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Parenting

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Original poster

public toilets - ladies or gents?

42 replies

muminlondon · 18/08/2005 16:44

Just wondered what my DH should do when out and about with DD (2.5, 1 week into training). I've suggested he look for the disabled (unisex) toilet when in doubt - but I don't like the idea of him taking her in the gents! Should men take little girls into the women's toilets?

I suppose women and little boys usually go in the women's toilets - or do some of you take them in the men's?!

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northerner · 18/08/2005 16:45

Why can'y he take her in the gents?

Aimsmum · 18/08/2005 16:46

Message withdrawn

Bozza · 18/08/2005 16:47

Think this has been covered once before but yonks ago. Personally I say the gents (or quite often baby change might have a toilet) but know others disagree. Haven't got to this point with my DD yet.

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Original poster

muminlondon · 18/08/2005 16:50

I guess it depends if the toilets are 'normal' ones with doors on or urinals. I don't like the idea of her going past men with their willies hanging out and pee on the floor around the urinals!

OP posts:

spidermama · 18/08/2005 16:51

Yuk. She has to go in the mens. There's nothing else for it. You have to try not to think about it. Your dd won't mind after all.

Original poster

muminlondon · 18/08/2005 16:52

no, she'll probably just point and laugh.

OP posts:

stitch · 18/08/2005 16:56

well, by preference i go in the disabled when out with my kids. dh will take the boys to the gents, dd still in nappies, so havent considered this yet, but i think we would both prefer she goes to the disabled toilet. but if she has to go to the gents, then so be it.
also, i have an 8 year old, and he is too old to go to the ladies, but too young to go into the gents alone imo. so disabled it is.

Lonelymum · 18/08/2005 16:57

I think my dh got round this problem with dd by never taking her out anywhere on his own! TBH, he always tries to get out of taking the ds's to the loo too as he says the mens are always filthy and the womens must be better - I am not sure sometimes! Thankfully this particular bone of contention has ended as the ds's wouldn't dream of going in the ladies now and go to the gents on their own. (though only 9 and 7)

I think you must do as all potty training parents must do: identify the location of all public loos (including friendly shop keepers who will let you use their private facilities) and particularly in your dh's case, identify all disabled loos and unisex toilets (eg we used to have a great one in a local bookshop) and plan your trips out carefully!

Original poster

muminlondon · 18/08/2005 17:08

he's usually full-time at work but is home with her at the moment. Yes, I'm building up that toilet map in my head. We share most of the chores but all sorts of little things end up being my responsibility so I can see me taking over loo duty too - along with laundry, paying bills and packing bags.

OP posts:

mumtosomeone · 18/08/2005 17:08

If I was out I would take to ladies if it was dh the gents!

ghost · 18/08/2005 17:16

we always use the disabled toilets - much more room than the ladies or the gents, unless it is a parent room with a toilet (although these are like golddust). And much easier if you have more than one child to watch. dh takes them to the disabled toilets as well

wordsmith · 18/08/2005 17:17

Muminlondon - don't know about you but I wouldn't want a man to come into the ladies! he should take her into the gents and go into a cubicle.

I'm glad I have boys in this respect. If all else fails they can just wee up a tree.

Original poster

muminlondon · 18/08/2005 17:23

DD is quite happy weeing while standing up at the moment! But I suppose I'd rather DH took her into a gent's cubicle (as long as it's clean) than encourage that.

OP posts:

Bozza · 19/08/2005 21:58

Don't really see why you all feel the need to use the disabled toilet just because you have a toddler.

dinny · 19/08/2005 22:02

just asked dh - if he's out with dd (aged 3) he takes her in a. disabled and b. ladies.

dinny · 19/08/2005 22:04

Bozza, really don't want dd walking past men pissing in urinals, hence necessity for disabled loos if dh out with dd.

Hattie05 · 19/08/2005 22:13

I thought it was the norm for Dads to take their kid to the gents and vice versa for mums??

Most disabled loos are locked around here, only to be opened by people issued with a key.

stitch, i would still take an 8yr old boy in the ladies, its not as though anyone can be embarrassed as it all goes on behind shut doors. I often walk into public loos where there are boys waiting outside the cubicle for their mums - the only thing i think is shit have i walked into the gents . But don't have any concern whatsoever and didn't really think many people would.

robinia · 19/08/2005 22:35

Definitely has to take her in the gents (or disabled if available). No way should he be going in the ladies.

aloha · 19/08/2005 22:37

I always use the disabled toilet. You try fitting me, a three year old and a baby in a pushchair into a normal cubicle! And I've never once in all the times I've done it seen a disabled person.

aloha · 19/08/2005 22:38

Yes, men should take daughters to the gents otherwise. Horrid, aren't they?

Pinotmum · 19/08/2005 22:44

I take them to the Ladies (dd and ds) and dh takes them to the gents. Ds who isn't 3 yet protests at having to go to the ladies toilet. Wouldn't like to see a man in the ladies with or without child really.

coppertop · 19/08/2005 22:48

If I'm out with ds1(5) and ds2(2.5yrs) I try to find a unisex toilet if possible. If not I use the disabled toilet. In any case ds2 absolutely refuses to go into toilets where the hand-drier is switched on so this doesn't really leave us with any choice.

Bozza · 20/08/2005 13:36

I'm not picking a fight Aloha but I have been where you are ie with a baby and a 3yo (I now have a 1yo and a 4yo) and have never used the disabled apart from when it is a disabled/baby change combined. When DD comes out of nappies I expect DH to take her into the gents. I have not discussed this with him so I may find he has totally different ideas on the issue.

Do think using the disabled toilets because you have got a child is on a par with using the disabled parking spaces because the parent and child spaces are full.

PeachyClair · 20/08/2005 14:05

I take them (three boys) to ladies, Dh to gents. Becoming an issue though, as DS1 (5) runs off from Ladies and into gents, did this on hol and I could hear him having an episode (AS) in there but couldn't get to him! So no idea what I will do now coz he won't go in Ladies any more, and will lock himself in a cubicle for hours if allowed.

Stargazer · 20/08/2005 14:10

My DS started going to the gents on his own at 6 - he wouldn't come with me to the ladies anymore, so it was a done deal. There were never any worries on my side, as if he seemed to be taking a long time - then I'd simply go right on in Did upset a few men - but mostly no problems at all. As for DD, when she's out with her dad - it's a case of the gents or the disabled (or if we're lucky then a toilet in the ELC shop).

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