public toilets - ladies or gents?

[muminlondon]

Just wondered what my DH should do when out and about with DD (2.5, 1 week into training). I've suggested he look for the disabled (unisex) toilet when in doubt - but I don't like the idea of him taking her in the gents! Should men take little girls into the women's toilets?

I suppose women and little boys usually go in the women's toilets - or do some of you take them in the men's?!

Bozza .. how did you supervise your 3 year old using a public toilet if you had a baby in a buggy with you in a normal loo? (also not picking a fight)

Don't see an issue with using disabled toilets.

Also don't see an issue with children going in the same loo as their parent no matter what the sex

Do think an 8 year old is too old to use a ladies toilet though (judging by the signs in our leisure centre where they even have to change in their own changing rooms)

I used to LOVE it when my dad took me into the men's toilets and I got to see all the men peeing! I was FASCINATED!

I agree, hubby's should definitely NOT use the ladies toilets - what about those of us who have to pee with the door open to supervise the babies/children that we can't fit into the cubicle?! I'm sorry but I don't want a man waltzing in as well, it's humiliating enough when women see me.

I use disabled toilets if possible - until there are buggy-friendly toilets then I don't see the option. I have occasionally kept a wheelchair user waiting (not realising until I came out!) but I have just apologised and they have always been fine about it - I'm sure plenty of them have awkward babies/toddlers too.

I dont agree that using a disabled toilet with toddlers etc is the same as using a disabled car space. The worst you are doing is making someone wait a few extra minutes for the toilet whilst using a car space will cause lots of problems and far more inconvenience.

I would assume when dd is older dh will take her into the mens.

Ds is nine and would die rather than go into the womens toilets.

rather die

From what DH tells me the equiquette that modern men generally observe when using public toilets is very funny, on no account would you want another bloke to chance viewing your pecker (and being seen to observe another man's member would be like hanging a sign over your head that said "Beat me Up now")...
Thus they will go to extreme lengths to avoid using a urinal, for instance. Clubs and pubs at chucking out time are obviously a different sort of environemnt!

I don't consider parking spaces the same thing as disabled loos.

If you have a buggy, then you need a disabled loo as much as anyone in a wheelchair. I did recently use one with dd and as we were coming out there was a lady in a wheelchair waiting. I smiled at her and held the door whilst she went in, but did not feel the need to apologise. I felt i was justified in using it, she'd only had to wait a minute or so and after all a toilet wouldn't be a toilet without a queue! .
Btw she didn't seem put out that i had used it either.

I think this is the first time I have posted something even mildly controversial on Mumsnet and it seems most people disagree with me. I think I am one of those people who has the best toilets for going with baby and child mapped out. When I had DD in the big pram I obviously couldn't fit us all in a cubicle but find now with the buggy I can. If it was just DS who needed the loo and I had to go urgently to the nearest toilets I could leave the door open although TBH by the time DD was born DS didn't tend to get caught short. Otherwise I generally knew where to go where there was space without it being a disabled toilet.

My friend (kids same age) goes to the very last toilet in the block and parks the pram/buggy in the doorway with the door open. But I've always wondered what can be seen through the mirror.

Thats ok when you're in a local shopping centre you know, but i travel around a lot with dd in new places so don't always have them planned out.

I have never left the door open. I just leave her in the pushchair just outside my cubicle and am quick as I can.

But Bozza, why is it bad to use the disabled toilet? Tell me honestly, have you EVER seen a queue at a disabled toilet? I have never once seen anyone waiting outside one. Certainly when I have used them I have never ever come out to find anyone waiting. And even if I did, what's the big deal, being disabled doesn't mean you can't wait two minutes to go to the loo like anyone else. It's not like disabled parking, where otherwise you simply cannot access the place at all. I don't want to leave my baby alone in a public place when I and/or ds needs a wee. I don't like weeing in public and ds needs a LOT of help to go to the loo. In fact, I'd say my kids were no more able to use a normal loo than a disabled person.

No I haven't ever seen a queue Aloha which is the honest answer that you asked for. Maybe its just me being over anal - and I suppose if you ever did see a queue it would more likely be Mums and babies from the sounds of it. But I haven't used one in 15 months (or the previous 2.5 years that DS was in a pushchair) so can't see me starting to now. Actually now that DD is walking I take her out of the pushchair and we all go in a cubicle together. Problem here being preventing DS playing with the sanitary towel bin, preventing DD unwrapping all the toilet roll or sitting on the floor and trying to do a wee all at once.

Anyway while I can see an argument for using a disabled loo with a pushchair I still cannot see one for using it with a child who is past pushchair age.

Did have one annoying incident in Toys R Us where DS needed to go to the loo and there wasn't a disabled loo or one in the baby change. I had DD in a trolley so had to take her out and into the ladies with DS and me. And when I got out the trolley had gone so had to carry DD (11 months and heavy) all round the rest of the shop because couldn't get back through the entrance to get another trolley.

Oh the queues at the National Theatre are legendary! I have missed having an interval drink because of them, and that hurt.

The disabled toilet is the baby changing facility in most places - motorway service stations, little chefs and so on.

On a slight tangent - when they aren't in the disabled loos, why are there baby changing facilities in the ladies but not the gents? (I'm thinking of 'family friendly' restaurants and the like here.)

I suppose at least in the disbaled facilities both sexes can use them.

Sorry I know this isn't really the subject. I'll get my coat.

No wordsmith - don't. I think that is a very valid point. I have (rather sadly admittedly) been thinking about this and I wondered what you all thought about the radar key system which only allows disabled people access to disabled toilets. Surely the whole point of the system is to stop non-disabled people (ie parents with prams) using the toilets.

Also would like to point out that I have never used the toilet in public and never left my kids unattended.