Just lost it with dd1. I want to bang my head off a wall. I can't deal with her anymore.

[suiledonne]

We have an ongoing battle about clothes.

She has weird issues about her socks, her trousers, sleeves....

And now it has spilled over into her not wanting to wear her shoes.

We can't leave the house without a major battle.

I thought she would grow out of it. It has been going on forever.

Maybe there is actually something wrong with her and I am handling it so badly.

She is nearly 4.

I'm so upset. I just ripped her socks off and told her to get out of the house. DH was trying to do a nice thing - taking her out for a while and she just complained so much about everything.

Just want to give up now..................

Sounds like me. My mother used to make me wear clothes that I didn't like tight necked skivvies, wool, scratchy pants, skirts, tights. Loved not being at school cos I could wear bare feet and comfy clothes.

I went to a high school with a uniform and put some of my bad results down to the uncomfortable uniform - shirt, tie, woolen jumper, tights and a kilt.

I have't got any better and since starting to buy my own clothes I'm very selective as only have a few favs. Saves on money as I don't shop a lot. I don't mind jeans but they have to be washed once before wearing and wide around my waist. Underpants I'm very particular about. I love short t shirts and I cut the neck out of them to make the more comfy. The only warm clothing I like is hoodies of which I can only wear one at a time. I only wear hiking shoes or birkies and don't like to get new ones.

When I go home my mother always complains of my clothes and wants me to change and wear other things and I'm 32!!!! It is a struggle. From my point of few I would find exactly what she likes and only buy clothes that she likes. And also at 4 shes old enough to get herself dressed so if she wears shoes/sandles/boots with no socks it's her choice. In saying that I'm glad my mother was pretty hardline with me with my clothing when younger.

Thanks for all the advice/experience/sympathy I have received on this thread.

My copy of the Highly Sensitive Chils has arrived and I have only dipped it but I can safely say it could have been written about her.

I have decided to accept that this is the way she is for now and to compromise and encourage rather than battle with her.

We had to go out this morning so I gave her plenty of advance warning. I made sure the only trousers she likes was washed and ready and had her favourite tshirt and hoody ready too.

I made a point of putting her socks on inside out and when she complained about her shoes I calmly said to wear her crocs instead.

Instead of the face washing battle I gave her one of the cotton pads I use for cleansing already wet and got her to wash her own face which she did rather cautiously at first but she got into it in the end.

She did kick up a bit about wearing a coat but I just said we would put it in the car in case she needed it and when we got out it was windy and very cold and she put it on without a word.

It has been the easiest we have left the house in a long, long time.

So now I know what works I just have to have the patience to persevere.

Maybe if everything stops being a battle she will relax and loosen up her rules a bit.

Thanks again everyone

Fantastic!Really chuffed for you both!Calm and assertive is the key.I constantly have to work on myself with that one,and I have come to think that it isnt meant to be easy.Everyday is a new challenge and the way in which I handle the situation will determine the outcome (usually!).I wish you all the best!x