2 is having a fab time and has made lots of friends in work while she socialises with as well as having loads of old school/uni friends around. I agree with your DS - he needs to get stuck in to working and socialising away from home.

[deadlanguage]

I stayed at home for a bit, then rented with DP, and then bought a house in the commuter zone in my mid 20s. I can definitely understand the desire for independence, but not sure if a shared house in Chiswick will be much fun, it’s hardly a hip area!

[Thecazelets]

Definitely needs to get his own place in a house share or something. I did it at that age in a far less well paid first-rung job, so did my peers, and my dc are doing the same. He's on a good salary and Chiswick/SW London are great places to be with plenty going on.

[CornflakeMum]

Thanks for replies! I don't think we disagree that he should get his own place, it's just really the timing of it all.

Don't want to drip feed, but our feelings about it also relate to recent experience where he did a year out as part of his course, rushed into a flatshare with someone he hardly knew from uni, rapidly fell out with them, then spent 9 months of the year working from home (our home) as covid meant he wasn't allowed in the office. He spent £7k on a flat he never lived in!

He doesn't want to flat share - he wants his own place ("but not a studio apartment") which means he's likely to end up in a 12 month lease, rather than a shorter-term room rental. He's quite set in his ways, not a party animal, has found it difficult in the past living with noisy flatmates who have very different sleeping hours!

I just think he's going to rush into something expensive and grotty in an area he doesn't know and be locked in for 12 months! His choice, I know, but it's something that might be avoided for the sake of a few weeks commuting?

FWIW he inherited a sizeable sum from a grandparent many years ago, so he is also in the fortunate position that he could buy something too, instead of renting as he has a decent deposit.

[CornflakeMum]

The premier inn thing was just a suggestion if he knew he'd be staying in London certain nights for a night out etc btw.

[longestlurkerever]

Tbh I think he'll find it easier flat hunting before he starts than while finding his feet in a new job. Long commutes from suburbia are for when he's older and has more responsibilities. I don't think you can begrudge him his covid experience. No one saw that coming.

[AgathaMystery]

He sounds like my brother (24) about the start a job in the City (square mile) & looking for a decent apartment within 25 mins of St Pauls. Can we get them together?!

[CornflakeMum]

It's a tech job, not consultancy, so he probably will be in the office those three days.

[Comefromaway]

He will find it easier to flat hunt whilst he is actually in the area.

[SpiderVersed]

How exciting for him!

[Skinnytailedsquirrel]

I think the Premier Inn thing sounds a good idea. He needs to "bed in" at work and find his feet and his friends. He might find he wants to flat share with a work mate. He might find he wants to rent in a different area from his original thoughts.

Premier Inn (or similar) would give him breathing space and freedom for a while. It will also make him realise what he needs in his living space to be comfortable.

His commute from your home is the norm for lots of people.

[CornflakeMum]

@Comefromaway

He will find it easier to flat hunt whilst he is actually in the area.

You see, this is what I think. Colleagues will say "oh, live in XYZ, it looks far away but it has a really fast tube line"

I made the mistake of being too organised before I started work in my 20s and found a house share with a weird bloke. The other grad trainees just holed up in hotels for two weeks then all grouped together in a house share. I felt so miserable and lonely until one of them was posted elsewhere and I took over their room. [Note: I am clearly influenced by this experience and it risks clouding my judgement for DS ]

[Comefromaway]

My daughter stayed with a friend of dh's for a couple of months. It meant she could suss out the area and be on the spot to visit potential house shares. Places don't hang around and you can try the commute too.