Today was a particularly bad day. DH was sick and I looked after the DC's all day on my own. I have a 7mo DD and a 3.5yo. DD has a cold. I am in floods and can't stop. I feel utterly useless. I wish I could be better at this.
I feel like I never get anything done. We are always late to DS's nursery school. I have washing piles around the house that I haven't been able to put away.
Every night there is a great mayhem while I try to make tea, look after a fretful and tired DD and get something for DS to do. My DH is lovely and v good with the kids. He comes home exhausted and I really want to make sure he has a nice dinner to come home to and a cuppa at least. In practise this rarely happens. We hardly see each other. We never have sex because I was badly stitched and its painful. I am so tired I never really even think about it. I worry that we are separate people now.
I feel like I am neglecting DD when I am trying to get stuff done in the house. She won't wean and is still breast feeding, she won't take a bottle. I have tried many times and other people have also tried.
We don't live near family so have no extra support. DD goes into nursery once a week so I can do keeping in touch days at work but so far I have only managed a few hours in work due to feeding/being exhausted. I also have used the time to run errands in town. So DD has only been in nursery from say 10.30am til 2pm.
Today I realised I have not had a cuppa or food since 11am.
I feel like every day its just work non stop til they are in bed. Then I get about 2 hours where I catch up with some jobs and have 5 mins to myself before I have to feed dd again at 9.30/10pm. She is lately up about 3 times in the night.
I am sure loads of people have much much worse situations than me but I just can't do this and I don't know how to get better at it and I don't know how people do it.
I just don't know what to do.