Accused of 'babying' DS, and holding him back - what to do about it?

[wheresmypaddle]

DS is 2y11m. I met with my postnatal group last week and realised that my DS is the only one still in nappies, in a cot and having a drink of milk before bed. Someone ?kindly? said maybe I was babying him and needed to let go and allow him to grow up, there was even a suggestion I was damaging him (ouch). I feel a bit insulted- which has left me wondering if there is some truth in her comment (I usually find that criticisms hurt most when there is some truth in them).

I think DS is pretty ?normal? developmentally. He is happy, lively and outgoing. He is very sociable and adjusts easily to new situations and challenges. He is pretty average in terms of numbers, letters, colours etc. he goes to Nursery and a local playgroup once a week (both without me) which he enjoys, and socialises with his ?friends?.

I haven?t really pushed him to learn or do anything as such, except encouraging him to dress / undress himself as much as possible. I am in no hurry to move him into a ?big?bed and plan to potty train him as soon as the weather warms up a bit. The only thing I am aware is rather babyish is that he still loves to sleep in a grow-bag, I plan to prise this off him when the cold snap has passed.

DS is an only child, conceived after several miscarriages. I have a condition which means having another child could cause me to have a brain haemorrhage (am fine if not pregnant, luckily). I am not willing to take that risk, hence DS being an only and yes, I admit a PFB.

So I guess I am a prime candidate for being overprotective and possibly holding him back. I have tried not to- I admit I don?t want him to grow up too quickly but really hoped I had avoided falling into the trap of over-babying him.

I would really appreciate some perspective on this- how do I know if I am babying or delaying him? Can anyone (gently) point out what damage I could cause by not pushing him to grow up as much as I perhaps should?

Oh, take no notice. Some people ... tsk! My DTs were in cots until they were 2.10 and my son was in nappies until 3.3. He still has a drink of milk at bedtime, although my daughter prefers water. There were quite a few well meaning mums at playgroup, including a young mum half my age with an only child significantly younger than mine, wanting to 'advise' me on my DTs moving to beds. My DTs are also reluctant to drop their daytime sleeps - hurray!- but I am the outcast of playgroup for this.

You are doing absolutely nothing wrong and certainly not damaging him by anything you are doing. He sounds like a lovely little boy. No one is going to ask him at his first interview what age he moved from a cot to a bed and came out of nappies! Tell the rude person to stick their comments up their arse. (Or something along those lines )

My first 2 DC were both nearly 3 before they were ready to be potty trained. Because I waited til they were actually ready it only took about 2weeks with both of them.

DD1 is now 11 years old and still has a drink of milk before bed.

You sound like you are doing a wondeful job. Your DS is going to grow up to be well balanced and releaxed because you are letting him do things in his own time.

I reckon he'll also grow up feeling that his mummy loved him very very much which can only ever be a good thing!

Many thanks to everyone who has posted, you have really cheered me up and removed the 'sting' that I felt following my postnatal group meet up.

I've given the grow bag removal some more thought and decided not to force him to sleep without it- its only a sleeping bag, he loves it, sleeps like a log and is unlikely to still be wearing it at age 16.

Thanks again everyone- funny how a group of MNers who I have never met in real life can be so supportive compared to my RL postnatal 'friends'!!

I have never attempted potty training before 3, complete waste of time.

only read OP, but your mates comments are a bit cheeky, what business is it of hers?

Cot is fine until it's too small or they can climb out.

Potty training in warmer weather is SO much easier (and he'll do it when he's )

I still had milk before bed when I was in primary school.. no problem there either