please help me be a sillier parent

[GoingPostal]

I am on my own with ds (3.1) and I am quite a serious type anyway. I am horribly aware that when it's just the two of us he doesn't laugh much and I know I am quite down on him - lots of trying to get him to behave and not enough laughs and silliness - being silly doesn't come naturally to me.

Can anyone give me any simple ideas on silly things that you do or say with your dcs please? I feel like a very cross strict parent at the moment and really need to find a way into changing things to make our home fun. In particular fun ways of getting them to do stuff, but also just general nonsense.

For example, I have cracked getting him upstairs for his bath - I suddenly shout that I'm going to be first up the stairs and leg it for the door - cue race up the stairs and much hilarity. It feels great but I need to find more things like that.

Some things we do:

• I say 'don't say (insert particular phrase) or you'll get a tickle. They can't resist it. The great thing about this is that you develop 'in-jokes' which can be rolled out any time (over and over again). You can say ' Did I hear you say xxxx' 'No you can't have done'' you wouldn't dare when you know you'll get a tickle' etc any time/place.
• Just stupid stuff like 'what do you want for breakfast? Toast, cereal or filleted dogfish?' has mine laughing.
• Mine giggle about correcting me on things like 'trees are purple aren't they' or 'your name is beryl isn't it'. Cue big roars of 'nooooo'
• silly dancing goes down well and is stress relief for all of us
• Funny voices when reading
• Making up imaginary stories together - this is the more gentle side of silliness but lovely
• Baking but really going stupid with decorations and truly not caring what the end result looks like.
• Water fights and play chasing go down well in the garden
• Dressing up and make up
• Having baths together is nice.

I think it does need to be genuine iyswim and written down all of this seems ridiculous and actually . Once you start you'll work out some 'in-jokes' between you and your ds and don't forget most kids love repetition so don't be afraid to keep rolling out the same old stuff!

My favourites are:
1)keepy-uppy with a ballon, especially if you fall over when trying to reach it

2)playing with a paddling pool full of water and bubbles outside, not necessarily splahing each other, but just putting dolls, cars, anything in and splashing together

3. painting together - I get my own paper and paint too alongside mine, and make sure it is totally crap and then act indignant when they laugh at it. Same thing goes for singing and dancing, the worse the better

4. hide and seek always gets lots of laughs in this house somehow, usually because we are so rubbish at finding good places to hide.

GoingPostal - After writing my post on your thread last night I wanted to add today that my mum brought us up on her own. She wasn't silly and we didn't laugh much at home and I suppose that would be my one sadness about the situation. So good for you for trying to work out ways to do this.

However I should say that more importantly she was a great mum, she loved us intensely, was patient with us, listened to our tedious stories about school, she would always make sure we had everything we needed for school, always took us to things on time, was always always there for us. She took us to our grandparents a lot and my grandad was the joker with us. We had a great childhood.

Don't beat yourself up about not being a laugh a minute. Theres tons of other stuff thats really really important, like really listening to your child. And its very bloody hard being on your own. You have my admiration.

just come back to this for yet more great ideas - ds and I having a good week so far!

Whelk - thank you. you have no idea how much your post means to me. . Your mum sounds great, as do your grandparents.

Well, I am sitting here soaking wet, having just come in from a water fight

I used to chase my husband around our flat, when we were first together and he'd do the same (he says I taught him how to play). I am a playful person - kids or no. I think you are either a playful person or you are not and I think if you are not, then it is harder for you to play with your children, because it's not your nature so you have to fake it, iyswim. It doesn't just come. You have to plan to play

I love being silly with my kids my daughter who is 5 sometimes tells me to stop! I dance around the kitchen with the radio on and they love it especially my little boy. He jumps around copying me. I never used to be silly but i found the more i did it the easier it got.
I have games also that we play, my son love peek a boo, he hides behind the curtains and i pretend i can't see him. Kids will laugh and be happy if you are. It is hard sometimes though because no one can be happy all the time,that is natural

Oh this is a good thread.

We do lots o silly things.

DS1 laughed so much yesterday when I got cake mix on my tshirt, ten on my face.

We do silly dances

Tickles

I lift DS2 up with my feet on his belly to do superman

We play hide and seek often, DS2 especially (hes younger) usually ends up screaming with laughter)

We play piley on (everyone piles ontop of one another, though make sure the heaviest is at the bottom lol)

We do horsy rides

We sometimes put the music channels on an ddance around whilst cleaning up!

I think that there is a big difference between being serious and strict OP. If you are quite a serious person, then that's ok. It's your personality and it's much more natural and I bet you aren't as serious as you think once you give yourself a break. The strictness thing is different though. Maybe you need to examine why you are being strict. I try (after reading Unconditional Parenting) to say to myself 'Do I really need to say No to that? What's the worst that could happen?'

I sing "You Can Leave Your Hat On" while DS1 gets changed. He thinks it is hilarious. I also read the names and countries of football players on World Cup Collectible cards in silly voices, and we make up jokes, Christmas cracker style.

I don't know how much help I can be - my DD is only 5months! I'd advise you to play to your strengths though. For example - I like to sing, so I made a CD of 'silly songs' for my DD. Tracks include 'I taught I taw a Puddy Tat' 'The Laughing Policeman' 'Right Said Fred' (the song not the band) 'Tie me Kangaroo Down' etc - just silly songs that kids like to listen to. I belt them out doing all the silly voices and it puts me into a fun mood and I think my DD (despite her age) notices.

I'd also say just do things wrong - like putting items of clothing on the wrong body parts and pretending to be ever so confused etc.

Want to second what someone else said though - my own mother doesn't have a silly bone in her body - but my childhood was filled with love and warmth and security and I loved every minute of it. I think sometimes we envy things that other people seem to have, whilst forgetting what we have ourselves.

Am not sure at all re tickling

Does anyone actually enjoy being tickled? i don't believe they do and find it a bit horrid - more fun for the tickler (usually the adult) than for the ticklee.

My dd (14 months) laughs like a drain when being tickled. In fact, all I have to do is say "I'm going to tickle you" and count down from 3 and she's giggling before I start!

She also likes being chased, and when she's cornered I turn around and say "where's dd, I'm not going to chase her now" wait for her to sneak up on me and then turn round and say boo. Works for us!

Silly songs, especially changing ones they know well. We tried working out 'Sing a song of Salad' (to the tune of Sing a song of sixpence). Also, when there's any grumpiness, to the tune of Frere Jacques:

I hear wailing, I hear wailing,
Oh don't you? Oh don't you?
Pitter patter teardrops, pitter patter teardrops,
Boo hoo hoo, boo hoo hoo

usually resolves the matter