Parental gross out or "what's your worst tale"?

[Aragon]

Tonight I experienced the truth of parenthood. This is that the most disgusting thing can happen and yet you take it in your stride.

This evening I was in the bath with DS (who at the age of 2.5 has decided that no bath is complete without Mum in there too). DS had an empty shampoo bottle which he was filling up and emptying.
Out of the blue he decides to "drink" from the bottle (spitting out the water) while telling me "numma numma" (delicious).
Unfortunately the water ended up being inhaled and he coughed and choked and ......

... (look away now if squeamish)

... vomited back just about everything he'd eaten and drunk during the afternoon. All in the bath water and all over me! Gross, gross, gross!

But with the calm and caring attitude which comes with parenthood I simnple said "oh dear - never mind darling - let's get out and clean up"
All said while cuddling vomit covered toddler and both of us stinking to high heaven.

Emptying the bath was a whole other challenge. Partially digested food and stomach juices don't drain well. I now have a carrier bag full of Bounty, vomit and water (all in the bin).

Yuk, Yuk!

Just nuts about this thread.
I mean, which of us ever dreamt we'd be dealing at this level of grossness? Have your disgust-thresholds altered? I know mine has, though they were stretched to their limit the other day when my mum's dog rolled in something putrid in the park then shook in my house before I could bathe him.

Once when pg with my first I was round at a friend's house and she had to change her large baby's pooey nappy. I vividly remember the smell and thinking to myself, 'My GOD! It actually smells. Of real Poo! Argh! She's going to change him, right here in front of me. Bleurch. Aargh!'

Happy days.

Didn't happen to me but to a friend while I was staying with her......

Her DD had Nutella on toast for b-fast and one morning friend cleaned DD with baby wipes before lifting her out of highchair. Took wipes to bin. Came back and as lifting DD out of high chair noticed Nutella on fingers of DD. Sucked.

NOT Nutella.

Her DD had filled nappy and had a forage!!!!!!!!!!!

Yuck Yuck and double yuck.

Had to go tell our DH's who had been out till 6am - that even woke them up they were laughing so much.

Friend used washing up liquid and and Dettol in her mouth. Couldn't eat all day!

I like that one monstermum

DT2 once had a lovely time chowing down on DT1's filled nappy. Ewwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwww.........

ok this only happened the other day, ds has been on medication to help him go and we were waiting at home for the "event" to take place. the builder of our recently built house was over making some adjustments to one of the garage doors when he called me into the garage. i picked up ds and as i stood talking to him heard an ominous rumble from down below and felt my hands and waist get slightly warm, builder gave me a horrified look and I looked down at my waist and the entire bottom half of my child not to mention both my hands and most of my shirt were dripping with brown goo....arg arg arg!

leaving dd's in the garden for 5 minutes, on return finding dd1 prancing around like a fairy wearing worm necklace and bracelet. she had kindly made dd2 worm earrings, that had made her way in the her mouth.

scraping worm remanents out of poor dd2's mouth was gross

When dd2 was just a couple of weeks old she had a very leaky dirty nappy. I put her on the changing mat and stripped off all her clothes and the nappy. I then glanced round at dd1 (aged 2) and realised that she also had a very dirty nappy which was leaking up her back. She had stuck her hands down the back of the nappy and was walking round the sitting room wondering what to touch next with her poo-covered hands.

Dd2, still on the changing mat, then did a wee so she was lying naked in a pool of urine.

That was my introduction to the juggling act of having two children.

anchovies and shalaa pmsl at your posts

arc of excitement!!

this thread is the funniest ever!

bump

I am shaking with laughter... this thread is hysterically funny. God. Compared to these, my tales are quite tame. Was very impressed when a very tiny ds managed to pee in his own ear during a nappy change... and the delightful time he vomited all over his cot, himself, the floor, the wall... had to pick him up, covered in sick, and cuddle him because he was so upset. Put him in a warm bath only for him to vomit again, so now he was in a bath full of liquid sick. Eurggh.

Few months ago went up to check on ds in his room who was supposed to be going to sleep but wasnt. Was dark, smelt poo and thought oh he needs his nappy changing. Went to open stairgate to his room, was sticky, thought oh, s**t! Hed not taken his nappy off but had scraped it all out all over everything and all over him, in his hair, round (and presumably in) his mouth and everywhere!!! Have never put him to bed without a vest on since!

talking of baby vomit..............

DT1 once threw up all over DT2 in the cot. She went back to sleep and he was covered. Had to get DH to sort that one out. Ewwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwww!!!!

So as a first time mum to be (only 12 days to go - if on time) this is what I've got to look fwd to . Thread has really made me smile - anchovies gross story but ROFL here !