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Original poster

Cheeky little cow

86 replies

FabIsGoingToGetFit · 03/05/2010 16:43

Just thinking it about my 6 year old. I wouldn't say it to her.

Just about to have tea and she just said she wouldn't tell me as I don't listen as I don't care about her.

I know she is just being a madam and knows I love her but it still hurts.

I have come upstairs and left dh to sort them out.

Ds1 just came in but I sent him away as he started it.

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bradsmissus · 03/05/2010 18:11

You know it is age old advice that everyone gives when you have a tiny baby. If you feel wound up, make sure they are safe and walk away. I have continued that on and do it now, oldest is 11.

Of course it was the right thing to do FAB, walk away and let DH deal with it.

Much better to post on here than take it out on them.

Original poster
FabIsGoingToGetFit · 03/05/2010 18:14

Dh thinks it is the wrong thing to do but tough. I did it and I don't.

OP posts:
welshgirlintherain · 03/05/2010 18:15

Wow Fab I reckon you handled the situation really well.....my DH & I have a deal that when we feel we are getting to boiling point we call the other one in to "take over"-surely better to do this than totally lose it & start screaming at DC's? I actually see it as progress that we are now able to call on the other for support and not just carry on regardless! I have to be honest when I feel like a rant I ring my mum or best friend who will not judge me on my parenting but listen-seems you use mumsnet for this and its a shame you have been judged by some I hope the supportive responses on here have at least helped you feel heard x

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Original poster
FabIsGoingToGetFit · 03/05/2010 18:18

Thank you welshgirl.

I would usually ring my nana but she doesn't tend the answer the phone since she died.

OP posts:
Tidey · 03/05/2010 18:19

I haven't really been on MN for about 4 months but since I've started again I've noticed there seems to be an increase in mealy-mouthed self-congratulatory judgy purse-lipped posts. Or maybe there's the same amount there always was but I have to build my tolerance back up

Sometimes the only sane thing to do is remove yourself from the situation for a few moments and calm down and think.

welshgirlintherain · 03/05/2010 18:22

Awww Fab so sorry to hear about Nana -how long ago did she die? Sounds like you were really close must have been a massive loss-hope you are okay?x

Compost · 03/05/2010 18:22

just caught up with this again. i did say that fab seems to go upstairs alot and leave dh to deal with it. I agree with you all when you say it is good to walk away when you reach boiling point. It is just that if one cannot get to grips with the dc behaviour then when the dh is at work, you will have them playing up all the more as it is not being dealt with, and the dc will get away with it iyswim

Original poster
FabIsGoingToGetFit · 03/05/2010 18:24

She died in 2005.

I only walk away when dh is there. I deal wit them just fine when he isn't, but hey, sometimes I have had enough and walking away is better than snapping.

I am well aware I am doing most of it wrong. I am trying though.

OP posts:
deaddei · 03/05/2010 18:27

Well I send you all my sympathy Fab.
A pity some of the posters can't READ.
Look on the bright side- at least you didn't post in AIBU.

ditavionteased · 03/05/2010 18:28

so we have just had a family meeting (did I mention my dd is doing my head in) used a brush (hurts more than a spoon) and have come up with a list of house rules and all signed it. everyone seems a lot happier. Thanks for that advice.

MrsMc82 · 03/05/2010 18:41

FFS at the "holier-than-thou" posts on this thread - think its appalling - surely this MN board is meant to be a supportive forum in which to vent about parenting issues not somewhere to make people feel like shit in order to make yourself feel better than someone - you're really are such silly cows is that the only way you can feel like good parents??!!!

Imo Fab, you definitely did the right thing ignore the twats on here, venting annonymously on here when you're wound up is waaaaaaaay much better than loosing your temper at your dcs.

smallishsheep · 03/05/2010 18:45

Yes, that's exactly what I am, a twat and a silly cow
Maybe cow has different connotations where I'm from, so I apologise. But fab, what comes across in your posts time and again, is just how little joy you seem to get from your children. And no, I'm not perfect, holier than thou, or any other crap you care to throw at me. But for goodness sake, how much longer can you parent as passively as you do, coming on to report every little thing they do to wind you up?

Fluffyvacuity · 03/05/2010 18:59

Flame away.

I'm not trying to be horrible or hurt you Fab but there is a line between constant unquestioning support and being 'twats' or 'silly cows'. MrsMc82 - if you can't see that then you're a bit dim. Sorry

I kind of agree with Sheep, you do often come on here and post re your children, you don't seem to enjoy them. Also you post all the time. This is a heartfelt gentle question - do you think maybe you should spend more time with them and less on here? You do seem a little dependent on mn. I'm trying to be helpful honestly not harsh.

And imho of course it's fine to call your child whatever you like in your head, as you did

ItsAllaBitNoisy · 03/05/2010 19:01

That was my point smallishsheep, if you are always getting responses like: "Every fucking time I post about my kids behaviour the boot gets kicked in about how I am in the wrong."
Then there is probably a problem.

But it seems it's easier to just rant at posters who don't agree that you are fabulous.

OP you sound about 15 tbh.

electra · 03/05/2010 19:04

Honestly, I think you are giving it too much thought. It must have made you feel quite bad for you to post it on here. I have a 6 year old dd - they know how to push your buttons

It's not indicative of any wider intention on her part to hurt you.

Original poster
FabIsGoingToGetFit · 03/05/2010 19:05

If you knew what my kids meant to me you would not say such hurtful things.

I don't expect anyone to say I am fabulous as I am not.

It has actually been a while since I posted for advice about my kids as I knew I would get something similar to what i am getting now.

I posted a rant. i did not ask for advice.

unbelievable.

OP posts:
Fluffyvacuity · 03/05/2010 19:09

Not trying to be mean Fab honestly, i'm sorry you feel 'got at' It is worth just thinking about some of the more constructive things people have said.

compost · 03/05/2010 19:09

So why post if you felt the advice you got was not what you wanted to hear?

Seems to me, that unless people are smothering you with support and praise all the time, you cannot deal with other opinions, advice.

You have to admit, you are always looking for support, then leaving, saying goodbye, returning within a day and the whole cirle starts again.

Original poster
FabIsGoingToGetFit · 03/05/2010 19:17

It wans't about not hearing what I wanted. I just wanted to rant. I didn't ask for advice!

Right, so I use MN too much, am too dependent. Okay, that is probably true so maybe you could suggest something else I could use for support? My mum? No, don't have one. My dad? No, don't have one. Siblings? No, don't have any. Get the picture?

I can deal with opinions, advice, difficult things to hear. I have done for a long time but sometimes I have just had enough and are not in the mood. I DID NOT ASK FOR ADVICE. I was ranting so as to NOT LOSE MY TEMPER WITH MY CHILD.

I wasn't aware there was a limit on how much support you could ask for.

OP posts:
GypsyMoth · 03/05/2010 19:18

Oh fgs, fab has reasons for posting you know??

Do you all know anything of her history? No, not everone does,but she has good grounds for having wobbles about her parenting every now and then. Stop and think before posting such nastiness!!

She does a bloody good job!

squilly · 03/05/2010 19:19

Kids sometimes make you think 'cheeky little cow'. If they didn't, you wouldn't be normal. Fab didn't call child this. She came on here to blow off steam instead. Don't see the problem myself.

I love my dd to bits. She was sooooo wanted...3 mc's before, 1 since, and she's my one and only. But there are times when I call her names in my head too. She's a bugger on occasion.

If I was near MN at the time, I'd do what Fab's done and have a moan about her. Sadly, it always happens when I'm not online

ItsAllaBitNoisy · 03/05/2010 19:21

Yawn. You sound like a stroppy teenager.

nickschick · 03/05/2010 19:26

Fab its ok-we all have days like this.

Bjesus I know I do .

Fluffyvacuity · 03/05/2010 19:31

Threeblondes - i don't think anyone said she didn't do a good job. Also it's not really fair to use 'you don't know her history' to scold posters with, that's true of nearly everyone who posts surely. Perhaps it could say in the title 'Only posters who know my history please'?

I think people were gently trying to suggest she enjoyed her children more by posting less and bonding more? [Shrugs shoulders] I think that's what was meant.

And as i already said thinking rude things in head re dcs is normal surely, and as fab said, she didn't say them.

TotalChaos · 03/05/2010 19:34

have you ever done a parenting course such as Webster Stratton/Positive Parenting Fab? I don't mean that in a patronising way, more in you having the chance to talk about these issues in a real life but lowish pressure context, and to see just how normal all this is - cheeky kids/feeling wound up etc.

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