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Parenting

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Original poster

Gone dummy cold turkey tonight, need hand holding!!

29 replies

melsy · 20/03/2010 20:00

Im hearing - "I dont want to suck my thumb" (dd16.6yrs suggested it this evening to her) over and over from upstairs.

Weve been counting down to tonight for the last 10days in preparation with dd2 3.6 yrs.

Dummys are in a pretty bag at front door for fairies & a Robot has been requested.

She asked about 5 times during bed time reading when the fairies were coming. Normally she has dummy in and gets much more chilled at this time , but she was a tad frenetic & wouldnt sit still. I put her in bed and she asked 3 times that shed like her dummy.

This is quite a challenge for me as Ive been seriously unwell since last yr and Im having a really difficult day with my own symptoms.

since Ive been writing this her calling has escalated into crying her eyes out and my stress levels are rocketing.

Shes now come into the hall at the top , something she never normally does.

bed times are normally SO EASY

help me not crack

Shall I cut all the teats so I cant give in???

Dh has just put her in bed and hes come down and says its heartbreaking.

I feel rotten that shes not all soothed and relaxed.

oohh nooo what do I do

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Original poster

melsy · 20/03/2010 20:04

I forgot weve also got a babysitter booked on Monday night

OP posts:

IlooklikeGrotbagstoday · 20/03/2010 20:05

Would it help to remove the bag and show her the faries have been?

1Littleboy1Bigboy · 20/03/2010 20:07

my ds2 2.11yrs has been dummy free fir 2 weeks now. They were affecting his teeth - cruel to be kind! be strong and DO NOT GIVE IN.

I just threw them in the bin and didn't bother with all the fairy stuff - he wouldn't understand that anyway.

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FernieB · 20/03/2010 20:07

I can't really help as we didn't have dummies. DD's did have blankets which they were very attached to and we eventually had to get rid of them as they were in an awful state despite constant washing. I remember we had one really awful night and then it was okay. Just bear with it. It will be better tomorrow. Don't worry about Monday - kids usually behave better for sitters than for parents!

gemmummy · 20/03/2010 20:09

be strong, it will get easier every single night

Original poster

melsy · 20/03/2010 20:11

Do I take her down then ILLGBT?

Thing is , shes been so excited about the fairies , like its Xmas here today.
Whenever we've mentioned it today , shes jumped up and down and squealed with excitement!

ohhhhhh shes back in the hall

Dh says hes feels like weve gone back a few days.

OP posts:

LynetteScavo · 20/03/2010 20:12

Be strong. She can do it. Just make sure you have removed all of the dummies. I went out on day 3, and DH found one, and gave it to DD. We had to give that one up to the fairy in exchange for another gift.

Oh, and be prepared for her to hate the dummy fairy for ever.

FernieB · 20/03/2010 20:14

Why don't you or DH take her back up to bed and let her have another short story as it's a special night. Then if she's really over-excited about the whole thing, maybe the fairies could come quietly while she's listening to the story and either you or DH could 'discover' this and call up to her.

Joolyjoolyjoo · 20/03/2010 20:14

I was a bit of a softie on this one, i'm afraid! I gave the girls the option of leaving the dummy under thei pillow for the dummy fairy. They really wanted to, but for the first few nights with each of them, they ended up retrieving the dummy! Eventually greed overcame the yen for the dummy, and the fairy left them money. the difficulty came the next night when they wanted the dummy back again, but I couldn't then give in, as as far as they were concerned the fairy had taken them away! But I liked the fact that it was their decision to give it up, not that I was taking their beloved "dodie" and "gogo" away from them!

Original poster

melsy · 20/03/2010 20:15

Im normally much stronger, its harder now though being unwell, Im much more vulnerable with stress levels getting higher.

I meant to say dh feels weve gone back a few years , feels like were doing pick up/put down again!

OP posts:

IlooklikeGrotbagstoday · 20/03/2010 20:17

I think i'd go up and pretend i could hear the fairies (like santa) so we'd better be very quiet and good etc. Then if she is still awake in half an hour bring her down to see the bag has gone. I'm sure lots will disagree but this sort of thing works with DS 2 1/2.

Good luck

JoeJoe1977 · 20/03/2010 20:19

Be thankful you can give the dummies to the fairies. DS1 (4.5yrs) is a thumb sucker and I don't think it would go down very well if I left his thumb by the front door for the fairies to take, robot or no robot!!!!

Just think, tonight will be tough, but she'll be so tired tomorrow night that sleep will come easier and (hopefully) the habit will be broken.

Thinking of you

Original poster

melsy · 20/03/2010 20:33

yess , I was thinking the same joejoe, not as easy to get rid of thumb sucking!!

Well its gone quiet for now , Im not counting me chickens yet. Dh and I are whispering downstairs!!!

I want to go up and check , but I daren't , otherwise the "I want my dummy" sobbing will start all over again!

my head banging now!

OP posts:

thisisyesterday · 20/03/2010 20:35

i['d just give her the dummy. really, is it worth the upset???

FernieB · 20/03/2010 20:38

Stay downstairs and enjoy the peace for however long it lasts. It will get better. Don't give in now - you've been firm for so long. If you give in, she'll learn she can get what she wants by crying and moaning.

bamboobutton · 20/03/2010 20:39

i'm with thisisyesterday. she'll grow out of dummies so why not let her have it if it gives comfort?

i had dummies until i was 5ish. my teeth are fine.

JoeJoe1977 · 20/03/2010 20:40

Is it raining where you are? Could you go out for a quick walk and leave DH in the house and then he can do the same in a bit? Just some fresh air to clear your head.

thisisyesterday · 20/03/2010 20:40

or maybe she'll learn that when she is really upset her mum helps her?

Stinkyfeet · 20/03/2010 20:45

I know it's a bit late for this now tonight, but when both my ds's gave up their dummies (around 3), I sat with them for the first few nights to comfort them until they fell asleep. By the 3rd night, they were fine.

Maybe you could try that tomorrow, or tonight if she wakes again.

FernieB · 20/03/2010 20:47

As her mum was the one to take the dummies away, giving them back because she is crying would not be helping her, just giving in to a tantrum.

thisisyesterday · 20/03/2010 20:51

hardly!

JoeJoe1977 · 20/03/2010 21:08

OP - How is it going?

emkana · 20/03/2010 21:12

agree with bamboobutton and thisisyesterday.

Original poster

melsy · 20/03/2010 21:20

Thats fine if you want to disagree with what Im doing , Ive been on here enough years to weather the storm.

All I will say is that Im a compassionate caring and attentive mother.

"or maybe she'll learn that when she is really upset her mum helps her?"

If you are implying something thisisyesterday, just say it.

Shes actually been asleep for the last hour.

OP posts:

JoeJoe1977 · 20/03/2010 21:27

Fingers crossed that you all have a restful night.

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