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Parenting

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Original poster

please help me be a sillier parent

63 replies

GoingPostal · 02/06/2010 20:14

I am on my own with ds (3.1) and I am quite a serious type anyway. I am horribly aware that when it's just the two of us he doesn't laugh much and I know I am quite down on him - lots of trying to get him to behave and not enough laughs and silliness - being silly doesn't come naturally to me.

Can anyone give me any simple ideas on silly things that you do or say with your dcs please? I feel like a very cross strict parent at the moment and really need to find a way into changing things to make our home fun. In particular fun ways of getting them to do stuff, but also just general nonsense.

For example, I have cracked getting him upstairs for his bath - I suddenly shout that I'm going to be first up the stairs and leg it for the door - cue race up the stairs and much hilarity. It feels great but I need to find more things like that.

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CoupleofKooks · 02/06/2010 20:16

have a read of the book playful parenting - loads of ideas and alos reminds you of all the reasons for being more silly with your children

WineBeforePearls · 02/06/2010 20:19

If we're all in a bad mood I might ask 'What would you like for tea, roast snails or mashed slugs', then if no giggles I'll start saying 'Mmmm, yum, I love roasted snails with lovely mud sauce on' etc etc.

Also if dd3 won't eat and I can feel myself getting close to snapping, I'll pretend to try to feed her nose, or ear or tummy button, and hopefully she'll play along and some will go in her mouth.

HTH

LittleMissNorty · 02/06/2010 20:20

tickling always goes down well here

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cyb · 02/06/2010 20:20

remember however, we are living real lives, not an episode of Play Away

ApuskiDusky · 02/06/2010 20:22

I am a bit like this too, certainly in comparison to DH. I did buy the book Playful Parenting (and read it) but haven't put much of it into practice - there's a lot on pla fighting in there, which isn't really me, I think it's important to find ways of being silly that suit you.

One thing that has worked for me with ds recently is making up little stories - starting 'once upon a time' - it hardly took any time before he was coming up with ideas on what he wanted stories about, and I could make them silly. And now I ask him what happened next, and he adds bits in.

It doesn't cause falling on the floor laughing, but feels like nice bonding time when we can share a laugh. (DS just under 3 btw).

IMoveTheStars · 02/06/2010 20:22

I struggle with this too. Do you have any friend that are particularly daft with their kids, so you can pinch ideas?

Silly dancing is always my fallback, also massively overeacting to anything silly DS does, face-pulling (yes, I'm setting a great example )

Basically act like a kid, play kids games, and giggle a lot.

Hassled · 02/06/2010 20:22

Well what do you enjoy doing? I've done my fair share of things I loathe (bloody playdough - work of the devil), but I enjoy making ridiculously complicated wooden train tracks so I've done more of that sort of stuff. And I enjoy swimming, so we've always done that - it's always easier to have a laugh if it's stuff you basically enjoy.

And it's easier to relax if you're not thinking about what's for tea or do you have time to get the sheets washed - get everything you have to do out of the way, and then switch off from other things. And just do whatever you can not to feel self-conscious .

overmydeadbody · 02/06/2010 20:24

WineBeforePirls I siad that once to DS, about having worms for supper, and he burst out crying and too it very literally, poor mite.

I play around with words and rhyming words for a bit of silliness, spoonerisms, or saying a word and DS has to say a word that rhymes with it, even if a nonsense word, and then I say anotther one, etc etc etc

Or the "I saw a [insert disgusting thing] squashed on the road, I one it" then DS has to say "I two it" then I say "I three it" and on and on until DS get's to "I eight it" and I go "ewwww you ATE it?! How disgusting!!" etc etc

cyb · 02/06/2010 20:26

why are you all pretending to be something you aren't? Making yourselves be 'kooky'? Children can find amusement without us all pretending to be Jim CArrey

BelleDameSansMerci · 02/06/2010 20:30

I wish I were a more serious parent - hey ho! It's not a case of pretending to be something I'm not, I like having fun and being a bit silly. Also, don't really care where we are. DD will hate this in approx two years time...

overmydeadbody · 02/06/2010 20:34

I don't pretend to be kooky

The OP just wants some help to be sillier with her DC, what's wrong with people giving her advice? It's fun to be silly with kids sometimes, it's good for us too.

Hassled · 02/06/2010 20:35

cyb - because having a laugh with your kids is fun. And it's good groundwork for a good, relaxed relationship.

cyb · 02/06/2010 20:35

I know I am a grump!

mamaduckbone · 02/06/2010 20:35

I don't think there's any harm in the OP looking for ways to lighten up with her ds though cyb...
Music always works for us - preferably music I like - we have a good dance, get the instruments out...it lets off steam. When ds1 was about the same age as your ds we used to have a 'tidying up song' (it was actually the theme tune from the muppets) and when we put it on just before bath time we'd both rush around like loons picking up the toys, then when it finished it was time to go up the stairs.

kingfix · 02/06/2010 20:36

Postal,
I can be a stern mother - too much to do to have fun - and I wasn't enjoying it. So I've blocked out 1 morning a week, when no matter what, I don't try to get anything done, at all. I didn't plan anything specifically fun or zany but just having the time and space to play has meant we do have more fun and it just happened naturally. Of course the house is now a pit and we live off fried pizza while wearing last week's clothes...

undercovamutha · 02/06/2010 20:40

My favourite (and DD's) is to put something silly on our heads (e.g. one of baby DS's tiny sun hats) and then pretend we don't know what is so funny IYSWIM. Can also be done with tomato sauce on nose, cardigan on backwards, knickers on head etc etc

glastocat · 02/06/2010 20:40

This is my favourite bit of being a parent. We're always singing silly made up songs, tickling and poking each other, making up stories about the cat, chasing each other round the house etc. I'm no Jim Carrey (hate him) but I love having a giggle with my kid, he has the best belly laugh ever.

LittleMissNorty · 02/06/2010 20:42

I agree, hearing my DCs really laugh and enjoy being with me is what being a mum is all about.

Original poster

GoingPostal · 02/06/2010 20:49

ah thanks all, really great ideas.

I am absolutely brilliant at outings but rubbish at being at home - always something better / more responsible to do plus I hate playing on the floor, make believe etc. and have no desire to be kooky or Jim Carrey, just want to lighten up a bit and be more on ds's level rather than trying to get him to be on mine.

trying hard to remember being a kid - I was much more serious then than I am now! I just read the whole time....

OP posts:

LoveMyGirls · 02/06/2010 20:49

I love laughing with my kids, we do dancing, tig, who needs a tickle and chase them to tickle them.

Today my dd2 made me laugh by saying
"I don't want to go to nursery any more"
"why not dd2?"
"because the think I'm too funny!" - said with a dead pan face.

I pmsl she's so sweet!!! AND funny!

mamadoc · 02/06/2010 20:54

DD and I like:
singing and dancing and doing acrobatics (me chucking her up in the air/ swinging her round)
joining in with her make believe games eg letting her lock me up in the 'wicked castle' and then I escape to much hilarity
playing with puppets or soft toys. She seems to like a bit of slapstick humour. If they just fall over she starts giggling like crazy.
If I want her to do something she doesn't like eg wash her hair she gets to wash the dolls hair first and I pretend that they cry and make a fuss. She is so much more harsh on them than I am to her. Usually they get a smack although I have never smacked her in her life!

I also am not pretending. I really like this stuff and I am so happy that I have someone who's 3 to share it with. I used to dance round the living room on my own anyway but now I have an excuse.

PixieOnaLeaf · 02/06/2010 20:55

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Message withdrawn

IMoveTheStars · 02/06/2010 21:09

cyb - I'm not pretending to be something I'm not - I'm just not good at the daftness, but it makes DS laugh like an absolute loon, so I do it

Jamieandhismagictorch · 02/06/2010 21:14

I second the book "Playful Parenting". It's really helpful with an oppositional threenager to be able to stay connected with them by having fun, and it helps with those confrontational moments.

said · 02/06/2010 21:15

Daftnes is really important for kids though. I'm crap at playing games and find it hard. But there was a programme about how silliness and laughter, for no real reason, was incredibly important for kids future sense of security and happiness etc etc. So, tickling is alwasy a good fallback. And silly voices (but that's for my own amusement really)

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