I'm going wrong somewhere (sob) I'd really appreciate some essay writing tips please (sob)

[belledechocolatefluffybunny]

I've already got a degree, it's in Law, I was 1 B- away from a 2:2 so I wasn't too bad at it, had a fair few B's.

I moved on from this and am now doing something else (radiography), I'm in the second year but I don't know why I'm bothering. I can't get above a D and have failed alot. I try to follow the criteria for the assessments but it makes no difference. I ask for feedback but it doesn't explain why my marks are so low. I use all the relevant tools, back up with journal references. Maybe I'm just not cut out for a science degree. I'd really love to do medicine but if I can't do the course I'm studying now I don't have a chance in hell. Is there a magic book that will point me in the right direction?

Spiders! (bleugh)

Ikea's OK. It's sad about not being near a beach, are there places where you can just get away from it all? Trees/hills?

It's a funny thing - beaches are not the joy here that they were in the UK. When I say we are not near one, we could be at a beach in 15mins or less, probably - but we haven't been more than 3 or 4 times since we got here last August. There is water all around us, everywhere - so it has lost its "specialness". We went to a beach town on Friday for lunch and as we saw the Pacific Ocean on the horizon, I said as much to DH - in England it was such a rush to see the sea, but we can see Lake Macquarie from our back door and familiarity really does rub the sparkle off. MIL's house is on the lake (saltwater) but there's no beach there, only rock and oysters (ouch!)

We are at the top of a hill and there is bush all around us; we are about 40 minutes from the mountains. Walking in the bush might be a possibility in a week or so, when all the mozzies are dead - but we still have to watch out for snakes. We go to see the kangaroos at the mental hospital about once a week; that's a nice little trip (they're about 5 mins away)

God, I really sound like I'm knocking back all your suggestions, don't I - well I suppose I am but not because I don't appreciate them. It's hard to get a real handle on what it's like here and how different things are from England sometimes unless you are living it.

What about doing some photography, there's sites where you can sell the pictures. It sounds like it's really picturesque, imagine taking a picture of the sun rising over the lake. It'll be a good hobby and will get you out of the house.

Still got to think about Ds in this though - he comes with me most places. He's a bit of a handicap with taking photos - he wants to see them the whole time! I can barely take a pic of him because he wants to see - I'm just getting it through to him that he has to smile and get his photo taken first before he can see it.

I have some nice photos - every now and then I take a good one but I have never had a great eye for composition.

There is so much I could do but I would need to put DS into pre-school to do it - something I'm not ready for, especially as they tend to want to see vaccination records and DS still hasn't had his MMR (I'm avoiding it) at 2.6; they won't like that and I'll have to sign a conscientious objector's form with good reasons as to why I won't give it. Could get messy... I might even get thrown out of one playgroup over it, if they insist on checking - I've avoided it so far but who knows how much longer for.

Walking into town is good for me - as I said, being at the top of the hill makes it more exercise-worthy, especially as we have to come home up hill, with shopping-laden pushchair! is what I look like by the time I get home...

Take him with you, you can get some really sturdy childrens cameras, just connect them to the laptop and he can see his own pictures.

I waited until ds was older before he had his MMR, I figured that any problems would have shown up by then. He's doing really well at school, they have mentioned nothing about the problems highlighted at his old school. He's made alot of friends, no complaints at all about swearing (surprise surprise), he works well with the other children and shares his cake. I'll be sad to move him (slightly relieved about loosing all the faith stuff though)

Glad he's doing so much better! We have a choice of faith or public (state) primary school whenever DS is old enough. Have just heard from other mums that the state one is better than the faith one so might send him there - but I know the secondary public school here is Not Good, so likely he'll go private for secondary, which makes me wonder about sending him private for primary. Mind you, I was state primary and private secondary - while it wasn't easy, at least I had both feet squarely on the ground!

I was state educated. If I'd have known about private schools I'd have been knocking their door down. My education was dire.

He's eating too much, they don't have a kitchen so he has a packed lunch. He doesn't like cold pasta etc so he's having bread every day. He's a little overweight now, looks like he's developing breast buds which I'm not happy about. His asthma is affecting PE as he can't keep up. I hope it improves when he moves, the school dinners are supposto be great. At least he can have a jacket potato or something other then bread. I try and make sure he has different types (flat bread/pitta etc), lots of fruit, no crisps or chocolate.

hmm, bread every day not so good. What about cold meats/sausages or cheeses without bread? Maybe some hummus (or other dip) and crudités?

School dinners are so important, really, I can't believe that some schools have elected to not have them, mostly because of finance reasons.

His average packed lunch:
small bottle of fresh orange juice
handful of grapes/salad (cucumber/lettuce)
small babybel cheese/small tub of philadelphia and breadsticks
small cake (that he shares so he only has a bite)
bottle of water for during the day.

I've tried him with hummus/dips, he doesn't like them. He has cold meats with fruit and cheese at home sometimes but he's hungry an hour later so they don't fill him up.

School dinners are really important, I'm pleased he's put on weight, he didn't used to eat properly at school as there was no choice in what they had but he's put on a little too much.

fluffy, I am going to have to go to bed - I have nearly nutted the laptop twice now and am yawning like Cheddar Gorge - see you tomorrow!

I was wondering what time it is over there, it's 4pm here and you were up taking at 2am.

I hope you sleep well

we are 9 hours ahead of you so it was 1am - but for some reason I am very tired atm. Don't know why - getting old, I guess!

Belle- I've done a little teaching and just wanted to offer some quick hints. You may be doing all of this already so ignore me if you are.

I found structure to be the most important thing in essays. Remember your marker is getting paid a pittance- we had to mark 5 essays an hour or it was just ridiculously low pay. Of course I spent longer but it never felt like we were giving people their due. So you need to make it as easy as possible for your examiner to tick their boxes.

I taught a rather more abstract science subject but HTH:

With an essay of this type I would suggest using the question/criteria as your essay plan. Start with a short introduction which shows you understand the question/what they want. Then address each criteria in turn. Finish with a conclusion which gives you opinions - the body of your essay should have weighed up evidence, referred to guidelines etc.

This type of structure should make it easy for you to do a final check/read through to see if you have addressed all the things they want.

Good luck. Don't give up. Is there anyone on your course who would sit down and talk about your next question before you tackle it?

Thankyou, I've written all of that down newkiwi so will remember it

This is what she has said about my last assignment

• very descriptive work, rather than reflective. Use of headings may have helped you to integrate a reflective model.

(I did use Gibbs reflective cycle throughout, although not with headings but used seperate paragraphs for each part of the reflective cycle) -poor standard of presentation. Further division into paragraphs would have helped with this. (It was all wordprocessed, there were spaces between the paragraphs)

• lack of underpinning references to link theory to practice (I used about 8 references)
• 2 very similar events used (I used one with a younger chld, screaming and uncooperative and one with a slightly older child who was the perfect patient)
• the assignment did not meet the learning outcome

Jings.
I presume you have a student handbook that tells you how to present your work - double line spacing and all that, extra line between paras - you could try doing a tab indent at the beginning of new paras to highlight them, if you don't already. Keep paras relatively short, at least 3 to a page if possible.

if she thinks it was descriptive you might not have used enough "feeling" words - beloved of the reflective types. As in "I felt that I handled the situation with professional aplomb, despite feeling under pressure from the parents" etc.

Pepper your work with more references if she's being awkward about it. 8 isn't a lot tbh, although it depends on the length of the piece of work.

Can't see how the events were similar except that they were both children - but you're doing a paed module, aren't you? So they would all be children of some age. (weird response)

Do use subheadings if you can - they do help to break up the text. Are you having to re-write this? If so, then sub-head each para appropriately for each step of the Gibbs Reflective Cycle - use it as a question to yourself and answer the question in the first sentence of the para, elaborating further in the para if necessary.

HTH - gotta run to playgroup now, we're late!

I used 1.5 spacing, as I do with all my assignments and presentation has never been written in the feedback as being a problem, the feedback I recieve is always positive. Looking back though, I think because I did 1.5 spacing she may not have been able to see the gaps between the paragraphs easily7 so assumed there were none??
I wrote that I felt a little anxious as I did not wish to repeat the x-ray due to the dose recieved by the child and the rules which say we must keep dosages to a minumum (etc). It was a 2000 word essay, I used different parts of the journals so in theory I used 8 references but used the journals a few times each so had alot more references in the text IYSWIM.
We were told by someone else not to use subheadings as it should "flow".
She didn't say make the 2 events very different, just one where we have improved and one where we need to improve and how we are going to do this.

An interesting point then - always make sure you get full info from the person who will be marking your assignment prior to handing it in because some say one thing and others say another. PITA but it's the best way to get good marks.

You can reference journals more than once - I assume you use Harvard referencing? If you are using a journal, you can reference each article individually - or if not articles, you can reference by page number blocks.(Sorry if you already know that)

It may be that this marker is a bit of a diva - is she quite difficult?

Do you have to re-submit this? Because if you do, you need to have a tutorial with her to find out exactly what she is expecting for you to meet the learning outcomes. She has to be able to justify her critique and explain what she wanted to see.

I haven't got anything new to add, but just wanted to sympathise with you. My first degree was in Economics and Accounting and I got a 2:1 without trying all that hard. I have just finished studying for an Early Years Education qualification with the Open University, and it was a whole new world! Different discipline, different way of writing essays, even a different way of referencing! It took me a long time (and a couple of fails) to get my head roudn it. It is also a whole new world studying with children under your feet.

But keep at it, it may well be that the more essays you write the more the new way of doing things will "click".

I used harvard referencing which is what we were told to do for all assignments at the start of the course. She has marked everyone down for using harvard referencing though as she does not consider the way we use harvard referencing as harvard referencing, despite all of the other lecturers having no issue with the way any of us reference. She's off on maternity leave soon so she won't be marking the re-submission.
I just feel stupid.

It's hard helyg. I think they are OK, obviously they are not though.

That is exactly how I felt! I was so sure that I was doing them right (or at least right in the way that I was taught with my first degree) then it was a kick in the teeth every time I got a rubbish mark.

In the end I tried to put the methods that I had learnt first time round out of my mind, and went into the tutorials as though I were starting from scratch.

Law was quite easy, there was never a right or wrong answer, as long as you backed yourself up with a quote from a judge it was fine. There is always one judge who interprets the law one way and one who interprets it another so it was quite easy once you did the reading. I don't think I can get my head around health degrees and the essay writing books don't seem to help. I feel really stupid so it affects my self confidence so I feel even more stupid so I do even worse. I could do with a good grade. I use Gibbs for the reflective stuff as I seem to do alot of this.

belle - take your piece of work to another tutor and ask them to look over it, and the comments. If she is marking differently to everyone else and confusing the issue for the students in terms of how to write papers, it needs to be flagged up.

It sounds like this woman does have some issues - I would say this is far more about her than you. If you feel you have actually done what was asked of you (and it does rather sound as if you have, enough to pass anyway) then you have the right to complain about the marking. You really need to be proactive about this with the Uni staff - and find out who is doing the marking for the re-submission.

One woman being stupid is a real PITA for mature students - it's hard enough getting into the student mode again, especially in a different field, without divas making it harder with their unique takes on what makes a good paper.

PLease, take it to someone else (with the comments) and ask them - you should have personal tutor, use them if no one else available. This is distressing you, it is affecting your ability to do the course, they have a responsibility to help you where possible.

I did hand it in late so it's an automatic D- anyway. The resubmission will be marked by someone else and will be an automatic D- so it's not worth the aggro I'd get by complaining.
Wait till she gives birth, she'll know how hard it is working and having a child! She should realise that if she's flagged the whole group's references as being poor then the common denominator is her!

I'm trying to do a proposal for an independant study, it says I can use to to 2000 words, I have 400

How are you?

a bit miffed, tbh.
I made an error on another thread, overstated something, partly through a case of mistaken identity, apologised and tried to explain and have as good as been called a liar and insincere. So I have hidden the thread because I can't be bothered to get into the mudslinging - I made the mistake, I explained, I apologised - she should just leave it now. But it leaves a nasty taste.

Hey ho.

It's peeing with rain here - another day of not doing much to look forward to, although I really should go and check out the 'local' leisure centre to see whether they have indoor courts, so me and DH can go and play tennis or badminton there. Apparently Aussies think badminton is a kid's sport and only to be played in back gardens, so I might be out of luck there.