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Parenting

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Original poster

Facebook - to actively consider reporting underage users?

89 replies

grumpypants · 02/04/2010 09:58

because i am irritated by the persistent attempts of friends' children (aged 11 and younger) to befriend me. I keep ignoring it, they keep trying. I don't talk to them about 'me' in real life; why wd i do so on the internet? Then, yesterday i found you can report them to facebook and get their accounts removed. I am v tempted...

OP posts:

Are your children’s vaccines up to date?

Set a reminder

SixtyFootDoll · 02/04/2010 15:07

My DS is 10 and he has a FB account.
I set his password and his privacy settings to the highest.
He is friends with family members who live abroad and with is school friends, he only adds people he knows in RL and I log into his account daily to check on what he is doing.

I refuse requests from is friends to be my friend as like the OP I dont want to share things with them that I share with my friends.

I think it is safer for him to know how to use the internet safely rather than ban it.
I know there is an 'under 13 rule' but that is prob to cover FB's arses than anything else.

southeastastra · 02/04/2010 15:28

my nephew's cat has it's own facebook page.

nappyaddict · 02/04/2010 15:41

I don't have a problem with children being on Facebook as long as all the privacy settings are set to "Just friends", they don't have a profile picture and they only have family as friends. This is what my cousin has done with her 6 year old cousins who only want to use it for Farmville.

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2old4thislark · 02/04/2010 15:56

I have my young nieces and my cousins daughter as my Fb friends, though they are under 13. I am enjoying seeing my nieces trip to Australia though photots on FB atm.

I would accept but adjust you privacy settings (click on customize and type in their name) so that they can't see your staus updates etc. My 17 year old son did this to me which, tbh, I prefer.

Don't report them, no point as they will sign up again.

MoreCrackThanHarlem · 02/04/2010 16:08

I would report them.
I don't care if they are only on there for Farmville, it is against the rules and as such parents should be more able to say no than many seem to be.

What sort of example are they setting by allowing their children to blatantly break the rules wrt Internet safety?When another issue arises where parents want their dc to adhere to 'the rules', their authority is seriously undermined.

Why on earth does a 6yo need a Facebook page? It just seems ludicrous.

ifItoldyouIdhavetokillyou · 02/04/2010 16:12

I guess the message is that FB is meant for teenagers not grown adults.

GenevieveHawkings · 02/04/2010 16:26

As far as I'm concerned Facebook is so fucking inane it would only appeal to children anyway.

I mean ask yourself, quite frankly who would Farmville appeal to besides children?

2old4thislark · 02/04/2010 16:29

Farmville? My daughter's Uni friends have the best farms.....need I say more?

SixtyFootDoll · 02/04/2010 16:41

Agree withthe Farmville and the other villes, LOB

mitochondria · 02/04/2010 16:44

I have lots of real friends and family on mine, too. I tell them what I'm registered as. No problem.

I think it's just teacher paranoia. I'm imagining students, or their parents, looking me up. Not that I have much on there apart from photos of my children, but still.

There have been several threads on here from people who have been complaining about things on the Facebook pages of their children's teachers or TAs.

ilovesprouts · 02/04/2010 16:44

a few of my friends kids have fb too i have a few but only to send gifts through farmville i only add the ones i do know think i hve 6 or so pals dc etc ...

farmerjones · 02/04/2010 17:06

11 and 12 year olds dont bother me too much. but the under tens seriously get on my nerves.

fluffles · 02/04/2010 17:54

i wouldn't report an under-age user who was quietly keeping to him or herself and only using it to contact family and close friends.

but, if i was getting friend requests from under-age kids i didn't know very well then i think i would report them - for their own safety - sending a friend request to a relatively unknown adult is not safe fb behaviour.

dustythedolphin · 02/04/2010 18:09

It would be a bit mean to "report" them IMHO. I get friends requests all the time from people I don't know - all you need to do is click on "ignore" and they will go away.

FB has plenty of ways to protect privacy and a child's account can be set up by a parent so that they can play Farmwille etc but in a way that it isn't visible to the public and no one can directly request their friendship.

FB guidelines are just that - they are not the law

I have several under 14 FB friends who are the DCs of family and close friends and they keep themselves to themselves and generally just play Farmville etc

AAs long as they are not putting themselves at risk and they have set their privacy ssettings correctly, what harm are they doing

TBH I think playing Farmville is probably marginally preferable to watching American cartoons on TV - at least its not 100% passive absorbtion entertainment

dustythedolphin · 02/04/2010 18:13

agree Fb is a great way to keep in touch with friends - I have lots of rellies in Oz and friends I have left behind in the UK and FB is great for keeping in touch.

TBH it makes me giggle that people who have virtual conversations on MN with ppl with made up names would call FB "inane" - pot, kettle, black?

smad · 02/04/2010 18:18

Dont use facebook so much then it wont get on your nerves - get a life

clousseau99 · 02/04/2010 18:52

Lots of schools are having problems with underage children using facebook - in fact every school I visit has this issue. It never fails to shock me how many of these profiles are set up by the parents themselves. I noted with interest one post suggested a facebook lite set up but what would stop an adult with ill intentions from lying about their age to set up an account so they have access to the very people they are targeting. I think parents are incredibly naive in letting their child have an account. I would say 13 is the very minimum age that a child could have a profile and use it sensibly and carefully. I think it is worrying that children are asking adults that they know to be 'friends'. People that damage children are often the people they know otherwise how would they have access to them in the first place (two of the recent high profile cases were instances where the children knew the people who went on to hurt them - they were neighbours boyfriends). Facebook should be a lovely way to make friends but sadly it is abused and that is the world we live in. I would definately speak to a parent that I know if their child tried to add me as a friend.

ComplimentaryUpgrade · 02/04/2010 20:32

I have an alter ego on facebook...

ComplimentaryUpgrade · 02/04/2010 20:38

I think someone should comment on this.

PerArduaAdNauseum · 02/04/2010 20:55

I have a fake name for facebook - people I know know who I am. Other people can't find me - because frankly if I wanted to stay in touch with the people I went to school with I would have gone to one of the reunions [meh].

So report the underage kids - why not? They're breaking the code, and actions have consequences...

Ingles2 · 02/04/2010 21:35

well my 10 yr old has a fb account but I know the password and only I am allowed to accept friend requests etc.
My parents live abroad and my Pil are elderly so this is a great way for them to regularly keep in touch.
He has had lots of friend requests from primary age children and I've refused them all much to his disappointment.

GenevieveHawkings · 02/04/2010 22:32

DustytheDolphin said:

"TBH it makes me giggle that people who have virtual conversations on MN with ppl with made up names would call FB "inane" - pot, kettle, black?"

Well, at least you could argue that it's possible to glean some sort of useful information and advice from your interaction here but for adults to be sending gifts to other adults on Farmville - well, that's in a whole new sphere of inanity (that's probably not a word at all but you get my drift).

PerArduaAdNauseum · 02/04/2010 22:35

Inanity is a perfectly proper word Genevieve - both in itself and in context {grin]

ravenAK · 02/04/2010 22:37

My 5 year old has an account, which he uses responsibly & which we monitor.

Discussed it not long ago on here actually - I'll see if I can find the thread rather than repeating my arguments on this one.

ravenAK · 02/04/2010 22:40

Here earlier thread about kids & facebook

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