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Original poster

Too many "I love yous"??????

57 replies

becaroo · 05/03/2010 17:39

My ds1 who is 6 has always been (I am happy to say) a very affectionate, cuddly little boy.

My mum was over at my house for most of the day one day last week and after ds1 has told me (for about the 6th time that day) that he loved me and I told him I loved him back she told me that he tells me too often and its not normal!!!

Now, I realise that my mother is mad as a box of frogs but it got me wondering....Can you ever tell a child you love them too often??? Do other children say "I love you" as often as ds1?

I will happily listen to him tell me all day and will tell him I love him 20 times a day if the mood takes me!!!!!

Of course I am a child of the 1970s and I cannot remember my parents ever telling me they loved me - they showed it in many ways of course - but they have never said it and I dont suppose they ever will. Is that the difference? Is it a generational thing?

Would be interested to hear some of your views!
Thanks x

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Lizzylou · 05/03/2010 17:41

I'm with you, I am constantly telling my DS's I love them, and them me.
It is a good thing.

You are right that your Mom is mad as a box of frogs

Original poster
becaroo · 05/03/2010 17:42

Yep, she is

OP posts:
Ineedmorechocolatenow · 05/03/2010 17:43

Same here..... we say it lots every day too.....

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doubleinstructions · 05/03/2010 17:44

a huge box

gramercy · 05/03/2010 17:46

It's a generational thing.

I think some people criticise their parents and say "oh, my mother was cold" or "my father never showed me any affection" but the 1970s (and certainly before!) was a different country. It's the same as saying "oh, I was deprived because we always had sausage and mash on Wednesdays and never had couscous or pesto".

My parents never said "I love you" but I certainly know they did.

In fact I'll go so far as to say that I think it is a touch overused today. To my I've heard mums outside the school calling "Love you!" in a sing-song voice in place of "Bye" - to other mummies . Bizarre.

Original poster
becaroo · 05/03/2010 17:48

"Love you" to other mums?????? How odd.

OP posts:
MitsubishiWarrioress · 05/03/2010 17:55

Say it loads here. From chirpy 'Luvs ya' to DS as he speeds out, to long cuddles with 'I love you' and a special reason if they are down, sad or just because.

It is nice as far as I am concerned

Original poster
becaroo · 05/03/2010 17:59

This is nice to hear

OP posts:
thisisnotwhoyouthink · 05/03/2010 18:04

I am the same I am always hugging kissing patting and just generally all over my kids!! They are both very affectionate and i constantly tell them i love them!!

Bumperlicious · 05/03/2010 18:04

Sometimes I end phone convos with 'I love you' to friends, though it is usually by accident, a habitual thing from talking to DH or my mum!

Tee2072 · 05/03/2010 18:07

I think its the one thing you can never say too much to your kids.

And its a 1970s British generational thing, maybe. I grew up in the States and my parents told me they loved me all the time. And still do.

ArthurPewty · 05/03/2010 18:09

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn

sweetcat · 05/03/2010 18:11

Never too many love you's IMO. I only remember syaing it to my Dad on his deathbed which saddens me. Course we loved each other it just wasn't said so my DC's get and give plenty of love you's

notmyrealnameofcourse · 05/03/2010 18:14

Similar here. It was never said when I was growing up, but DS1 started to say it when he was about 5. Many times a day.

I thought it was sweet and savoured the moment thinking it was a passing phase.

He still says it lots every day and he's 14 now.

Original poster
becaroo · 05/03/2010 18:18

ooh lovely. I hope my ds is still saying it at 14!!!!

OP posts:
copperjar · 05/03/2010 18:19

You can never say it too often, never.

Jamieandhismagictorch · 05/03/2010 18:27

gramercy - I sort of agree with you. I knew my parents loved me, but we never said it to each other.

On the other hand, when - at the age of 20 - I wrote a letter and told my mum I loved her, in it, she was very thrilled, as she said no-one in her family had said it to each other.

We say it to each other at least once a day. It's good.

Jamieandhismagictorch · 05/03/2010 18:28

Sorry, by "we" , I meant me and my DCs and DH (last post)

SixtyFootDoll · 05/03/2010 18:31

There is no upper limit on it.
Like above my parents never say they love me, I know they do.
But I never tire of saying it tto my DSs and love it when they say it to me!

Bensmum76 · 05/03/2010 18:32

AH, I love this thread!! I tell my DS 2.4 years old that I love him all the time and am teaching him to say 'I love you too mummy'!!! He is very affectionate with cuddles and its great. I was born in the late 70's and my parents, when I look back, seemed very cold and were not very affectionate. i have never thought of it as a generational thing and am kinda relieved that is!! And also that things have changed!

whensmydayoff · 05/03/2010 20:41

Another 70's child - they were bizzare weren't they?

My mum proudly tells me that when the silly hospital told her to feed me every 4 hours (formula of course, what else)? She thought, yeh right and how's that going to establish a routine?

Sooooo if I dared to cry she would give me cooled boiled water and sugar and low and behold "you soon learned". Sleeping from 1/2 weeks old. .

This used to be spouted to me while I was PG with my first.....she was ever so proud.

When I struggled with BF _ I was starving DS and now Im struggling with DD apparently "everybody was happier when I put DS onto formula at 5 months"!! Im not sure who these "everybody" are!

Never said I love you and still doesn't but I know she does....how couldn't she, I was the perfect baby! .

To be honest though, I think she see's what im like with DS (DD only 12 weeks) and just the little looks and the comments I think she wishes she had had the same IYSWIM.

She also smothers DS in kisses and has now became accustomed to the odd mumbled "luv you" when he leaves.

Maybe your mum is a wee bit envious or even guilty and sub cons. sys it's too much because it makes her uneasy.

Personally there can't be enough!

LittlePushka · 05/03/2010 20:58

No number can ever be enough IMO!

(Pushka rushes off to get a glass of milk for whensmydayoff to make up for the early days..

heQet · 05/03/2010 21:02

I must tell mine I love them about a hundred times a day. And they're gorgeous, and clever, and kind, and all manner of confidence boosting things

I have never gone a day, in my 10 yrs of being a parent, without telling them how much I love them and how great they are.

tbh, they are sick of hearing it

Horton · 05/03/2010 21:05

DD (3 and a half) tells me she loves me hundreds of times a day and I tell her the same. Sometimes she comes into the kitchen when I'm cooking and clasps my hand or leg and kisses it passionately and tells me 'you're my best person ever!' while making little cooing noises. I love it. And I love her and I don't believe you can tell a child they are loved too much. I remember my aunt telling me 'you're smothering that baby with kisses' when DD was about six months old. How on earth can someone hold a baby they love and not kiss them? I don't understand it at all! And babies love being cuddled and kissed. If I really have smothered her, all I can say is she seems to be enjoying it.

Anyway, in ten years time no doubt she'll be telling me I'm the most embarrassing person on earth and to leave her alone so I might as well enjoy the love while I can!

aoifesmama · 05/03/2010 21:08

I say it all day long to DD who looks at me like I'm mad (she's 10mo!)